Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Point of View

Its so interesting to see others point of view, especially when they are wrong.

If they want to go hunt and kill animals, go ahead, be my guest.

If you want to keep a gun in your house for your supposed protection, fine.

But when you have a supposedly perfectly honest citizen buying 100-500 guns in one month, that's just not right. What in the world does someone need 500 guns for? They are going to sell them. None of the teens who have been found with guns got them legally. None of the young people using guns purchased them legally. This is a deliberate influx of guns into the urban area. Deliberate.

But oh no we only see that people want to take away our 2nd amendment rights. We don't see senseless killing by senseless people. The guns didn't do, the people did. Well that argument didn't work with the alcohol group, the cigarette group or the fast food industry. Each of those industries are being held accountable for the destruction that they cause. The gun industry has yet to be held accountable. Its got too good of protection from the NRA and the people of power. I will continue to say when you can shoot a man in the face and say I'm sorry, nothing happens to you, this country is not working with a full deck. I hope he at least sent him flowers while in the hospital.

What a day. I know they said it would be hot but I don't think we were prepares for the heat. Don't get me started on those bus drivers.

I am preparing for tomorrow. My first day. My principal asked me to wear a lab coat to look more professional. I plan on having it embroidered too. I'm excited,

Guess what my room number is. OK, I'll tell you. Room 304. What was my room at Jenner...304. What was my room at Mason, you guessed it, 304. What is that all about. If I played the lottery I would play that number. I know I wont be able to sleep. I am always so excited onthe first day. Well thanks for the field trip, it was a blast. How can you possibly think that there is anyone else for me. There is not one person I am interested in who can make me smile the way you do. There is no one who I want to hear speak more than you, so do me a favor and know that itis today and always you. Just you, no one else but you. Good Night. 

Monday, August 27, 2007

Welcome Back

 

Well, where do I begin.

I guess first of all I am one of these people praying for the Olympics to come to Chicago. Yes I am praying for them to come. I think it will be great, I'm excited about the prospects of having such an international event so close to home. I will buy a ticket no matter what the cost. I will be there and I see promise for jobs and an improvement for the south side. I;m sure there are many things that can and will go wrong but I have weighed in on the positive for the olympics.

Domestic violence is never a positive. Its a swhame when two preachers are fighting in the parking lot of a hotel. What has the world come to.

Power can be good and bad. Too much power corrupts too many people. Balance the power, allow for modifications. Somebody has to lead and somebody has to follow. Everybody cant be the boss, somebody has to type and take messages. there's a lot there and I need to chew on that some more.

What an interesting concept about technology. I'm not surprised that it touched alot of people. Our world has us chained to email, computers and cell phones. If I leave my cell at home or miss a call then folks are upset. Most of the time its not anything important. In regards to this, I give up trying to figure it out. I just do and keep on doing. Its not for me to know,. It can be frustrating as heck and I will continue to question and wonder, but I will come back and do. What the heck is going on?

She's gott have it. I never saw the movie but the concept I heard about. Do you think that's me. I not able to be satisfied with one man. I dont think so. I think, and I think I am right about this, I think it could be very satisfying with one man. Especially the right man. Yes, you are the right man.Nobody else can do what you do,. Am I the right woman?  Let's just wait and see. Just wait, just wait.

What else is there. There was a lot. I'm tired and I will end now. I have a rally to attend tomorrow. Oh I am going to be the science teacher in my new position. Im excited about that. Good Night.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Hello Handsome

I wanted to wsay something today but i'm not saying anything until I hear what what your sermon was today. Its not online yet, why is that. We cant hear it live and it takes forever for it to go online. Whats up with that?!?

Friday, August 24, 2007

Too Sad

This week has been too sad. I have a funeral to attend on sunday so I wont be at church. Dont think that I dont want to be there., I do. I found a new job. I'm excited about it.

How much longer can I not talk to you. Help me out here.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The End

After much deliberation and lost of deep thinking, I have decided to end this journal. This was not an easy decision but one that must be done. I have had ridicule, contempt and heartache through the three years that I have written in this journal but I now fully realize that if I am to ever get to the next level I have to leave this level behind. I cannot keep "talking" to you here and not talking to you in person.

If it is going to happen then it has to happen naturally in person. This has become uninteresting and just wasteful. The things I have been writing are of no use to anyone. I don't even do the myspace or facebook stuff. I started looking at them because we were told that Obama has a facebook page. I don't want people in my life like that. I thought that when I started this journal no one would look at it because its just me, who am I.

 But lo and behold, you found it during your ramblings and it  became a connection. But the time has come to move on. This does more harm than good. Its not bringing me through my tough times and its definitely not bringing us closer together. How can I say here that I love you and not even look interested in person. What's up with that. From now on if I can't talk to you face to face then I wont talk to you in a one way journal.

I know that I am taking a chance of losing anything that we may have. But I have to take that chance. I don't feel good about this journal anymore. Its out lived its usefulness. I will not continue to be the crazy girl, laughing stock, weirdo girl who cant get a man. I know that many people know about my journal and I am not going to give them the satisfaction of me stressing daily with my whims and woes. I know that secretly most don't even want us to get together, it will ruin their position. I just have to step back and evaluate.

I hope you don't look at this as an ending but if you do then maybe that's what it needs to be. End this, so we can begin something new. No one or nothing has forced me to do this, I do it freely. I'm praying for something better.

Good-bye, adios, ciao. I keep it light but its very hard on me, but very necessary, I won't be starting a private journal, or drinking myself silly, smoking anything, or anything else. This is it. The End.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Saturday

Hello

Today I had to be tough, again. My daughter comes in tomorrow, at 12 noon. I was going to go to the early service but then I said I would go to 11:15 and just have her wait. Then I said I would just pick her up. Well now she asked her friend to pick her up and she can do it so I will be at 11:15. I feel like I have to fight to get to go to my preferred service. I desire to walk in love but sometimes I have to stand for me. Does that mean I dont love them, no. It's just that I have to be able to do the things that are important for me and church is important for me. Of course I could go to the 8:30 but its not the one that I need.  I can't do everything but what I can do, I will do.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Friday

Hello

Thank you.

I hope all is well.

I hope the building is going to be ok.

I know it can be fixed.

Everything can be fixed, its just the cost to fix it that becomes the problem. Everything can be fixed to some degree. Are we willing to pay that price. Whatever it is.

Be blessed tonight and be a blessing. Good Night.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Day Two

Day two has engernized me and I will be hosting an event. I plan to come back on Monday and Tuesday.

This is just the beginning. We are trying to plan an event and will try to raise some money.

Real Estate. Trying to refinance.

I pray that everything goes well. Stay focused and do your best. Make sure that everyone speaks the truth in the situation and that everyone deals truthfully.

Try to make time for what's important in your life. Take care and be blessed today.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Today was an interesting day.

The good- seeing my handsome today. What a treat. God blessed me today. Hello Handsome, happy to see you today.

The bad- the entire day was spent sitting listening to stuff. Talk, talk, talk. I love the fact that Obama is running and I will vote for him but today was just too much talk.

The ugly- finding out that we were expected to be there until almost 7pm. We had to walk over to the headquarters at 233 N Michigan from 300 W Adams. Nobody said anything about having to walk. Then to make matters worse, I had to walk back to Adams because my car was being held hostage for 25 dollars at the valet parking area. Needless to say the rain didn't help much either. But then I am a St Sabina warrior and I know about marching in the rain and having to endure horrible conditions so needless to say I will come back for the next day of training. But this time grasshopper will be smarter. I will take the train down. I will end my day at the location on Adams no matter what. I will try to stay until the end. I will have lots of coffee. Starbucks frappachino with espresso. But other than that it was a good day.

I have never been a part of a campaign. The hope is what fuels us on. I joined this because I want to make a change and I feel that he can do it. I'm so thrilled that you are on board with this campaign. I will have to call you to find out how you want us to help support the campaign at the church. I just like the idea of calling you. I was so happy to see you this morning. I was so not wanting to come this morning. Seeing you made it all worth it.,  I wonder if it makes you happy to see me sometimes. I know you are. That's just my insecurity talking. Don't listen to it.

Now I have to read three articles tonight for tomorrow and be ready to take the train and spend only 12 dollars round trip tomorrow. Ain't life grand.

Too top it off, I found out they will be returningon Sunday, possibly in the morning or early afternoon. I told her she would have to wait until I am done with church. I have to go to church, and the 11:15 service at that. All I need is for God to not give me a chance with one of these schools. What else could go wrong.  I pray for guidance.

Today God directed me to Micah 3 - How not to be a leader

Guard against using God's gifts for the wrong purpose. Guard our selves from be self deluded. As we watch the news and read newspapers pray against the evil that we see.

God bless you tonight, know that I love you and instead of being upset that I didn't hug you today or make a move of distinction, I will just give you love now as this seems to be the only avenue of true expression for me. Why is that Lord?

God bless you tonight and be a blessing today. Pray and praise God. Good Night Honey.

 

 

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Pleasing God Rather Than Men

In Jesus name I declare that I am free from the fear of man which brings a snare. There's always something more with man. I lean on, trust in, and put my confidence in You, I am safe and set on high., I rely on the God of all that is good and true. He is Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end, I take comfort and I am encouraged that The Lord is my Helper I will not be fearful and dread my life. What can man do to me that I must fear? I rely on God. Lord I know that you are with me and I will always seek to please you. Lord I need you in my life and I need you to step in and make some things happen.

What am I needing, I need this new position. I do want to be a teacher. I was asked what I really wanted to do and I had to think for a moment. What was I able to do and what will I do.

I will be at Camp Obama tomorrow. I will also be calling for interviews with the schools I saw on Friday. I went to Mason today to work on the art project. We will try to have it done by Friday. I have a options and I want to make the right choice. I love the Lord and I love you. Both of you are very complex.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

 

Monday, August 13, 2007

Change

Its interesting that God has you in a different environment. Someplace that is not the usual for you to preach. Do you ever wonder if God wants you to know that you can reach people with out the stain glass windows and padded seats. What's inside us is what's important. Touch our insides and we can reach the outside. Does this mean god helped you by protecting the congregation but He is also letting you see that you can have a great congregation outside of that sanctuary. Imagine the celebration when we are back in the sanctuary. Whether its one month or two. We can and will celebrate wherever we are. Don't worry. Easier said than done isn't it. Don't worry.

Hi

I wanted to say something to you and I went to my bible to find out how to say it.

Come back to me and I will come back to you. That's where I landed and that's what I have to say. Come back to me and I will come back to you. That's in Zechariah.

That's it.

Get my priorities straight.

Tomorrow I have to go back to Mason. The new principal will be there and I have to finish the arts integration project with the artist. He is back in town and wants to finish it up before the school year starts. That works for me because I want to be done with any obligations to Mason. I have continued to have this attitude that everything will be all right and I haven't been worried about a job but the reality is I should. What if I don't get hired by any of the schools I have spoken with? I should have been more aggressive. Now I am second guessing myself. I will continue to believe that it will be alright. I cant sweat it now. Everything will be just fine.

That's the one phrase we all have to remember. Everything will be just fine. Your jail stuff. Everything will be just fine. The structure of the building. Everything will be just fine. Any and everything that you are concerned about, everything will be just fine. Me, everythin will be just fine.

Have a good night and now I pray that you are able to sleep again because everything will be just fine. Be blessed and be a blessing. I love you.

Monday

God Morning Lord. Thank you for another wonderful beautiful day. Thank you for hearing my prayers and letting me have another chance at getting things right. Lord I pray for my congregation, my church family,my heart, my home. I pray that we are able to do what it is you want us to do. I pray that I come under submission to authority. I pray that I am willing and able to recognize and submit to authority. I commit myself to you Lord and I pray that I remain with you. Your will be done in my life.

God you know the things on my mind. My concerns that have been spoken and those that are still in my heart. I know that you are with us. You are protecting our path at every, every, step. I trust in you to guide me and protect me. I love you. I love you. I love you. Smile when you read that. Stop frowning and smile. Smile.

"If you just light up your face with gladness, hide every tace of sadness. Although a tear may be ever, ever so near. That's the time you must keep on trying, smile what's the use of crying, you'll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile, come on and smile." Charlie Chaplin, John Turner, Geoffrey Parsons  

 

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Good Night

Today was a good day. The service was great. Very heartfelt. The presence of God was there. I worry about you. You had the look of fear whenyou came in. You were nervouse and it showed big time. You mouth twitches when you get nervouse too. But praise the Lord, you praised your way through it and became the demanding and dynamic man that you are. You lead your congregation and they followed your lead. Thank you for following God's plan for your life today. There is so much foolishness that sometimes I think its all that matters but you bring me back to reality. Dont ever stop doing that.  You remind me that we are in love and in this crazy world that means something. Dont ever let me forget that. I need a vacation. I might take a short trip somewhere and just get away from it all. Get some rest and find a way to have some peace. All went well today and it will continue to be alright. Good Night. Be blessed.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. This is a new day and this is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice, Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Thank You God Almighty for today. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. We will speak goodness and wholeness in our lives today. We will not dwell on the unfairness in our lives. We know there is injustice but we are focused on the calmness of God. God knows what has occurred in our lives and God sees what is right and what is wrong. We will continue to be blessed and be a blessing for God. Thank you for your love and your grace. I ask God to give me a heart of love and patience. I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me. I am able to do. I will continue to believe.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Saturday Night

God help us. Here we are worried about miners in a cave in Utah. The space shuttle now has the same problem as the one that before. When do we learn from <SPAN id=sp-6 title=" amour, our, amours, Agoura, sour, aura, gaur" style="BACKGROUND: url(undefinedimages/bg_spellingErr.gif) yellow repeat-x left bottom; PADDING-BOTTOM: 2px; COLOR: #000" _backupTitle="null"> mistakes? I know we aren't perfect but do we ever stop making the same mistakes. Sometimes mistakes are just going to be made. I read the stories about these two incidents and the blogs that accompanied them. So many people seem to think that prayer doesn't work, isn't necessary, its of no use. I cant believe there are so many people who don't believe. Then I remember, I was one too. I still falter in my faith and it is a constant walk. But to read stuff where people are saying don't pray for the miners, don't pray for the space shuttle. That's just wrong.

Well enough of my wanderings. I didn't go to the party tonight. I will be at church tomorrow. Life is good. Thank You God for loving me.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Friday Night

Please forgive me for not being there tonight. I had every intention of being there. I had to take my daughter to the airport. She was going to Boise to visit her father. He had her on a standby ticket and everything was up in the air almost until the very end. She did leave though but her plane didn't leave until 7:55 and I didn't leave the airport until near that time. I was suppose to be their earlier but she didn't pack, we were stuck in traffic, everything that could go wrong did. Today just got the better of me. I am extremely excited that they will be gone for ten days. Today I went to the CPS career fair. There were some good prospects that I will follow up on next week. I have put out good information at many different places so I am looking forward to something good happening. I will stay prayerful.

I watched the 20/20 show about Pastor to the Presidents. I caught the last 20-30 minutes. I find it amazing that the Republicans have hijacked the notion of "faith". Democrats are associated with personalities of faith, but not "faith". Its interesting how the republicans have captured and kept the notion of "faith".

Have a good evening. I pray that tonight was a much better march than the one I saw on television with Al Sharpton. If he continues like that the people of power will take him and his people as a joke. It was a disgrace from what I saw. I pray that it will get better so that he can be effective.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special. I love you.

Friday

Good Morning Father God. I Thank You that you are loving and wise. You have kept me this far so I know that you can keep me through everything else that domes my way. Lord protect our sanctuary and allow us to worship you where ever we are. Let us know that you are God all by your self and that the mission that we have is to love you and worship you. I pray that our sanctuary is repaired and that all problems structurally and otherwise are identified and come to light so that they can be worked on fully. Leave no stone unturned when finding out the problem. Be thorough and complete. Let your presence reign supreme. Keep us calm and reassuring. Don't let the spirit of confusion and disorder take control. We are ready and willing to worship God in any building we are in. Lord watch over us today. The devil is busy trying to create disorder and confusion in our lives. Keep us safe and walking with you today and always.

Guide my steps today and place me with the right people, the right booth, the right school. Guide me through this process.

I pray for my children that they are not disappointed today. Let their minds be prepared for what ever comes their way today. Let the problems they are experiencing be erased and their lives find order and peace. Let love reign supreme today. Let miracles be the topic of today.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Thursday

 

Hope

God wants to know my concerns and frustrations. Let me tell God what has been making me impatient lately. I pray that God can make me a person who can wait. I pray for patience and guidance.

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The judge is standing at the door! James 5:7-9

 

So I stay hoepful and patient. How do I do that. See the humor in things. Be encouraging, not discouraging. Believe in happiness. Believe in miracles, not statistics. Be loving and generous and watch love and generosity fill my life in return. Allow myself to love others and to be loved by others. Allow others to express themselves without critism and fear. Hope goes hand in hand with joy, dreams, and goals. All the things that drive us forward. Courage is Hope. Just keep hoping. Hope implies trust in what is right in the universe.

What is making me impatient in the universe lately? Its the fraility of life. In a moment, we can be gone form here and the things we were planning for mean nothing. Am I satisfied with where I am today? Do I want more, something different, something more meaningful? God watches over His word in our lives and if we allow Him to perform it, we see hope, joy and dreams come alive.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Wednesday

Hello Hello

Today I have been prayerful about my decisions for the future.

God has allowed me to think about my relationship with my church life and my family life. My work life and my social life. I can think about combining all of that into one or try to separate it. I think I must believe that the gospel transforms all aspects of my life. It must not be separate. As I talk to God about my decision to continuously draw closer, I know that I have to be more child like and more trusting. I have no illusions that it is all easy. I do know that following  the gospel leads to tough decisions. Leaving one thing to pick up another is important. I'm just really prayerful today. I want to make the best decision for God. I want to continue to always worship God in Spirit and in Truth. May my source of my livelihood always be honorable and secure. Uplifting God and and living in accordance to his Word. I give glory, honor and truth to God. I make no assumptions about anything. I take nothing for granted and I always pray for God to guide me and direct my steps.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Tuesday

Lord when we ask How are you today? Do we wait for the answer? Do we really care ? Do we want people to ask us how we are and really mean it?

Do we ask questions and not even care about the answers? Are we just asking to ask? How do we reconnect with humanity? How do we let people know that we really do care. How do we let those know that we have not forgotten about them? Those in nursing homes, isolated and alone. Those that have no one.

Lord I have asked you many questions and I think that sometimes I have asked the same questions over and over again. I think you have said, You know the answer to that question, why are you asking me again. Do you really want an answer or do you want the answer to change. I am sincere in my concern for others and I will make my decisions according to my sincerity.

So I ask, with all sincerity, How are you today? I hope you are well. Be blessed and be a blessing.

Monday, August 6, 2007

The Truth

Life is full of contradictions. Opposing truths are part of the fundamental life experience. Two statements that are the opposite of each other are contradictions. Both can't be true both can't be false. One wins, and one loses. People are often opposing the truth but the truth requires us to look at it with blinders, sometimes because it it blinding and direct. Its right in front of our face. It takes courage to go beyond denial, greed and lies to just tell the truth. To be truthful. Life seeks balance and in that pursuit, schemes to balance come up. The forces between good and evil is a big contradiction. We seek balance with that and are often contradicted when that occurs.Confusion occurs when others try to change us and we feel foolish. Saying one thing then another. We sound confused and foolish. Our argument isnt plausible and we counter what we wanted to say and do. Life is open to many interpretations of what we do and say. Choose the position that rings true for you. The truth will require the hardest conviction. Is everything black and white or is there something more complex and illuminating in the situation. Today is a day of courage and confrontation.Warring angels, blessing angels, and peaceful angels are all asked to walk with us today. We need the Radical Authority of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Father God we confess that your presence is needed in our lives today. In the court room and in every aspect of our lives.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

What a Blessing

Thank you Father God that we were able to bless others and in doing that we received a blessing. It was hard for people to take us seriously. Some folks just walked away from us thinking we were being sneaky or dishonest. What a blessing we were to one lady who answered her doorbell. Really her children just looked out the window and we told them to get mommy. We told her we had a blessing from St. Sabina if she would just step outside. I left out with 150.00. I had sixty left and I just keep asking God to lead me to someone. When she came out I gave the whole sixty to her. Others began to give to her. She must have gotten a few hundred. I believe that was where we were suppose to be. We prayed over her, prayed with her and she cried, we cried and it was just beautiful. That one really blessed me.

:Last time we did this I just went to the senior building and knocked on a door and gave it to the person who answered. This was far better. Letting them know who we are and where they can reach us by giving them the cards was good. Inviting them to our church and welcoming them into the faith community. What a good day. Taking back the community. Letting those that seek to divide know that we are strong and we are united.

I plan to be there tomorrow for your court date. Might have to bake you a cake with a file or something in it.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Good Morning

Good Morning, Good Morning.

Thank you for today. I rest in your glory for today. Today we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. Thank you Lord for today. It is not promised and I treasure the fact that I woke up today. Thank You for your blessings. I pray that my struggles are few and that I am able to be joyful. I am not under sin and I rejoice in that. God I have many things on my mind. I wonder if I should ask about the job. Does he want me there, maybe not. Am I expecting rejection or acceptance. Is this one of those step out and find out moves. Well Lord I had better find out soon. Ask him, do you think this is a good idea? Each day brings me closer and closer. The truth is I'm in love and I know it to be true.

Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone.

 

Friday, August 3, 2007

Thank You God

Thank You for such a beautiful evening. Any time spent with you is wonderful and beautiful. Thank you God for loving me. Thank you for all that you do to make me feel love and feel special. The only one for me is you. You are my heart's desire. It is you that I need. Thank you Lord, Thank you. Thank you for today. Thank you for loving me and showing me that you love me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Giving glory and praise to you God makes me think that anything is possible. The word of God continues to increase and spread. Thank you that I can praise you Father God. Thank you for your love.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Thursday

Hello

I pray that I dont come across as a pious, religious person. I don't want that to be me.

I want to live in peace and quiet with godliness and holiness a major part of my life. I do not want to exert a pious presence over anyone. I have seen others who are like that and I don't like what I see. I pray for our leaders and for those who are in authority.

My day was busy. Here I thought I would have a lazy day and it turns out I had to go to doctors appt with my daughter. I had told her last week that I would and then today was the day. I got in late last night but none the less I went with them this morning. I know she needed the help with the baby.

I pray that you have a good night's sleep.
That the day will bring nothing but good news for you.

I pray that you are happy and have found your joy renewed.

May you be blessed tonight and may you be a blessing to someone.

Good Night

 

Wednesday

 

Hello

How are you really?/!!??

I came back to my computer and found it logged in to AOL. Its been sitting like this all day. I meant to place an entry earlier and just walked away and never got a chance to come back until now.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for taking my call. It was so cute, it was like I was special. I liked that.

We the People...

When I hear that phrase I think of the possibilities that can come from its orgin and meaning. We the people can make a difference.  We are the people. We can make a difference. Everything is done for the glory of God.

Be blessed tonight and be a blessing tomorrow. We will talk soon.

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