Embarrassed that I let the opportunity to bond go by because of a small twinge of jealousy in me. I know you have to speak to everyone, men and women alike. I know you have a diverse community to pastor, counsel and just be with on many different levels. I let something little draw a wedge between me and you tonight. Where was my trust and confidence tonight? Trust and Confidence. This is a struggle that I seem to constantly have. I thought I had placed these concerns to rest. I trust you, I do believe in you and I am concerned that it became a problem for me for a moment and then there just never seemed another opportunity to click.
I don't understand why it bothered me tonight..Nothing is different, nothing is ever different, when does it ever become different? Is this all that there is to be? I don't hold claim to be in control of this at all. I give all power to the Lord. I just have to rely on Him to transform my mind and renew my heart. I don't like to be around you and not even make eye contact, not even say hello, not even have some kind of connection. That's just bogus. I leave feeling shortchanged and hurt.
This is outrageous. We can't keep going on like this. What does all this mean?
Well enough drama for me for one night, good night.
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