Happy New Year 2009

I pray that you have a vary happy new year's celebration. I Will not be there tonight. I'm not up to the challenge today.

I want to thank you for everything this year. How it has been a struggle for you health wise. It has not been easy. 2008 has seen you go through some very emotional and physical challenges. Thank God you have overcome and battled them to come out a winner at the end of this year. I pray that 2009 has a much better diagnosis for you. I pray that you are healthy and strong for this coming new year. 2008 is a year that will constantly be addressed in the history books. The year of the presidential election, the financial breakdowns, the huge layoffs and the horrible weather, and the horrible murder rate of our children. We lived through it and survived. What lessons have we learned? I just have to believe that 2009 is going to be better. I have to bring out that mustard seed of faith and let it grow. So I spend this new year's eve at home. No party, no celebration, just reflection and prayer. God bless you this evening. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

If Something isn't working out, there's usually a good reason

When something isn't working out in our lives we try to force it. We resist the truth. Maybe the timing is wrong. Sometimes we know what the reason is an sometimes we don't. These are the times we have to trust in the wisdom of the Lord and the blessings of the Our Heavenly Father to bring us the right thing at the right time. I put my trust in God for the perfect timing of everything.

Hello

Choice.
My coice was to write a journal abou my feelings, thoughts and emotions about the things going on in my life. How I love and need Our Lord and Savior in my life andmy battle, my journey to stay on the path with God as my Leader and Master. My choice was to say that I loved a man. Wanted that man, needed that man in my life. Chose to write about that man and how I feel about him in my journal. I asked God to help me love him. Show me the way. Allow me to be happy and in love. Well, years later and many many journal entries later, I am still on that same quest. That same journey. But I have to look at where I am now, what is apparent and what is still elusive.
I HAVE A CHOICE. CHOICE. I am choosing to be in this situation. We make choice in our lives that affect who we are and what we shall become. We don't get into heaven by our deeds but then, we do have to treat others the way we want to be treated. We have to love one another as we love ourselves. We must care for the least. We are caregivers.
Its what in our hearts that is constantly checked and double checked. What are our true intentions? Do we have selfish gain on our minds, are we taking care of ourselves so we can take care of others? So with this miraculous choice I am asking for and wanting one thing and doing another.
This is like addict behavior. I want to be one way but for what ever reason I am not. How do they treat addicts? Intervention, rehab? Where do I go for intervention and rehab? I went to counseling and that was not helpful, If I followed his advice, I would have left the church and never returned.
Is it because I am scared that the task is too great. Do I doubt God that this is really for me? Do I believe we really have a future together? Am I choosing this life situation? If I have control to not talk then I must have control to talk. Well why do I keep saying I want to talk, to communicate more and then nothing happens. I'm tired of nothing happening.
Every day I sit at this computer to write. Every day. Lately, I just do not know what to say. I feel like I have said it all.
I Don't know where to go from here. I'm at an impasse. You have had such a year. You don't need this drama. I feel ridiculous. So I just keep doing the same old thing. Helping, volunteering, taking care of others and praying that maybe, just maybe some good fortune will happen for me in this area. Maybe God will show some kindness for me.
So this year I will not take on more responsibility. I will finish this National Board in March. I will then not take on any new projects, tasks or anything new. I will devote myself to developing my spiritual gifts, spending more time on my life. I will of course still have my care giving duties but I will try to limit them as much as possible.
Maybe I'm burned out right now and just depleted.
Why this one area? Why? Today I just had a mustard seed of faith. I am tired of nothing. But I said OK Lord, just keep on going.What to do now? Keep getting up. Keep facing him until one day its more than just hi and goodbye. So be blessed today and be a blessing.

Hello Darling

I got your sleeping bag.
I'm really excited aobut it. I wanted something that would keep someone warm in a cold weather environment. 25F is pretty cold.
I'll bring it on Wednesday.
I was blessed to see you tonight. I'm excited about the spiritual gifts and social justice work that we will be doing. What a blessing. I love you.
Good Night. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

I Believe

I believe that God wants me to know his word is true. I doubted and feared. I submit to God's Will. His ways are higher than my ways. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. I commit my thoughts and my will to be agreeable to God's plans. I am his servant, I trust in his will in my life. I feared setting an example for anyone but I have to let God's will rule. God knows a pure heart. I pray that I am able and willing to talk and be the vessel that God wants me to be. Will my works show me to be faithful? A believer of the blessings of God? Glory to your name, Father God. You are worthy to be praised. My praises continue to go up and I pray that the blessing will come down. I believe in the promises of God.

Winter

Thank You Lord for today. I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to shovel snow. Wet, heavy snow. I am sore and tired tonight. Lord I know that each and every season is a blessing. In just four days we will celebrate the birth of your son here on Earth. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS! I know you are not still wondering if I LOVE YOU!
God knows that I am totally and completely in love. I love the fact that I can think of things that are holy and pure when I am lonely or discouraged. I know God loves me and I believe that you do too. That's just my belief. I choose to believe that. God gave us free will and that is what I choose. There is nothing that can separate me from the love of Christ. I am a friend of God. God is concerned with the littlest of details that is in my life. It is not about me but about all of us. Teach me how to trust others and be a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Help me to walk in your love and show my self sincere and friendly. Help me to love.
Good night and God Bless You. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone. God loves you and so do I. Did you spend date night under Wacker Drive? I will have to find that sleeping bag tomorrow.

Perseverance

Pray unceasingly.
Today's event was very emotional. The mother touched all of our hearts. The message was clear. The pain was evident. God loves us and wants us to show love to one another. No one needs to buy more than one gun a month. Any one doing anything else is distributing them. Dont waver or give up. You are needed to get this done. I know it wears on your heart but you are needed. I love you for stepping up to the challenge.

Thank You Really, Thank You

There is nothing more genuine and loving than someone giving to children and women in need. Thank you for being so thoughtful and giving. The toy giveaway is always a blessing. Thank God you are there to help us at such a crucial time of the year. You may think that you are just the go between for someone to donate but they chose to give it to you so that you could give it to us. Without you it would not have happened.
Its a blizzard out there right now. I will have to see what it is like in a couple of hours to decide about the service tonight. I want to go. My heart wants to be near you and God. We will have to see if it lets up otherwise I am not going to spend two hours each way in traffic. Everything moves slowly when there is precipitation in the air.
I will have to wait and see what happens.Patience and Prayer.

Thank You???

Let Every Heart Prepare

Praise the Lord and Everything that is within Him. Blessed and Highly Favored. Thank You God for all of your blessings. Patience. I find patience when I am quiet and still. Reflecting on God's Word, Will, and Purpose in my life. Thank You for giving me the opportunity to try again each and every day. Not my will but God's will be done. Glory to your name.
I am blessed to have to be at your place three days this week. What a blessing. I will look at any and every encounter as a blessing. Lord I confess my faults and my offenses, my sins, my misdeeds. Lord I pray for healing and a chance to restore the spiritual tone of my mind and my heart. Forgive me of my sins. Prepare me Lord. Prepare my heart.
I brought my dad to church yesterday. I thought he would try to sleep but he was awake and listening. I think I will bring him on Christmas Eve. I think your message touched him. It touched me. You did a wonderful job. I will be purchasing a sleeping bag for you. I like to get people things that they ask for. I don't like guessing. Your heart is good.

Love one another, as I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. John 13:34


I will walk in love towards you, my family and friends and those in need.

Hello

How are you? I miss not talking to you. I want to know what you think is my problem. What do you want me to do. I know you have an idea. Say it. Today was a busy day. I had breakfast with Santa. Got a glimpse of you this morning. Then I went to watch my middle school boys play in a basketball tournament. They lost but it was a good game. Then I went home and did a little shopping. Got ready and went back to the same place I was in that morning. Got to see and speak to you then. Then nothing. You did walk/run by me later in the evening. Should I have grabbed your hand. Followed you out. Found a reason or even no reason, just to close to you. Yes, I should have. Yes, I should follow you around. I should stay close to you. I should at least spend five good minutes with you. Quality time not quantity. Long lingering time.

My Purpose

Father God I continue to lift you up and magnify your name. I pray that in my worship I will find my purpose. Lord I pray for families that are separated. Families that may have members in the armed forces. Preserve their marriage, cause the hearts of each member in the family to turn toward the other. I plead the blood of Jesus over our troops and their families. I plead the blood over any support system that will uplift, under gird and edify those who have been left to raise children and take care of families. Lord allow them to show wisdom in their decisions. Comfort the lonely and strengthen the weary. Lord I pray for the families that are hurting today. That have heavy hearts and minds. I believe that I have a role. Am I Jacob, the trickster,who hs stolen blessings and is constantly on the run. Am I Leah, the mishandled second choice, who later is revered. Am I Rachel, longing for and wanting her true love and waiting, not able to provide the king heir. I see myself in all of them. I am not perfect. I pray that I have the strength nd courage to walk into my purpose. I commit myself to God's Will in my life. I desire to do the right thing.

My Name

Judith means "Praise or Jewess". It is the feminine form of Judah. Judith in the old testament is one of the wives of Esau. Judith is considered a parable. She is a widow who rescues her people by cutting of the head of the ruler who has come to take over her peoples land. Its very tragic and often depicted with her holding the head of Holphernes. She is shown to have great courage in a time of enormous risks.

I feel like I have to do something important to save my people.

I left tonight confused. I dont know where to begin on my confusion so I will struggle with it tonight. Be blessed and be a true blessing.

Personal Prayer

Lord I pray for all of those people who did not or could not pray for themselves this morning. I hold them in my heart as partakers and sharers of God's grace and mercy. Spiritual blessings and unmerciful favor. Father God you are my witness that I long for and pursue them with love. I pray for greater depths of acquaintances and fuller and richer conversations. I pray that I learn to sense what is vital. I commit myself to you God, anew and with new responsibility. I pray for our congregation today. For its fullness and growth. I pray for commitment, dedication and love. I know the wait is forever and ever and ever.

Preferences

The only preferences I have today is that I please God. I have two formal observations today and I am concerned. One is a reschedule and I have one that is scheduled. I pray Lord that I am not stressed and that I am prepared as well as I can be. Let my students be safe and controlled around me. Let me be knowledgeable of their expectations. Let it just pass. The only preference I have is to accept the way things are and to move on.

I Take Nothing For Granted

One of my eighth grade students is missing. She cut school yesterday and has not returned home. We suspect she is embarrassed to face her papa. She is Hispanic and the family is very close. She's usually a very good girl. She might be pregnant. She's obviously with someone who is probably older and doesn't go to school either.Where ever she is its someplace that the other person is able to move about freely. I pray that that's the scenario, or something like that. I don't want it to be worse. It seems that every yea I have students pregnant, in jail, dropping out in eighth grade, all of those things that find inappropriate for these young people. What do you think? How was your day? I pray the pain is reduced and almost over. Now you have to find out what kind they are and what you are eating to cause them. This can be conquered. Its not over.

Hello Darling

Get Your INHERITANCE. I am entitled. I have a right. I have a blessing. My character is so important. We have been working on character analysis and traits in class. Character is defined as how one looks, acts, thinks, and speaks. That's the simple version. That God for you. You dont have to listen to everything the doctor tells you but you dont have the right to ignore their advice. Drink more water, find out what's the problem. Be strong and loving. It takes a real man to reinvest in his health and know that you are not just doing it for you but for me. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

What's Your Drug of choice?

Is it food, TV, relationship, shopping, exercise. Its not always a drug drug. Just about anything can and does perform the function of a drug in our lives. The trouble is we dont often know when we are under the influence and when we do know sometimes we dont care. I'm praying that you have a pain free night. I pray that you are well and know that you are loved very much.

Soapbox

Oh My God. Here I am saying silly things and you are sick. I didnt even know anything until you told me today. Oh my God, please, please, please take the pain meds. That helps your body relax so you can actually pass the stone. Drink tons of water (something you need to do more of ) Of course I got home and looked up everything I could find out about kidney stones. What were you doing preaching today. I was very glad to see you but so sorry to see you in so much pain.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/tutorials/kidneystones/htm/_no_50_no_0.htm
Go to this website and find out some more about kidney stones.
I will continue to pray that you are better. I love you. Not never but when. If not no.I believe it will happen. Somehow some way.

Gifts and Entitlements

"You dont know what you've got 'til it's gone"
God knows everything that we fail to appreciate. From the biggest to the smallest of things. Just waking up and getting out of bed is a blessing. Dressing ourselves and being able to speak to one another. Just the basic functions of our day to day lives. But let some illness or just simple aging begin to hamper our daily routine and then we begin to savor the times when we could do the simple things. We don't know what we have until its gone. Let us not take anything for granted. We are not entitled to another minute here on earth. Be grateful for what life has to offer. Find enjoyment in everyting that you do. I took the bull by the horns today and collected all of my stuff for NBC (that's what I will call the National Boards from now on). I went to the library, got a quiet study room, spread it all out, then I stayed for about four hours. I got a lot done. Mostly just being able to spread it out together and then to organize it. I feel so much better about my progress. I do not take the gift of life lightly. I do not take you for granted. Be Blessed today and be a blessing to someone special.

I wish I had His Enthusiam

Wash

Good Morning, Good Morning. Thank You Lord for another day. Yesterday wasn't too bad, no arguments, just another day. Today I will wash clothes and write. No shopping for me. I don't have the cash to do it anyway. I will not buy into the fact that I need to own something today from the shops. If I am to live within my means then going out and spending hundreds of dollars today is not within my means. I will value the things I already have and adjust my thinking to prioritize my spending. Most of the time when you buy gifts, people don't want them or like them. That's why I give cash to the few people who actually get a present from me. That's what they want so they can chose their own gift. A card and cash. I have never had a complaint yet.

I hate the idea of washing clothes today. Our dryer went out and we will have to replace it. But in the mean time we still have to wash and dry so I have to go to the laundromat. What a chore. I tried washing at home and taking them to the dryers only but that is a pain since we only have one washer at home. So I am faced with doing the entire washing and drying at the laundry mat. Lugging the clothes to the car. Dragging them from the car. Hovering over the machines to make sure its doing what its suppose to do. Pretending that you are so interested in the workings of the washing machine so that you don't have to talk to anyone there. Making the mistake of catching someones eye and then they want to start talking. I think I just have a face that just says talk to me. Someone always does and I always respond kindly and attentively as if what ever they are talking about is the most important thing in my life right now. After the wash then its the dance of getting an dryer for all of your loads. Trying to get a dryer so you can then begin to fold, fold, fold, and fold. Then lug the clean clothes back to the car, back in the house and finally its done, until the next time. This time I have to wash my clothes and my dad's. I want to do it early and just get it over with. Resolve this problem now. Don't procrastinate. Go early and get back early. Be happy I have the soap and stuff that I need. Know that I can do this with ease. I'm pumping myself up for the task. OK, I'm ready, my pictures put things into perspective for me. Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone. Don't spend too much money. I love you.

What Am I Thankful For

I am thankful for having someone to love.
I am thankful that I am able to make decisions for myself.
My word of the day is resolve. Resolve means to solve or settle differences, to make a firm decision, to state formally in a resolution.
To have great determination. As it orginates from the Latin, to untie, to have resolve is to be willing to disentangle and free myself from forces that oppose my decision. Even if I am struggling with myself.
I am thankful that I can strengthen my resolve. I can still work harder. I am thankful that God still loves me even after my mess ups.
I'm thankful that even though I lost loved ones this year, I was able to enjoy them while they were here.
I'm thankful that I have a job that allows me to meet my financial obligations. There was a time when that wasnt so.
I look back over my life and realize that God has brought me a long way. I may not be where I want to be but I am not where I was.
I'm thankful that my girls are healthy and working. They are supportive of the community that they live in, they have jobs and seem to be well rounded, loving people. I would only want them to go to church more. But I am thankful that I am not visiting a jail or hospital this year.
I pray for the ones who are visiting hospitals, jails and maybe are just alone. I know that we will not have people over. We will just be be six people who are in a house together. I know what the isolation is like when you are not fellowshipping with your family. We are living separate lives. We will cook different parts of the meal in the kitchen at different times. My mom and I arent talking again. My daughter and mom will do most of the talking to each other. My daughter and I are talking. My dad does almost no talking. My brother is sleeping due to his work schedule so he is not available till late. We dont sit down to eat together. We all go to our respective places, rooms or whatever. I usedto cook a huge meal bu this year I will not. With my other daughter gone, my brother's diet has drastically changed after his heart attack and diabetes scare, my dad doesnt need or even eat large amounts of food, its just a waste to make lots of food. That sounds so depressing. Its not that bad really. Just adjusting to a new way of living healthier and lighter.I am thankful that I have four days to work on my portfolio. This National Board is no joke. Meetings every week. Writing asignments. More meetings. Videotaping lessons. Let us not forget the fact that I still have a respondsibility as a teacher to prepare for my classes as well. This is above and beyond the regular, required and routine of my job. Thank You God for giving me the opportunity to do something so wonderful and reflective of my own teaching and style.
I am thankful that God has given me the opportunity to find out who I am and what I amcapable of doing. Stretch me, mold me, give me an opportunity to expand, learn and explore. I pray that you are with people who you love today. I know you will have lots of company. I dont worry about you being alone since you have lots of contact and friends who have invited you to join with them. Be blessed today and know that you are loved very much.

The Challenge of Just Being Me

Just being who God made us to be is a challenge. When we try to live out the script of our lives we are forced to flip that script. Many things confront us and try to oppress our spirit and work against us. But our own inner desire for freedom gets stronger and stronger where we are at the point that we wont be forced into anything that is not of God. Do we allow ourselves to just be? Do we feel in sync with our destiny and circumstances? Are we continuing the quest for freedom, freedom to show us how to be and how to live, and how to stay courageous. I pray and confess that your word watches over me. I pray that I am a disciple of Christ and that I am obedient. I pray that the words in my heart honor, give esteem and value to our relationship which is more precious to me than jewels and gold.Father God you are aware of that which concerns me. You know the thoughts and concerns in my heart before I speak them. I am committed to you. I guard our relationship because you are more than enough. Lord I choose to obey your voice, I choose to love you. I choose to be driven towards this relationship. Why cant we spend Thanksgiving together? In my heart and my mind I will pray on that. Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone.

Your Word is Full of Power

I thank you for giving me a spirit of power, and of love and of a calm and well balanced mind, and discipline and self-control. I thank you for empowering me to stay focused and concerned. I equip myself for success and I am willing and ready to help any and everyone who needs it. I didn't even remember the befriend a family for the Thanksgiving meal. I haven't had a chance to get a bulletin in weeks, but today I did. Now I don't believe in giving excuses for me not doing something or for me doing something. Sometimes you just have to be able to see life ahead and say that life is a mystery and a lot of it will not be explained to us. We try to explain everything with words. Words have been our way to explain everything that touches our hearts and our mind. Words speak to our heart, but its not the only way to communicate. As Mary Poppins says, "First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear; I never explain anything." Words.
I pray that we are able to help the poor and disenfranchised to the point that they are not constantly portrayed as "those" people. Why do the rich feel they have to have some benefit or charity to help the poor. Why cant we have a standard of living that uplifts us all. How rich does one have to be? Why cant we pull our lowest up to a comfortable, honest living wage?
I do believe that its not too late. I believe that we have hope for ourselves. As James says, faith without works is dead. Be blessed tonight and be a blessing to someone.

I Am With You Always

Father God in the name of Jesus we approach your throne with worship. We recognize that grieving is a human emotional process and that we must give people space to enter into the rest that you have for them. We can support them and let them know that they are not alone. The sorrow and pain hat is felt during this grieving period lets us know that we are human and we can love. Give us discernment and sympathy to understand the burdens that are there. Allow us to respect the decisions that are made while going through their loss. Father God I make a commitment to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. I will share their joy and share their sorrow. I pray that my love will be a comfort and encouragement to refresh the heart of my loved one. Thank You Father God for sending your Holy Spirit to comfort us during our grief.
Isaiah 43:2-4
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze for I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior, I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you.

How Are You Today?

If you don't care about the answer, don't ask the question. Perfect strangers ask how are you today and really don't want to know the answer. Your friends and family are sometimes the same. I want to know how are you today? Really, how are you today. I really care about the answer. I care what concerns you. I am sincere in my concern for you. Maybe I'm going about it the wrong way. Well now that I have said that of course I'm going about it the wrong way. I want to get it right. I want to get it right. I love you. Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone.

I Love You

Dont forget that I love you. Thirty days of love and demonstration. Make that forty days. Forty days to show love to you daily. Lets make that happen. I love you.

My Personal Greatness

Thank You so much for today. You put a lot of things in to perspective. You were on fire today. I cant wait to listen to your sermon in the car during my many hours of travel this week. I'm invograted and excited about everything you said. Not just because I'm chasing a two year old. I told him that we were going to church to see you and he said 'will he play swords with me' I said no, he's going to be busy, so he said well lets call him and ask him. I dont know, you may have a play date coming your way. :)
What a day. God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Be Blessed and be a blessing to someone.

Good Night

The Night Of Worship was good. It is always nice to have the time to think about our spirituality and to spend time in the presence of God.
Spirituality without discipline is nothing but a hobby. So we should find a way to ritualize our connection to the spirit world-Geoffrey Menin
We have to remember that everyone wants to be closer to God. No one wants to really imagine that they are not close to God. W have time to ponder the spiritual question, time to think about our relationship with God and our happiness. Most of us are not up at dawn feeding chickens or chopping wood. We don't have to plow the fields and do a lot of manual labor before noon. We have the use of technology to help relieve some of the stress of today. So when we spend time in worship or spend time with God we are blessed.
Blessed that we can take the time to do just that, worship. What a luxury.
You looked very handsome tonight.
Be blessed and be a blessing.

The Human Face

Think about a face that is smiling and warm and welcoming. Think about the person that makes you smile. Isnt a smiling face so much more comforting than a frown. A frown sounds and feels just sad. Yes there's a lot of reasons to frown and worry but dont forget to smile and know that you are helping others who otherwise wouldnt have anyone on their side. Smile. You are doing a good thing. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special.
What's the use of crying, you'll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile.
Light up your face. Put sunshine in your heart. Smile.

Report Card Pickup Day

Today I ask God to bless the teachers that have to deal with irate parents. Parents who were not there for their child during the first quarter but want to be belligerent now. I pray for a peaceful day and a day of building partnerships with the parents. I pray for working parent phone numbers and parents who will become more involved. I pray for a parent volunteer in the classroom. At least one. I pray for someone to pay for their child's science board today.
Father God I pray for safety for all of our children today. I thank you for watching over them today. Your Word protects them and allows us to dwell in the secret place of the Most High. I remain stable and fixed in the shadow of the Almighty. Father God you are my refuge and my fortress. No evil shall befall me, no accident shall overtake me, no type of disaster or calamity shall come near me, my home, my school, or my faith community. Your angels have special charge over me, they accompany me wherever I go and defend me from every enemy. Father God you are my confidence. I stand firm and strong in your safety. I walk on my journey with my heart firmly fixed on you.
God I want to be used by you. I don't want to believe that nothing will ever change and that I can't get excited about anything good happening. I don't believe God brought me this far to leave me. I am still here so there must be more that I can do. Keep my mind and my attitude firmly planted and rooted on God's Word and remember, Don't Quit! Don't Give Up! It's Not Too Late! I won't Give Up! I won't Stop Trying To Get To Where God Wants Me to Be! Don't Give Up On Me and I won't Give Up On You!

Bitterness

Why is it that some people assume that you know exactly what is on their minds and that you know exactly why they hate you?
I asked God this question and he sent me to 1 Samuel 19. Saul's hostile feelings toward David are unwarranted. I know I am not perfect but sometimes I am suppose to know things and I just don't. Now I find out that I was suppose to ask my mother to attend my aunt's funeral, I was suppose to drive her there and then invite her to stay for the repast dinner. I asked my brother if he was taking her, he said yes. I should not have to ask her to attend my aunt, her sister in law's (ex) funeral.I did not solidify the relationship between her and my aunt. Why must I be responsible for her getting to the funeral when she barely talks to me. She doesn't say more than ten words to me during the week. Probably five words. I don't have a good relationship with my mother. We do so much better when we are far apart from each other. Far apart, for long, long, long periods of time. I don't like to complain but when she starts an argument with me about something that happened weeks ago, I just have to vent somewhere.

Individual Growth

We are individuals who mutually depend on each other. We have gifts, talents and qualities that differ greatly. Our likeness will come from our reflection of God. As individuals we reflect God in many different ways. Through our vast array of talents and gifts we are able to unite as one and show that God is in our spirit, mind and body. In everything that we think, do and feel. Yet we are individuals and we are unique.

My plans have been changed for today. I have to be on standby to pick my daughter up from the airport. She returns from visiting her dad. She takes the baby out there so he can know his grandfather but it puts a strain on me because of the status of the flight.

Today is the African conference and you will be there. Probably tanned and relaxed. I bought a ticket too. I will miss not seeing you today.

Be blessed and be a blessing. I'm sure it will be a great success today.

Blessed Unity

Psalm 133
How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity

I think about the spiritual refreshing of the mind and body and the moral accountability that I have to my fellow human being. Together we sustain each other and together we live in harmony and pray for each other. We have many chances to be united with each other. Sometimes we choose the one that surrounds us with warm Christian fellowship and some times we dont. We tread lightly now, knowing that we have over come one hurdle but have many more to come. But Blessed Unity is possible. It really is. Unity for us and for all of mankind. Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone.

The Finish Line

Well the race is over. The votes will be counted and we will know in the morning. Its been tough. The highs have been good and the lows have been very very low. We are walking in history right now, win or lose, this is monumental. Huge voter turnout in the 80 percent and more. People willing to wait in long lines to have their vote count. Rock That Vote!
I pray that God will allow the best man to win. The man who will take care and concern with the poor and working class. Give us a break. It seems as if the last two elections have been stolen in one form or another so this one just cant go the same route. If it does then there will be huge problems in this country. Are we so bent on destroying ourselves that we cant take a chance on something new and different. What if God is speaking to us and we arent listening? I thank God for the fact that through Jesus Christ we can cll on Him and he will answer. He is our Personal Plan. Our Savior. Our King, Our Counselor. I pray that I answer the call when God speaks to me.

Unity Sunday

Thank you Lord for such a wonderful day. Church was very musical. The music was really good. The praise and worship was a tribute to you God. Thank You for doing everything possible to allow us to worship you. There was a pretty good size crowd at church today. I pray that the offerings are up this week. The best part of my day was the end. It was so nice to hear your voice and to know that you were listening. I always believe that you listen when you are away, if you have the chance. Sometimes the ocean will call and you just have to answer. pray that you have rested and renewed your mind and body. I'm very happy that you had a chance to get away because you have been working very hard. I am blessed to know you. Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone special. Thank you for my blessing today.

The Love Dare

Today God tricked me. It was really quite clever. I had to take my daughter to the airport for her seasonal trip to Idaho. After waiting and finding that she did manage to get on the plane, I headed back home. I decided to go see a movie. Spontaneously I made this decision. I hadn't looked at any schedules, I didn't even know what the new movies were. So when I got to the theatre, I just picked whatever was available at the time. There were two movies, Quarantine and Fireproof. Since I know a little about the other movie, Quarantine, that it was about zombies or something to do with horror, which I don't like, I opted for the other which I had heard nothing about. I read the synopsis and it sounded OK, nice way to spend a couple of hours. Nothing to deep, maybe even lighthearted. It turned out to be a christian movie and it was about marriage. I thought it was going to be predictable and boring, but it wasn't. The Love Dare Journal was what peeked my interest. The movie touched my heart. Incredibly enough I left wanting to know more about the Love Dare Journal. How to save a marriage. How to understand the nature of true unconditional love. The covenant of marriage and how it is a bond not to be broken. God was teaching me today and I was a reluctant learner but I came out of that a much wiser person. Thank You Lord for still loving me enough to want to teach me something. I knew that the initial things I saw in this movie was that it was a evangelical traditional right wing christian movie. There were elements of that in the movie, I can definately see where the target audience, young, white, middle class, would find it inspirational as well. I found that it reached everyone. We all enjoyed it. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone. I have to read tomorrow and I have to practice.

Don't Underestimate the Power of Prayer

That's the message today. don't underestimate the power of your prayers. God hears our prayers. We may not feel like it but God works on his time not our time.
The baby woke up at three and didnt go bach to sleep until four thirty. I'm so glad I get that extra hour this weekend. I need coffee right now and lots of it. It looks like Starbucks will get sdome of my money today.
Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone.

In the Name of Jesus

There is power in that name. In Jesus' Name. Find te Power and Authority in that name. Have faith to believe whatsoever you pray for, in Jesus Name you shall have it. Certainly Jesus' name carries authority. Every knee shall bow and every tongue must confess. Have a wonderfully blessed day today and be a blessing to someone. I love you. I pray expecting to have my request granted. I expect God to hear my prayers.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. today is a wonderful day. I am blessed just to be here another day. I know that greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. I am reminded that Jesus took to sting out of death. we have the victory. Satan is a liar and he has been defeated. In my life, God is in control. So I don't get to walk around with the doubtful expression that "its OK under the circumstances" Jesus defeated Satan and we are victorious. Jesus turned it around and gave the victory to us. We are overcomers.

I voted yesterday and it took about an hour and fifteen minutes. I'm glad I did it but I think the lines on Tuesday are going to be great in some places. I imagine there will be an increase in all locations.

I pray that you are well and relaxed. I hope you are enjoying yourself. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone today.

Good Night

Sometimes we just have to wonder what the heck is wrong with some people. I hoped against hope that the boy was still alive. Maybe he had taken him somewhere and let him go, maybe, just maybe. But then to the hurt and dismay of us all, he was found dead. Not by a stranger but by someone who was suppose to protect him and love him and care for him. Now just as I think I am removed from this I go to my cohort meeting and find out that the boy went to that school. News media and grief counselors filled the school for most of the day. None of them were there when I got there but the buzz was going on about what had happened.
God is still in control. This calls for all of your strength and faith. This is a family devastated by a tragedy at the hands of a supposed love one. Its so sad. Three lives ended and another one wasted to a life in prison. God is still in control.

Early, Early Day

Today I went to the 8:30 service thinking Iwould have time to worship, grocery shop, and get back in time to do some actual work on my portfolio before I was too tired. Of course that all was contigent on the little one taking his nap when we got home. But oh no, he took a small nap on the way home, 30 minutes max, and he was up for the afternoon. I had to wait till his mommy got home so she could entertain him. I still managed to get started by 6pm. Its 8:17 now and I have managed to get something done.

Thank You God. Thank you for such a wonderful day. I could express how I was blessed at the 8:30. It was a good sermon. They sung one of my favorite songs. "I love the Lord,He heard My Cry". Bake sale after church. Got a parking spot in the lot.
I have not figured out how to add pictures. It probably requires reading something and following directions. Oh Well. God will guide me.

I pray that my actions stay consistent with my beliefs. I thank God for another day. Allowing me to worship Him, I shall praise Him forever, and ever and ever. What if I had the opportunity to see Jesus here on earth, what would I say, what would I feel? What would He say to me? How would that encounter change my life? Do I prepare and believe that he will return? I pray that I make god's values my values.

Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone.

Praise the Lord its done! Ihave posted and imported my journal.
Bali is very nice. I like the idea of a serene place.
I will honor God by believieng his word for me. I will honor him by magnifying his word and speak of his goodness and mercy in my life. I honor God when I speak of Him. Continual praise is in my heart, my mind and on my lips.

Last night the "Pocketbook Monologues" spoke to many of the women in that place. The resounding theme was of someone being used. Used for another persons desires and personal pleasure. Using someone you love, or say you love, to satisfy your desires without considering the other person. Don't awake love until its mature and ready. Love is patient and love is kind.

Song of Songs 3 offers insight into the insecurities but it also shows us the public display and the the affirmation of love. The day of his wedding. The public and private day of commitment.
Bless the Lord at all times. May his praises continually be in my mouth.
God bless you today and may you be a blessing to someone.

The Promises of God

The promises of God are Yes!

Sometimes I have trouble believing his promises include me, but they do. I agree with mentally, I know God is Able, I know he is a Savior but can I fully and completely trust him for my life? What do I do when my mind staggers on the promise? I continue to meditate on the Word. I reflect on the promises. I think about how God has been in my life before and continues to be in my life now. I recall the blessings of the Lord. I remember the abundance that is possible. I know he has saved me, blessed me and continues to bless me. Trust Him. When I think about all that God has done for me and others in my life I dont find it hard to believe again. I can be a living example of Love. Don't ever take that for granted. Rejoice in the Lord when others have things go right in their lives. Teach me to talk in love to be patient and tender. Let me meditate on that vision of God's Promise in my life. Let me have a picture in my mind's eye. Let me keep concrete visions so that some day actually becomes one day and this day. Today I focus on God's promise being reality in my life, it will happen. God keeps His promise. I believe that. I trust Him to want to keep his promise to me. I am important, special and loved. I am the apple of his eye. God loves me. Be blessed today and be a blessing of love to someone.

No Burdens

 

God's love is such that we should want to do his commandments.  It should not be because we have to but because we want to.We should want to please God. God wants us to love one another and forgive one another. Without love there will be no joy and the joy of the Lord is our strength. God knows what it takes for us to love and forgive in this world. Without God its impossible to be successful. So where does doubt come in

Psalm 73 show us contradictions between what we believe and what we experience. We believe God loves us and protects us but then we see those who are prospering and healthy and God is the furthest from their minds. But Lord I know that you hold me and keep me. I know the fate of those that dont keep your word. I struggle with my own inability to stay on the straight and narrow. I dont pointthe finger and say look at them or look at me, I am not boastful or prideful. I struggle with the best of them.  My flesh is physical and my heart will one day stop but my joy is that I will be in heaven one day with you. I pray that I continue to seek God and pray Gods prayers, meditate on the Word of God and stay faithful to God.that is my desire and I pray that it is not a burden.

Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone. It has blessed me to know and love you.

Press into the Word

The Holy spirit is speaking a word in my heart. Draw into a more intimate relationship. It's important for my survival. If I dont, I wont make it. If I do then I will be closer to a God that will pour out his love and blessings abundantly. Dont go from disaster to diaster, press into the Word. The Word is God. Know that spending time with God is getting to kow him better. He already knows me. Let the Word dominate my thoughts and my feelings. Press In to a closer relationship. Have a blessed day and be a blessing to someone.

 

Don't Hesitate

Praise the Lord this wonderful and glorious morning. Dont hesitate to do something that God told you to do. Being indecivise all the time creates an unstable and unreliable person. Uncertainty rules the way you think, feel and how you decide to make any decision. Receive the man of God in your life. Trust God to know that who ever He sends in your life, is a man of God.  Receive who God has sent to you.

Who am I to judge a servant of God? Receive the servant as if it were Jesus himself. Dont let criticism hold back the annointing of God. People are going to talk. Opposition from the outside is inevitable.

When the enemies come against you to tear you down, they start off small and in seeing that your faith is strong and your continued working towards a goal have not faltered, then they decide to bring out the heavy stuff. But GOD knows our heart and when we stand to rebuild the wall, to reestablish the love and communication, then God is with us. If God is with us then who can be against us. I love the fact that I have to remind my self to let someone else take care of me for a change. What does that feel like.? I dont know but I'm sure going to find out.

Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone.

Change is Coming

I ask God to help me be more open and flexible to the changes that he desires to bring about in my life. Teach me to be more flexible, harden not my heart. Show me the things that I needed to have been least rigid about.  Help me have a new perspective, new excitement for the future and the ability to calm my nerves when there is uncertainty.

When it is the "first of the first" of anything, there is always apprehension.As I meditate on the word I find solace. We don't know what the future holds but we do know a change is coming. If we are able to speak what is in our hearts and be truthful that change is necessary then we are able to embrace and welcome change. Speak the Truth. Let your heart be your guide. God will put the words in your mouth. I ask God to allow me to be flexible, loving and consistent. Allow me to bring about the desires that he has for me in my life. Let me do the desires of God's heart.

I pray for a safe journey for you. I am so happy to know that you are going to take some time off. I pray that you do rest and reflect. This has been a challenging two years since you were on vacation, a real vacation. A lot has hapened, your world is very different since you were there last. We need you to restore yourself and to love yourself. I need you to do that. I wish I was going with you, but who knows, one day that just might be the reality. With plenty of prayers, supplication, mercy and forgiveness, all things are possible. All things are possible for me, I believe that it can and will happen to me. I love you. Be blessed and be a huge blessing to someone else. 

Love and Respect

I really enjoyed to talk to noght. There was some really good dialogue that came out of it. Dont tolerate me. Tolerance is where I still despise you but I wont spew hate in your face. Love me, get to know me, respect me as a human being. Love me, respect me.

Don't Judge Me

 What am I doing to get rid of these stubborn problems that seem to be immune to everyday trials? I must go with the word. God's word in my life. My asking for what I want. My writing what's on my mind. I need you to know you are needed. I have to save this journal and send it to blogger.com. I guess that's where the new site is. I'm sorry for thinking I could do this differently. Let God be incontrol. Let God. Let Go. Take My Place. Do what needs to be done. Good night, be blessed and be a blessing.

Never Underestimate the Power Of Your Prayers

We are so desperately in need of God's guidance. If our children continue on the path that they have, at the end of this school year we could have over ninety children killed by gunfire. NINETY. That's just ridiculous. We have to do something, something better, something to make these children learn to talk to each other again. Most of us are overwhelmed by the problems and think that there is nothing we can do but pray. But prayers work. Action is also good. Faith without works is dead. Our prayers are powerful and we have to remember the power of prayer and the strength in believing in our prayers. We have to pray for those in authority, those who are dying and those doing the killings.

We cannot be a church that protest the killings and when the reality of a death occurs we cant turn our backs on the family and say no about the funeral in our church. Evidence of the horrible tragedy is around us every day. I don't want to be a church that just talks about the problem but doesn't really help the people involved. We must be doers of the Word.

I think that Jennifer Holiday and Jennifer Hudson say it best for me"...And I am telling you, I'm not going nowhere, your the best man I have ever known and I am staying, staying, staying, and you are going to love me..." On that note I will say goodnight.

Oh Well, Go Bears

At least we have the bragging rights to say we won one game.

Now to focus on another atheletic team to keep our minds off reality.

Put on Your Spiritual Armor

Its not a battle of flesh and blood but of the spirit.

We have to realize that blaming people and circumstances are not the way.

I have been consumed with what I see. It looks bleak but I have to remember that God is in the mix. God hears our prayers. God hears the prayers of his people. GOD IS.

So when I think I can come up with the solution, I have to ask, Is God in this or do I think I am in charge? Did I seek Him first, am I acting on His behalf? Did I ask God what to do? When I come against an obstacle do I ask God to fight the battle or do I take it on for myself? Am I pleased with the results? How's that been working for me lately? I know I love you, I love the Lord and I love me. I take my place with the faithful and I let God know that I love Him. I shall bless his name at all times.

Have a blessed afternoon and evening. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

 

"Hope is a waking dream." This is the process by which you are experiencing such growth. To slowly realize that we are not pawns in the great game of life; but have power to command the very elements to create our experiences now that is a dream that gives great hope for our future."

- Aristotle

The Root of It All

I will not hear that you think you are not loved and wanted. You are wanted so much more than you can ever know. We have come to far to give up now. How long, how much more of this, when, why, where. What is the problem. How do we resolve it? How is it that we still care? Because we do. I will never stop caring.

This is Disturbing

I wanted to give you this information last night but I didn't see you. I guess you were watching the debate.

I pray that I will be renewed with new found knowledge. Knowing that everything is going to be alright. Staying faithful and resourceful. Keep the faith. Believe in God and know that all things are in his hands.

Anyway, this was something my daughter told me about when she returned form visiting her friend at the campus of NYU in New York. She had to go to New York to find this out. Anyway on YouTube.com if you go to that website and do a search for Jay Stones you will get a few different viedos. Pick the one that has Response to...trick trick.

On this video are boys who are on the southside in someone's backyard, during the daytime firing off a gun, showing the gun and just acting like fool. She also told me that Austin's daddy was in in the video and sure enough, he is sticking his head in the video. Now what is it that you can do about this? I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE,  Probably nothing, but it was something that I wanted you to know about because these boys are in that neighborhood. Knowledge is power and I didnt want to be indifferent to this knowledge. My daughter said some of them have been to the ARK and that they also helped out with the Divine Restoration Project. Maybe you even recognize some of them. I just think this is disturbing. I think I copied and pasted the link here, so try this first, but you can find it at the site also.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvdgXCvl4o8

 

We are trying to rid the community of guns and reduce the violence and these boys, men really, they are all over 21, are out doing stupid stuff. To top it off they decided to put it on YOUTUBE!!! How disgusting. I believe that this father, this young man will either be behind bars or six feet under.  I think I want you to know. I dont want to say that I think its ok knowing and not telling someone else or trying to inform the community. Keeping Informed about whats going on out there.

Expectations

Expectations :

Let's throw some flour in the mix and make something happen.

I just found out that AOL Journals will be closing, disbanding, stopping on October 31.

There is suppose to be an alternative that they are looking at but no word yet.

That means I have to have another source for my communication.

I cant even make new entries now. 

 

Expectations

Lord I walk with the courage and knowledge that I can and will demand a better world for us. We do not have to take for granted that our children will die by their own hands. We know that if we don't help there will be no one to help. We cannot ignore what's going on in our world today. We also have to be confident that we can succeed.

We don't have to accept that our financial future is in the toilet. There are no guarantees about any industry. Retirement accounts are decreasing. The money that we have put into these accounts is dwindling. Our homes are jeopardized. I think, OK, I'm with Chase so its going to be OK. But who knows. You don't want to spend your days worrying about what's going to happen, but you don't want to have your head in the sand and find out that there was something you could have done. So we listen to the "experts". We try to discern what the advisors are saying and apply it to our life situation. My neighbors are selling their home. They have been here since we moved here ten years ago. Were they part of this mortgage meltdown? I don't know. Whatever is going on we have to keep our confidence about this situation. We cannot worry and worry and worry.  We have to be confident that we can overcome this crisis.

I have my dad who fell on Saturday while we were getting ready for the service. What was that all about. Now I have to check that out with doctor appointments and stuff. The chimney is leaking at his building. The tenet wants to move. That might be a good thing. I wonder should I sell or is this a bad time to do that. Is it my decision to sell? Would he want to go to a retirement settlement or stay with me? Can I continue to be a responsible caregiver Is it wearing me down? Will he continue to get worse? Is it bad to put them in a nursing home?

With all of this going on I still have to ask my self, have I lost sight of the positive things in my life? Have I looked at the stresses in my life and not the good things? Am I blinded by the stress and circumstances? I saw a report last week about Chicago beingthe number one city for stress. Lord I know that I have the courage and knowledge to demand more. I want your promises. I want your blessings. I love the fact that God can and will make a way. We just have to accept the way that the Lord makes for us and know that the world doesn't decide for us what is best. God knows what's best for us. God loves us.

Thank You

Thank You for taking the time to do my aunt's service. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and concern. Your showed caring and concern when you spoke about her. She was sick for a long time but she always wanted to hear your sermon. I was glad to know that she got a chance to be there on Sunday. Thank You for being there. I know it threw your schedule off but I thank you anyway. I know you went out of your way and I truly respect that and appreciate your efforts and trouble. The family is very grateful. I didn't know it was going to be all those acknowledgements. It is done now.

I have to get to church now. I'm excited about my future. With all the stress in my life I can still call on the Lord for guidance, hope and love. I need God today and I want to let him know that I need him today. I need him. I need you. Guide my path.

Hello

Thank God for new mercies every day. I Have been sick, under the weather, whatever you want to call it, I have not been feeling good for the last few days. I had no business coming today, Once you turn fifty everything begins to fall apart. I have to schedule a whole and complete physical now. Other stuff is going on. No matter, I believe it will all be just fine. I just couldn't miss this day since I have been absent from this journal since Tuesday. I have not been on the computer at all this week. I wanted to see you and interact, speak to, hug you.

You are so thoughtful to do all that you do for us. Having that speaker here today was truly a good thing. You have your finger on the pulse of this community. You listen to what people say and are aware of their needs. I'm very proud of you. You do so much for so many. Thank You for being you.

I take nothing for granted. I appreciate every moment, touch and encounter. I don't even assume that you are still reading this journal. I just hope and pray for something more each and every day. I don't take anything for granted and I never take you for granted. I am grateful for everything. Thank You Lord.

 

Today

Today I make amends with the fact that my daughter is leaving this Thursday. on her sister's birthday. We have been a close family and now she leaves with our prayers and thoughts with her. It will be alright, it will be alright. Good job, I guess, who knows what a good company is anymore. Good prospects for a promotion. Lord that is one thing that has been on my mind.

Had my first National Board meeting with my cohort yesterday. Three hours every Monday until May for sure and possibly June. What have I gotten myself into. This seems to be a huge amount of work. No wonder so many people don't do it.

Daddy's building has water coming in from the top and the bottom. I have to orchestrate the calling and setting up appointments to work on the building and viewing with insurance.  Cant travel their our normal route, roads are flooded. What to do, what to do. Do I try to go today or do I just go to bible study, stay in the city. Am I being neglectful of one, selfish of another because I desire to be with him tonight instead of worrying about that building. There's really little that I can do except look and even then I cant get on the roof. We need the expert up there.

Lord I am not complaining. I know we all have things that need to be done. Sometimes I feel less productive than I should. I know that you order our steps but sometimes .... with work also being a factor, I just feel overwhelmed. Most of the time I just do what I have to do and keep moving. If I sit and think about it then its  seems to be too much. But as I read Isaiah 45:12 and18 and 19-25. Our Lord created everything and wants us to inhabit this Earth. The  Lord did not say in vain Seek me, but seek me first and everything else will come second. Every knee will bow and every tongue shall confess that the Lord God Almighty Reigns. I put my trust in the Lord. Everything will work according to His perfect will.

I Miss You

I miss you.

I wont let you just walk away.

I miss you.

I will not let my dream go. I will not let you go through this alone. We hae so much to get through..

I'm Going to Be Alright!

Blessed be the Lord. I'm going to be alright. Don't you worry about me. I'm a winner in this situation for my life and health. Thank you Lord for keeping me on the right track. I believe that I have new mercies each and every day.

Unity Sunday I was rushing. Rushing to get to you. I made it and was able to participate in a powerful worship session. I tried to get a CD so I could savor it over the week in my car and it was sold out by the time I got there. I did get my ticket for November. Then I am blessed to see you are still out side. Mama T gets me before I can get you and just like that you are gone.

I don't want to be classified as some hurt woman who's afraid to love. I don't like that label. I bristle up when I think someone long ago did something that affects my love life now. I don't give him that power over me. I never knew love before. We never had love, we had something different. God says to love one another. This is the most important commandment. This is much different from what I had before. This is being truly open to someone else who is truly open to you and trusting them to love you, honor you and protect you just as you intention is to do the same for them. I am pressing forward to take hold of that which Christ has called me.

I know that I'm not crazy. I'm just making choices, for what ever reason, that are contrary to my heart's desire. Is it easier to not be with you that it is to be with you. I want you to be happy and to have the very best that God has to offer you. I want you to be at peace with your life. Restless about the more that God has for you. You have God's promise that you will succeed. I believe that I will be what God wants me to be. I know that God loves me and wants me to love myself even more. Believe in Him and I believe in you.

Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone special.,

 

Today

Today I plant positive seeds in my life. I know that we wrestle not with flesh and blood but with powers and principalities.Its not my battle its the Lord's battle. If we pray and band together we can defeat any opposition. Through faith and prayer we can change the atmosphere. We can believe in the power of prayer. Wake Up, lets make this world a better place. We can do this together. We can make it work. Spiritual Armor for Spiritual Warfare. We can do this. We must do this.

 

Today

Today I will rejoice in the Lord.

"I will sing of the Lord's great love forever, with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations" Psalm 89:1

Father God I unfold my past and put it in proper perspective. Those things that are behind I leave behind. I don't want my it to be my will, let it be God's will. I trust you Lord with all my heart and I lean not to my own understanding but to yours. I acknowledge that you Lord make my way straight. I cant do it without you. Whatever it takes I want to live in the new resurrection, the freshness of being alive and not dead, the renewing of my mind with Christ Jesus.

I don't know all that is to come or profess to say I understand everything that has happened in my past but I don know I am willing to work daily toward the day when I will finally be all that the Lord wants me to be. I want to devote all my energies to being in that race where I am pressing toward the end and I receive the The Lord, Our Father is calling me up to be. Because Christ Jesus died for me I will have the chance to reach that goal.

I am blessed today and everyday. I pray that in letting go of the past I am able to walk wholeheartedly in to my future with a renewed authority, power, privilege and right. I am a child of The Most High God.

Be extremely blessed today and be a blessing to some one.

I welcome all responses. 

Today

Today was a good day. Every day that I am here is a good day. I'm not ranting and raving about anything today. Today is a good day, Tomorrow I'm going to get up early and write in my journal.

Today

I believe God loves me but I wonder what he was thinking about me and the lesson  that I have to learn.  I am only human.  

I am arrogant(I just don't like a lot of people bothering me, I have so much on my plate, it just seems overwhelming sometimes, I just want to be left alone to recuperate but that never seems to happen, especially now that I have a little one in the house, his momma, my momma and poppa, my brother, and my other daughter (who's now leaving to go to Seattle), have low self-esteem (not too low though, I am high maintenance to a certain degree), bitter(about what???), angry(with who????), hate men(I really don't think I hate men, I believe I love them, a lot, I just haven't trusted my heart to them, but I am willing) , unwilling to let people get close(true, true, but for very good reasons, trust issues again, who doesn't learn from their mistakes), stubborn(I'm fifty years old, I have a right to be stubborn ) and disobedient (well I try to follow God's will) so I wonder , why bother with me, I know you are frustrated and tired, I heard it in your voice.

 Do yourself a favor and just give up, no one will think less of you, move on, take on a new hobby, get another pet, go on a beautiful wonderful vacation, but what ever you do don't wait on this messed up girl. I am at a loss.

I don't know what to say or do to make this better. I don't know how to fix it. We seem to go through the motions. Now we are just oblivious to one another. My heart jumps when you are near. Nothing has changed. We are farther apart than ever.

 What do we build on now? I suppose we can go back to the basics. The journal was a first, it seem to strengthen and define. Then tear down and divide.  We need to build up and no matter what find some peace. On the one had we say we want this we believe in this and we gotta have this, we need each other to make sense of the whole thing.

On the other hand its no talking, no communicating, no contact and we have nothing to show for our efforts but a desire. I dont want to leave an encounter with you where we are not talking and interacting. I want to acknowledge great respect and honor and love. I want a difference. I want to see more than what we have right now. I believe in trying again. But the try is just in words lately.

The time is running out. We have no promises on our future. Time is running out.

 What is in the past is in the past. there comes a moment when you decide that this is it and I am going to give it my all. No holdback, no assumptions, just give it what you have. Another encounter where we are not any closer than we were before the encounter. How does that happen? We are more focused on just going with the routine, not changing anything and keeping everything just the same. Dont mess with the status quo. From my heart, I want the change, I want the declaration, I want the challenge to love and be loved. From my mind, I keep believing that every encounter holds potential to be the new beginning.

Thank You Lord for Today

Thank you for another glorious and beautiful day. Whatever may come to day I welcome it. I welcome all who are part of my day., I pray for peace and understanding. No matter what happens, I thank God that I have another day to enjoy. My cup runneth over. I know that goodness and mercy follow me where ever I go today.  I welcome them in. Have a blessed and wonderful day today.

Hello Darling

I just feel like throwing caution to the wind and trying all over again. New day, new beginnings. Watching the DNC and the US Open. Grading science journals too. I have been listening to you in the car on my ride in and back.

God has blessed us with cool weather. The class is not too bad. We have detentions on Tuesday now and we had a prety full group today.

Be blessed tonight and be a blessing.

It's Not Over

This Day I know that its not over. No matter how it may look.

My dream is not dried up. I'm still cooking. I'm still waiting. My time is not God's time. Hang on in there. Keep the faith. There will be a change.

None of us are ever quite finished or ready the way we really would like to be.Where do we draw the line and say enough? How do we get on God's calendar for us? We keep the Faith and know that God will never leave us nor forsake us.

Hello

Hello Lord. I can understand why you require a day of rest. A day to keep our mind and thoughts only on you. Going to our house of worship to become renewed and rejuvenated to face this next week. I suppose if we allowed it to happen it would be work, work, work,24/7. I leave my job on Friday exhausted, repair the physical things on Saturday, and prepare the mental things on Sunday so that when Monday rolls around I have the basics that I need to not only survive another week but to be gloriously successful. Believing in a miracle everyday and rejoicing that I am able to conquer the slings and arrows that will not and do not succeed in taking me out this day. This day I am equip with the Word Of God. This day I am prepared with Faith. This day I am an overcomer. Let me prepare for my day in the house of worship.

Be Still My Heart

Praise God that today is almost over. I have spent this week in sheer and utter heat. The air conditioners are gone and we are sback in our little ovens on the third floor. I was just so nauseated and dizzy, because of the heat. We have to remember to dress appropriately for the weather.

Sometimes we travel the same road and sometimes we are on a different journey all together. We travel together so we can stay together. We stay close to each other, both inwardly and outwardly. We try to walk in love and walk as children of the Light. Bringing down the barriers.: Bring down the barriers and let us see one another and let us respect one another. Let us know that we are blessed to know each other and that we belong here, right now, today. God has blessed us and we have to thank Him for that blessing each and every day. I belong to the household of God and I know that I am blessed. I am blessed and highly favored.

Good Night

A new creation.

I love myself. I thank you God for allowing me to submit and adapt to your needs.

Thank You Father that I grow stronger each and every day. My love is founded on your word. I give you all the praise and glory each and every day.

Our love never fails.

Good Morning

Thank You God for the mundane. The ability to get up even when its difficult. Thank you for another day. I know that you cannot really know me unless I choose to share myself-give of myself-become a living sacrifice-Lord I give you my thoughts, my ideas, and my feelings. I lay down any and everything that inhibits a smooth flow of the Spirit in my life. I am always saying for give me, remember me, don't pass me by. I never stop wanting to be blessed. I know my blessing is good and filled with the mercy, kindness and love that I need.  Forgive me for being intolerant. Forgive me for being judgmental. Lord I call for an end to this division and to unite us. I pray for peace. Peace. I pray for love.

Grace and Mercy

 

Wednesday

Good Morning Today. Can I still miss you? Is it OK to want more?

I want a copy of that back to school CD. Please leave a copy with Mack so I can pick it up on Friday. Thank You.

Be blessed today and be a true blessing.

Sunday

When I sit back and think of all you have brought me through, I am amazed that I am still here. Just thinking about my life and the blessings that I have received I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Some of the little things that brought joy to my life. Some of the big things that seemed to be a disaster but then were blessngs in disguise. I wonder whats in store for me. If I keep doing the same thing I will keep getting the same results? What do we do when we fail? we keep getting up. We try again. We continue to believe that it is possible. It will happen. Will it really. What if it doesnt. Believe that it will.

Good Morning

Thank you Lord for another day. Your will be done in my life today. Thank you for your mercy today. You woke me up this morning and you have given me an opportunity to be the loving servant for your mission. Thank you for your blessings. I take nothing for granted. I want to be loved and to love. I believe in the God of second chances. God Bless you today and be a blessing to someone.

I thank God

I thank God that we were not hurt during the terrible storm last night.The winds were bad but we didnt have any damage to the house but you knew something was up because it sounded like something I had never heard before.

I thank God for everything that I have been blessed with. I have a grateful heart. Just how can I repay God for his goodness? I lift him up and magnify his name. I give all the glory to God.

Day Two of the saga at school. Things are going well. So far so good. We dont have nearly as many students as we did last year. The people are saying they arent coming back but I have heard that we may have a surge in September. I had one boy tell me he spent his summers at the ARK. I was so proud to know he was making a positive choice. I gave him a present. Praise God.

Three more days of class and then back to normal.

Why tell kids not to go to school? That just seems so stupid.

Good night and be blessed.

Hope for the Future

Here we go again. I have had another restless night. First day jitters. The anticipation and the the knowledge that I have absolutely no idea what to expect. I'm nervous and excited. I am overwhelmed with so much going on this week. I continue to hope and stay hopeful. Those who lose hope,lose faith and perish. God's faithful love is the basis for my faithful trust. I am pulled in so many directions and I feel depleted. Everyday is early mornings and late evenings. Once this week is over then the dust should settle and I will or at lest hope to be able to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. What do I say? I trust in the Lord.

Saturday

Dependable

Its important to be dependable. to have someone know they can rely on you. To trust you and you trust them. Be honest with yourself. Turn your fears over to God and let him comfort you.

Consider it pure joy when you face trials. According to James 1 testing of our faith will develop persevere. Maturity helps to develop us. "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial"

Blessed is the man.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

Saving and Healing

Hi

Today was my first day back in the system.

I had PD in the morning then a math classin the afternoon from 1-4.

We took a test that was the craziest thing. Praise God I dont have to teach that, but it gives me an idea of what my students go through when they get a test and they dont know as much as they think. I remembered some of it but it was a long time ago. I guess I'll learn how to do algebra again. Lord knows I think I forgot it for a reason, I dont use it and probably wont us it. Havent had to us it this long and I dont see a big rush for it later on in my life. Ten days of this stuff and I am already counting down.

I watered the grass today and feed it lawn food.  I spent an hour out there this evening. I was trying to soak the grass so that it wouldnt become too dry. Somebody had to do it.

I plan to attend all of the activities this week.Praise God for worship. Early morning, at night, whenever we can, let us worship. I'm tirednow, my first day and I am regretting the heck out of my vaction is over and I didnt travel like I wanted. Oh well.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

Hello

Hi. I am sorry I couldnt go down stairs. My little charge was very cranky and tired so I just took him to the car and headed home. I could only take so much.

Wonderful sermon today. I was blessed. I felt overwhelmed, challenged in many ways. I dont like to complain, I just keep on going.I have to let God fight my battles.

I'll have to listen to the sermon again. I am a victor and not a victim. The devil will not steal my blessing. This may be taking a long time but I I sure that favor and blessings are coming my way. I just keep praising and praising. I am not too busy for God. I will not lose my praise. Daily and continually I will praise him. Thank you Jesus. I dont forget, you are never too far from my heart and mind. Daily I praise God's goodness in my life. Be blessed and be a wonderful blessing to someone.

Busy Day

We keep moving closer and closer. Who would have thought it would be this difficult. What did you do today, participate in a panel discussion?

You have a busy day tomorrow. I pray for a huge turnout.

I'm staying committed, make this happen.

A Personal Prayer

...I commit myself to you...

 

 

Hi

Lord I have been trying to enter an entry for the past hour.

The first one refused to save.

Sometimes when that happens I think that maybe I wasnt suppose to say that.

Lord knows I wonder what to say and struggle to say appropriate and thoughtful things. If I cant touch your heart and mind then I need not say anything at all.Maybe I am taking too long so I will just say good night and God Bless you. Be a blessing to someone.

Thank You

Thank You Lord for everything.

I have so much to be thankful for.

Thank You for all that I am.

Thank you for today.

I feel rushed somewhat because this is my last week of vacation.

I have this to do list and I am trying to get things done as soon as possible.

How are you doing? What are you thinking about? This has been quite a summer for you so far. 2008 will definitely be a year to remember. Good and bad.

I have watched the Rikers Island High School. The Bloods and Crips Gang. Freedom Writers. Douglass High. anything that relates to high school children, young people in the big cities and how they are coping or not coping. One young boy said "its like the devil is just sitting on your shoulder every day" its so oppressive for them. They smoke all day, drink most of the day and just shoot for the heck of it. It gives them power.

The big thing now is that the older generation, us, we dont understand. Hasnt it been like that all the time. Every generation says that. There's the divide of the tweens and teens, the twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, and on and on. The gap continues to widen.

Overcoming weariness is a big thing. Be blessed tonight and try to be a blessing,.

New Day

I am so glad that I have not given up. I will not give up.

I don't say what I expect to happen. I love what ever happens now.

I am open to new and great.

I loved today. I was eager to see you and to hug you.

I'm excited about being around you.

I know that it cannot do anything be get better. I am expecting better.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

Bless the Lord

Praise the Lord. Put His Word continually on my lips.

Praise the Lord and Faith will rise up inside of me.

I speak of me and my spirit.

Great things happen when I continually praise the Lord.  I honor my God, my Lord.

 

Be Strong and Courageous

I am so sorry about all the wrong things that I have said or not said.

All the things that I have done or not done.

You are so use to people leaving, you expect it most of the time. I don't blame you, I usually expect the worst. But that is not true anymore. Don't believe in the negative stuff that may have happened before. Believe that something good is going to happen. Constantly reach for the highest expectations in every situation to happen to me each and every day. Believe in myself and believe in others. Don't believe that I will leave you because I wont. I'm like the devoted puppy unfortunately. As long as you show me attention, I'm there. So I will go through the line, I'll wait, I'll hug and I'll kiss because that's about all I have to look forward to right now. I have to make physical contact, I have to talk to you. No pressure. Just do it. Life is good.

Coming Together

How can you give up without even having a kiss? A real kiss. How can you know without a kiss.

How is it that disobedience is related to a hardening of the heart.

Obey God. Obey God. Do what God says to do.

Why wont I just let this go? I cant just keep wasting time. What makes this so different?

I Wonder

I just think it is  horrible what happened to that little girl.

I just cant believe she left the house with out someone prompting her. I believe it was another child. That girl was not a regular in that neighborhood and some children are very jealous. I believe a child enticed her out and maybe wanted revenge or something on this little girl. I think it was another child. She would not leave the house if she didnt know the person. Someone from the neighborhood. Somebody knows something and that somebody is a young person.

Now you have to get people to talk. Snitching. The code of the street is not to snitch. This is the hardest thing to break. That's why so many crimes go unsolved.

 

This is like a magnet

This is like a magnet now. Its like two polar opposites that attract..

Go away, go away, go away. come here, come here, come here.

Whats going on here. Just cant let it go.

Thank You Lord

Working for good.

Standing up for what's right.

Making peace with myself and the world.

Knowing my strengths and weaknesses.

See Yourself Strong

I just listened to yesterday's sermon and I made wonderful comments about it as I took notes on the sermon. None of that is here now. The sermon was inspirational, it was good.

I pushed the save button and vamos, it was gone. Just like that.

Words that can not be replaced in the same format and thoughts that are not the same.

I could listen again but not now.

Speak the words and have the faith to back them up.

Be radical enough to expect and demand something to happen. Dont just expect it to happen to you , make it happen.

Be the change that you want to see in the world. See yourself strong.

God will do what he said he will do. I believe in the promises that God has given me and I believe that he is able and willing. I'm not settling for junk in my life. Fakes and replacements will not do. I want the real thing.

Good Night and God  Bless.