Saturday, December 31, 2005

Good Morning

Good Morning on the last morning of 2005. Thank you Lord for waking me up Yet another day. I am so grateful that you decided to take the time and say, this one, wake her up this morning. Thank you Lord. Thank you for your saving grace. Thank you for your loving kindness. I wake daily trying to follow the road Jesus has walked before me. Its a narrow road, and I sometimes just miss the mark. Sometimes I have to regroup and reflect to get the courage to go down the road. Things get better. Everything doesn't look as gloomy as it use to and hope is eternal. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. A goal is a dream taken seriously. Enjoy your day today. Know that I may not be able to make an entry in the morning because I will be over my dad's house. I will see you tomorrow. With much love and peace, have a blessed day.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Last Date Night of the Year

2005 is almost over. I'm looking at the last Friday of 2005. I think I have reached a point where I know I am limited. I can't play an instrument, I did know how to play the piano but I haven't done that since third grade. I stopped because Sister Luke kept cracking my knuckles with the ruler every time I made a mistake. I went to Lyon and Healy but the enthusiam just wasn't there. I can't skate, I broke my ankle when I took my daughters for skating lessons, they learned and I was in a cast for eight weeks. I'm not really good at any sport, I played softball in Iceland and even though our team went to regionals I didn't play. I watched sports with my dad just so I could talk to him but it doesn't mean I really know them or even like them. I'm going to the Bulls on Saturday and I could care less. What is it that I know how to do?  I used to take ballet when I was young but I kept getting shin splints and I have flat feet so that didn't work out. I do love ballet and structured dance, whatever form it takes, ballet, tango, square, waltz any kind of dance, I like. I need a talent. I need to know how to do something. I'm searching for a talent. I liked and still do like dancing. I like having a good time. Whatever that means. I enjoy board games, I'm very competitive.  I love Scrabble, Monopoly and Trival Pursuit. I like card games too. Bid Whist, Spades, solitare. I enjoy most games. I love to win. I am destined to win or fail trying really hard. So when I fall in love I believe it is for real. It is a competition. A final conquest. A heartfelt desire and final conquest. I have received a prize. The prize of all prizes. I have someone who values the love between the two of us as extremely important. It is the bond that holds us together. Its what makes me know that while God is my ultimate love you fall second to a very high first. What a position to be in. What makes you tick? What excites you? What is your heart's desire? Where do I fit in your picture of a perfect world and perfect partner? Who am I to you? How do you put up with me? Are you still interested in me?

Well, more deep thinking on my part and no real answers from you. Just rambling on from me.

Take Care and have a blessedevening.

Good Morning

Good Morning, Good Morning. Thank You Lord for another day. Thank you Lord for taking up residence in my body, mind and spirit. Thank you for loving me Lord. I pray the Christ would dwell in my heart. I pray that I am rooted and firmly established in love.

I pray that love helps me to determine my self worth. I pray that all those who helped to develop a false sense of self worth by giving me an unrealistic and unhealthy view of myself are no longer in a position of power in my life. I know that in the eyes of God I find my true self worth. My identity is in my relationship with God. My significance is with carrying out God's work. While I know I don't work my way into a positive relationship, I knkow that if I seek His face, and seek His refugee, then I am closer to where He wants me to be. Glory to your name Lord. You are worthy to be praised.

To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ever ask or imagine, I lift my hands up and offer my praise and worship.

How was your week? Did you accomplish alot? Were you weary? Did you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Did you plant a good seed in someone's life? Are you filled with hope? Does faith meet you when you are up against a wall? How do you handle it when you are at the wall? Do you break it down, fashion a make shift door to go through it, climb orver it, or do you stand and stay blocked? Some walls are treated differently, how are you treating your wall today?

I'm thinking way too much again. Have a blessedly wonderful day today and I pray that you are able to accomplish some of the things you need to do today. I pray that you have some good news come into your life today.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

It's A Boy

It's official. She's having a boy. She had her ultrasound today and they have determined that its a boy. I really thought it was going to be a girl.

She decided that she would name him Austin Michael. I picked the middle name.

Austin Michael. I don't know if I like Austin but I do like Michael.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord, thank you for another day. Thank you for giving me a sound mind and strong body.Thank you Lord for loving me today and everyday.

Today I have to get up early to help my brother. I wasn't sure if I would be back in time so I decided to say good morning now.

Lord I choose to be a believer in you. My faith rest with you today and always.

Have a blessed day today. Be safe.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Zuma Deluxe

I am about to tell you a secret.

Ok honey, you have to listen carefully because I won't say this again.

I am addicted to the game Zuma Deluxe. Its a game I purchased from MSN games and I got it about a year ago.  I played it over the summer and I play it when I have break time. I am at level 12 and I reached this level last summer but I can't seem to get past level twelve. I have reached level 12-6 but I don't do it often. I will play for a few minutes or I will play for hours. When I am off for long periods, like now, and during the summer,  I will play for extended time periods.

What does this mean? I like to solve puzzles??? I don't know.

I know that you are going to get the money that you need for the many many needs of the ministery that you need. You will succeed.

I'm watching the Bible Codes. I have been watching the History Channel all week. I assigned my children an assignment to research the events that took place in regards to Hurricane Katrina. I researched the events  on the internet and found that so much has not been done for the victims. I won't call them refugees, they are displaced from their home but not from their country, though the way the country is treating them they might feel like that. I pray that they survive their rescue.

I researched through the New York Times that the Army  Corps was hired to clear the debris in one Mississippi area and the cost is astrominical and not even half of the clean up has been done. In another area the contractors were private and over half of the clean up has been done. What does that say about the government? Lazy workers beign paid twice as much as the private contractors and doing half the job?

The survivors have not received what was promised and the reason for it, mismanagement. People should not ahve to inconvience other other people who are helping them.

Overcoming Weariness

Have I grown weary and disappointed in my expectations for God's plan to work in my life?

My uneasiness from my continual waiting and my disappointed expectation of events are increasing. My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me Lord according to Your Word.

Lord you gave strength to the weary, and power to the weak. Its not uncommon for me to grow weary as I wait for the individual who will be my soul-mate, my life partner and someone who will be with me and available in good times and bad. Someone who will love me unconditionally and I will love them unconditionally in good times and bad times. Am I ready and willing to love another person unconditionally? I am. I look to you Lord, I seek your strength and your refuge.

Lord in your strength I rest. I trust you to wake me every morning and to keep me safe. I trust you to know my soulmate and to know what is best for me. I will not grow weary waiting. I will not lose heart waiting. I will endure because your grace is sufficient for me. I am strong in you Lord and your salvation sustains me.

Good Morning

Good Morning, Good Morning. Thank You Lord for waking me up this morning. What a beautiful morning. I'm alive Lord. I'm here to do your work. To help your word go out in this Earth.I love you Lord. I ove you Lord. I LOVE YOU LORD. I pray that I am with you every second of my day.

Prayer is the key to my day. I have to spend time in prayer and listening to the Lord.  Then I try to act on God's word in my life. Sometimes He answers and sometimes He doesn't. Lord, why is my vacation going by so fast? Already, five days gone. This week, my time next week workshops.

Be blessed today and enjoy Kwanzaa.

 

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Home Safe and Sound

Traffic was good going down and not too bad coming back.

We talked alot going down, this is her last year and I reminded her this time next year we would not be doing this unless she goes to grad school which I am encouraging her to do it now. All she sees is that she will be through with school with a linguistics degree. To do what with? Grad school, grad school, grad school.

Well I have a bedroom to clean up. I just wanted to let you know I'm home safely.

Listen to Your Heart

Listen to God. Be quiet and listen. Listen.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for waking me up this morning. Your loving kindness continues to renew me daily. Thank you for loving me. Father God I ask you to teach me how to love. Tell me the things I do not know. I don't seem to fit in anywhere sometimes. Father God search my heart and teach me the things I need to know. You know the desires of my heart Lord. Train my heart and my mind to be on the things of God. Allow me to talk about you today to one person. Let me share your word with someone today. One day at a time. Lord, your will be done in my life. Thank you Lord for loving me.

Lord grant me safe passage on the roads. Let my travels be uneventful. Let the roads be clear and smooth. Lord dispatch your angels to guide our path and keep us safe. Let our car be a safe haven for us. Thank you Lord for your saving grace. I love you deeply. Have a blessed day and be a blessing to someone.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Monday Night

I'm home on a Monday night. I have no idea what to do on a Monday. I don't know what programs are on or anything. I found Antique Roadshow, Cash in the Attic, The Antichrist, and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (its a mismash of programs). I've been flipping back and forth between them. Plus I'm on the computer. Restless spirit. Tomorrow I have to take my daughter back to school. I'm going in the morning so I can be back before dark. That's a long drive and I don't want to do all that driving in the dark.

What are you doing? I didn't do anything today. I stayed in and watched T.V., played computer games and slept.

"Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done." C.S. Lewis

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

How close is too close? Why did you leave? What did I do? Was I rude? Did I ignore you? How am I ever going to get this right? I'm sorry.

Have a good evening and be blessed.

Good Morning

What a morning. Thank you Lord for all you do for me. Lord , thank you for waking me up this morning. Your will is my desire everyday. Father God sometimes I am where I am because of your divine intervention. Lead me where I need to be, help me be in the right place at the right time. I want to walk in love. I need to know how to stay close both physically and spiritually. Have a blessed day. Rest and Rejuvenate your mind and your body.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

What an Abundance

Today there seemed to be so many people. I remember when I first started volunteering in 2003, there was maybe 50 people altogether, now it must have been at least 3 or 4 hundred. The need is great. People are often talking about how they didn't think anyone would care and look at how we care at our church. I think its important that we help the whole man or woman. Not just meet one need, try to help them in all ways possible. The need is so great.

Stop riding the fence. Put your heart, hope and faith in one court and stay there. I chose you, I chose the Lord. You are both on the same team. You are a good man. Caring, wholesome and generous. The people of our community really do appreciate you. Dont ever think that you are not loved. You are amazing and you need to hear good positive things daily. Renew your spirit and renew your strength.

Cheer Up

When I looked at the entry that I made this morning it sounds so sad. It looks so sad. No wonder you keep talking depression and suicide. I must seem totally depressed. I'm not. really.Trust me suicide is not on my mind or even a consideration. I would never consider that as an option to temporary external problems.

I have to get moving, I should have been out of here a half hour ago.

Happy Birthday to my Savior

Glory to your name Lord. Jesus is born. Jesus has been sent to set us freel. Glory to your name Lord.

Thank you for making a way our of no way this morning. Thank you for waking me up, letting me have a few hours sleep and allowing me to still wake up.

Glory to your name. Joyous Noel. Feliz Navidad. Merry Christmas.

Its wonderful to be able to praise the Lord.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

No Museum Today

Well I managed to wash. I washed eight loads! Everything, towels, rugs, coat, sweaters. That's all done. I managed to have an argument with my mother this morning. They are becoming more and more frequent. She wanted to throw away my plant because most of it is dying and I want to keep it until I can get another one tomorrow. I have two plants. I'm always trying to grow something, or have some flowers around or something.. I have saved this plant since last Christmas. It has lived and that means something to me.She asks me can we now throw that plant away or at least move it to some other area, as if its bothering her or in her way. She keeps asking me to throw this plant away. If I have to keep it with one leaf on it I am not throwing it away. I said no, it stays right where it is. It's by the computer, by the window, so when I am at my computer I can see it and know that I got this plant last Christmas from my church when I feed the elderly and homeless. I will get another one this year. She said I was evil and that I was going to hell. She is evil incarnate. I said if people in heaven are like you then I don't want to be there Then she tells me she took off work so she could be home the same time I am. I am not staying here. I think I'll go over my father's building, he still has a vacant apartment and I will sleep on the floor. I don't want to spend my free time with negativity around me. The sound of her voice just upsets me. Already my day is messed up. I'm baking cookies now to take tomorrow. I'm not going to let her mess up my time off. I hate even just talking about it. I just want to get it out and be done with it. Enough said on this subject.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for such a beautiful day. Thank you for keeping me safe through the night. Thank you Lord for your mercy. Thank you for loving me Lord. Lord you are amazing.

Good Morning to you too. The day is here. The next 48 hours will be exciting. I'm looking forward to them. I am now going to do the laundry. Have a blessedly wonderful day today and I look forward to seeing you this evening. You are loved.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Date Night

Well I haven't said that in a long time. I have not forgotten it, I have just not said it. Each Friday has always been date night. I went to a movie today. I saw Syriana. Interesting.

I know you are probably very busy and have lots of things to do. I pray that you stay focused and calm. I know everything will turn out just fine. It will be a wonderful weekend. You will do a wonderful job and everyone will be so blessed and happy. You have a wonderful staff to assist you. They are dedicated to having everything work out just right. I think its good that you talk about tithing. I have always wondered should I give ten percent of the net or the gross. I decided to give ten percent of what I earned not what I finally received. I didn't know if I should give if I get a loan (student). Technically its not income but its money I received. I decided to give ten percent anyway, just in case. Now that I am paid every two weeks I give on the payday weekend and give the ten percent then. I used to split it and guesstimate what to give. I would round it off. When I was paid once a month, I would split it into four. So now my goal is to give when I receive. Whatever I receive. We just got paid again and wont get paid again for another three weeks so I'll give  and then nothing for three weeks, unless I receive something. Its important to me that you know how my thithing is set up

I plan to go to the Museum  to see the trees tomorrow and then grab a bite then get over to the church so I am there at 8:30 when the doors open. Before all of that I plan to wash my clothes early in the morning. I have put that off and its now necessary that I do that. If I do that right after I put in my morning entry I can be through by 10am.

Two weeks! Yes! Next week I'm going to see the Bulls. The "Baby Bulls" as my dad calls them. We are going on New Year's Eve. Then off to church in the A.M. Then a party after church. I am trying not to schedule too much during that time. These two weeks are going to have some days where I am not out of the house at all. I plan some quiet time, educational time and some fun time. Two weeks will go so quickly. I might go to the art museum for this exhibit on Tuesday, but my daughter returns to Champaign then too so we will see how that works.

What was your day like today? Did you get a lot done? Did you have any frustrations today? Are you feeling loved? What are your plans for this holiday season? Where will you be? Who will be with you? What are you going to talk about with them? What will you be eating? What will you be drinking?

Well, I look for hope, good will and some justice to happen in this world.  Have a blessed evening and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.

Good Morning

Glory to God in the Highest!

I am so glad I access to another computer. My internet access was down at home. They didn't have it fixed by the time I left either. No, it was not because the bill wasn't paid, though that has happened before.

Glory to God that today is the last day before break. The children will be crazy and I think I'm a little restless too.

Have a blessed day and remember that I really do love you and my goal is to be obedient to you. To follow your directions and what ever you tell me to do just do it, no questions asked. Have a blessedly wonderful day today.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Classroom Party

Today was our classroom party. I'm so glad its over. They had a good time. I had a good time and now its time to go on vacation. We need a rest from all of this good times stuff. I took so much flack for having a holiday party. My children were the only 7th or 8th grade class to have a party and I was told by the VP that they could have a party. Why did the other teachers ask me why I was rewarding my students with a party because of all the bad behavior they exhibited. I just told them I'm new, I felt they needed a party. Everything is so negative there. The upper grades never get anything. The reason is always their behavior but sometimes I think the behavior is because they don't get anything. I think its easy for me to say because I'm new and not calloused yet. I hope never to be that jaded. Sometimes you can't help it with the big ones though. Most of them are raising themselves and just think they are grown.

I am sorry for the short entry this morning. I was so distracted, didn't sleep well, up too early, reading the bible and studying Moses and the people who complained and murmured and doubted God's ability to fulfil his promise. They lost their chance to enter the promised land due to their doubt and unbelief. When God spoke to Moses and told him they could not go into the land, they decided to go anyway and were defeated. They spent forty years in the desert, so that the children who did not know slavery could be the ones to enter the promised land. Why are we as a people so hard headed. The Jews saw the miracles that God performed. They ate the manna he provided daily, yet they still didn't believe in his ability to deliver them in the promised land. We let our eyes and our external abilities predict our success. When will I just depend on God and not myself. Just stop wondering and rest in God's peace and knowledge that he loves me and will protect me and knows me and knows what I need and want. I keep wondering when, how, where God will work in my life for this really big thing and I know I have to rely on him no matter what. I must believe in the future and let him guide me to my future. Not knowing how, not knowing when, just knowing it will happen is driving me bananas. Its amazing that I can tell when you are doubting and call you on it but when I begin to doubt I think it's ok when it really isn't. I just want to get that solid feeling and knowledge that this is it, this is permanent and this is forever. Where is that feeling? When does that come? Why does it come and then go? What can I do to keep it? Is that the leap of faith? Just feel that way no matter what? I'm just questioning stuff again. Not wavering, just meandering, just wondering. Don't be angry, I'm jsut tired and stressed. Long days, and long nights without much sleep has me thinking entirely too much. Have a good night and be blessed.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for waking me up this morning. Thank you for the conversations with my heart and mind. What I believe is important. My actions are important.

 

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Good Morning

Good MOrning Lord. Thank you for waking me up this morning. Though you didnt have to wake me so early. That extra hour would have been really good to have on such a long day. Now that I have whined about that I will just say , thank you again for allowing me to see another day.I don't know what's on the agenda today but I stand ready to be your foot soldier. Those incarcerated today, whether innocent or guilty an honest answer is what is needed. Sometimes its not whether to speak the truth but how to say it. How to speak the truth so that it is accepted and brings knowledge to the receiver. Speak the truth in love. The truth shall set you free.

Today is count down day for me. Three days and counting until some peace. My heart is heavy today and I know you have a lot to do. Be careful in your dealings today. You have a busy week ahead of you and lots to do. Make peace and do your best. I have no idea what I'm talking about but just know that I do know I love you and hope you have a very blessed day.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Good Evening

Hello, Good Evening.

My day was good. Nothing taken that I can see so far. I had a workshop after school so I didnt have to teach the afterschool program. I had to do enrichment training for Saturday school that begins in January for 8 weeks. I'll have sixth grade instead of eighth.

My eighth graders said they missed me yesterday. How sweet. They are just trying to butter me up so I'll let them have their Christmas party. I plan to let them have it no matter what. They get so few rewards from the school and from me. I'm not feeling sorry for them but its my Christmas present to them. They won't get anything else from me.

How was your day today? Did you have any problems today? How's the giveaway going? I guess I won't see you until Saturday. Well be blessed and be ready for the ridiculous next year.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Glory to your name. Thank you for waking me up today. Thank you for the grace and mercy you have shown me through the night. Thank you for fighting my battles and winning. My journey with you is never ending. I pray that less of me comes out and more of you is manifest in my life. I pray that I see your glory, unveiled and with out any limitations. Decrease me and increase you in my life. I travel my life's journey seeking your face Father God. My desire is to please you.

Father God I return today with apprehension. Hve they messed up my room again? Is something stolen, broken or just missing? Are they so anxious for the break that they won't listen today? Will staff becooperative? I am anxious too Lord. Anxious for many things, I pray that I rest in your peace today. I pray for my church today that everything goes as planned and that everyone is happy and satisfied today.

 

Monday, December 19, 2005

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for another day. Another day to walk in your will Lord. Thank you for waking me up this morning. I know you didn't have to do that. Thank you for blessing me this morning. This is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Lord today I need your strength to embrace my daughter and the decisions hse has made. I dont reject her just her behavior and the decisions the behavior have led her to make. I carry no resentment, bad attitude and unkind words into this day.

Father God help me to complete my activities for today. Keep me on track with your will today Father God. Touch my heart and know that I love you . Protect me Lord from any wickedness today. Protect my family, my school and my church from any wicked arrows, darts or words today. Lord we rejoice in praising you today and everyday. You are worthy to be praised Lord. We will praise your name forever and ever and ever. Glory to Your name.

Have a blessed day today and be a blessing to someone.Know that you are loved.

 

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Balcony Seats

I don't like to wait down stairs in the lobby while the service is going on so I will go to the balcony to be able to see and be a part of the service. The doors had been closed and I went straight to the balcony. Nothing I could do about that. Getting there earlier just didn't happen. I left after communion because I was trying to make an appointment. Sorry I missed giving you a hug. I pray that you will forgive me.

Believing God in transition. Believing God where I am at and where I am trying to get to. I want to get there but that in between is hard. Transition is difficult. I am glad about getting there but the transition is difficult. In between time is a difficult time.

I wonder when you were upset on Saturday if you had any plans after you had thought about dropping those keys off. I believe you  have a plan and a goal and are preparing for a new life, but how will you make that transition? My flesh secretly wished you had dropped those keys off and traveled down I-55 to moved to the another level. I don't want you to do that in anger though. You would never be happy with your decision. You need to make your decision with peace of mind. I wonder how and when you will make that decision. You just don't know what to expect and what the decision will bring. I don't know and you don't know. God knows. I just ask for peace. I don't know what 2006 will bring but I know I have dreams for something good for me in 2006. My blessing is coming. I know God has a place for me. Even if I may think God has forgotten me, He has not forgotten me. I will wait on the Lord and be of good courage. There is a reason why I made it. There is something ahead of me. God has kept me through all kinds of stuff. I owe it to myself to get there. I have to love myself enough to get there. God has reserved a place for me. The devil can't have my stuff because my name is on it and God has prepared a place for me. Not friends, not family but God. It will free me from stuff that I am afraid to let go of. I let go of stuff. I don't hang on to stuff to take with me. I throw stuff away very quickly when I do throw stuff away. Songs don't make me think of people. I like to sing the songs with the artist. I couldn't tell you what I was doing during that time, but I know the words to that song. I have learned to be content. I may not have everything I'm looking for but I have learned to be content. All things work together. I didn't know why God had been leading me to that verse all week, I kept reading it and moving on, but when I decided to actually use it, you had prepared a sermon including that verse. I know God is working in my  life, I don't know how but I know everything does work together. Unity as a couple. Trouble is just a preparation for the triumph. We must work together. I will get to my place. I believe there's a place, but how do I get there? Jesus will take me there and make sure that I will get there. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank You for today. Thank you for such a beautiful day. This is the best day of the week. Thank you Lord for today. I will go to your house of prayer and praise and worship you today Lord. Your words to me are do not let your heart be troubled, trust in God and trust in Jesus. No servant is greater than his master. Lord help me to know how to serve you.

Trust in God and lean not to my own understanding.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Energy

I went back to bed this morning and didn't wake until 10am. I am moving very slowly. I havent done anything I planned to do today. I still have time to be productive. I do treasure the time to rejuvenate. This week was very taxing on my body. Everyday I had something to do after work and I didn't get home until well after 9pm. I don't think I should be too hard on myself for going back to bed and sleeping until 10am. The phone woke me up and then when I went to answer it I accidently hung up on them. They didn't call back. I'm going to do what I can today and save the rest for Monday.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Glory to your name. Thank you for waking me up this morning with a sound mind and body. Thank you for your blessings through the night. I know that without you I would not be here.

You know I get it now. My need for you outweighs my desire for privacy. I can't have privacy the way I am used to privacy. My life, my love, my happiness are all tied to being out in the open for the whole world to see each and every day. My actions have to reflect that every day. Whether in public or private, I have to perform at a level of knowing that someone is always watching me. Glory to your name Lord. Am I prepared? Am I ready? As ready as I can be.

Today, today, today. Today I unwrap the present. The present is a present. Today I will wash clothes, drop off the DVD player for the church toy giveaway (I won it as a gift from the school) and then I will maybe see a movie. I missed the turkey giveaway, I called too late.

Well, have a blessed day and remember that I love you. Yes you.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Good Morning

Good Morning Lrod. Glory to your name. Thank you Father God for another day to get it right. Thank you for loving me everyday. Thank you for giving me grace and peace of mind. You are my Jehovah Jirah, more than enough. You are my provider,  Lord. I will look to you Lord, my help comes from you. My strength comes from you. May your word ring tru in my life. May I be truthful in all of my dealings today. You are more than enough for me Lord. You know my needs, my wants and my desires. Thank you Lord for loving me. You love, you love me, you love me. Lord you give me "the look" that lets me know when I have done something wrong. Will I receive that look today? Am I prepared in my heart and mind to receive it? What is on the agenda of my life today? Just a look can convict me. Knowledge that that wasn't right. Knowing that in an instance I have done or said something that doesnt line up with your will and your your word. Lord convict me if I deny you in any area of my life today. Convict me if I do not respond in a manner that glorifies Jesus today. Convict me with the look today if I don't magnify you in my life today.

I thank God its Friday and look forward to the weekend. Have a blessedly wonderful day today and remember I love you.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Good Night

Today we decorated the room for Christmas. We made snowflakes, stencils of trees and penguins. We had a good time.

I like how you have so many lights up around the rectory area. Since I didn't decorate yet or even this year at home I think of that as home. I feel bad though when I come home and all the neighbors have lights up. I may have to put something up this weekend. One of my student's aunt was killed the other night. This neighborhood has so much violence. There was a shooting over the Thanksgiving holiday. The children complain about being afraid to walk home after the afterschool programs. Its a mess.

I am so ready for next Friday its just not even funny. I can't wait. Tomorrow is the school party. Tonight I went to the NTN party. Saturday is going to find me in bed, late. I think I might pick up a turkey though. I definitely have to wash clothes. I am off on Monday. I have to take my daughter for her OB/GYN appt. I believe her baby is due in June. She wants me to be excited about it, but I can't. I can support her and make sure she is doing the right things to stay healthy and keep the baby healthy. Boyfriend is in and out of her life right now.

Well, I'm tired and I have very little brain cells left to proccess one more coherent thought. I definitely can't think of anything smart and witty. So I will bid you good night and pleasant dreams. May God answer all of your prayers according to His will for your life.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for safe passage to work. Thank you for waking me up this morning with sound mind and body. Thank you for all of your saving garces. Thank you for also putting in me a desire to please you. Your will is my desire. I say yes to you daily Lord.

Good Morning my love. Did you worry when there was not entry this morning? Please don't. Know that we just keep having all kinds of problems, but they are in no way reflective of my desire to communicate with you. You are in my heart and my mind. You have taken up residence. You sit down in the easy chair by the fire and go to the frige any time you want. You even have the remote control. Don't worry that you are not in my thoughts and my heart.

Have a blessedly wonderful day today and take extra good care of yourself.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Good Morning

Good Morning. God Bless you this morning. Thank You Lord for another day. I know its not promised and I rejoice to have another day. Thank You Lord. Thank you for all of your blessings. Thank you for your grace. I know patience is important. I must wait on God. My pace is not God's pace. I have to learn the path of the straight and narrow. I must let God teach me His will and His ways. Glory to your  name Lord. Glory, glory, glory.

I begin another day with the Lord running the show. I know its going to tak everything I have to get through this week. I was delayed by a train last night while going home. I didn't get home until almost 10:30.  I'm placing my leftover bag in the bathroom on the mirror. I can see it everyday. I don't know the how and it really doesn't matter, just that it happens. I do not rely on my own thoughts and knowledge to accomplish any of this. God is working it out. I'm just seated and waiting on my grace portions. I know God love me and I love HIM. He loves me. HE LOVES ME. God is love. He loved his Son, Jesus and He love me. I'm working on the well pleased part daily so that I to may hear "with you I am well pleased".

Have a blessedly wonderful day. I don't think I will  be at the meeting tonight. I don't have enough gas to do all of that and still make it to the end of the week. But then I suppose I should lean not to my own understanding and trust God for the gas for what I need. Hyde Park, Auburn-Gresham, home. All things are possible if you believe. Time to go into the smiley face bank, again. If we have the snow then I'm not going anywhere but home. I don't have to be convinced to do that.

Be blessed and have an absolutely glorious day. Know that I love you.

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