Thursday, August 31, 2006

Good MOrning

 

Good MOrning Lord. Thank you for such a good night. I praise you and I worship you. I know that you have a lot of work to do with me and my thoughts and desires. Lord, protect my family. Guard their hearts and mind. Don't let them be destroyed by negative people. Keep a hedge of protection around them. Lord keep the truth flowing. I never want to be placated with a lie. My heart is heavy and my mind is active. There is so much going on Lord. My dad, my children, my family, my job, my church. I prioritize by putting you first Lord. Lead me, guide me, speak to me, direct me, counsel me, love me. Walk with me today Jesus, guide my steps.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. The be attitudes were on the agenda today. Today is the first day back and I am excited and exhausted. Lord I thank you for another year and I am blessed daily that you continue to find a need for me in my little world. Thank you for continuing to love me Lord. I look forward to the challenges for the year. I pray that I will hear your suggestions, demands and desires. Thank you for a cool day, the rooms can be stifling without air. Lord let the words and Ideas be your words today and your ideas. Let any anxiety from the past be removed. Let new thoughts come in. I pray for the neighborhood, the children and their parents. Let us come together this year to have a successful school year.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. I shall bless your name at all times and your praise shall continually be in my mouth. God, your plans for me are something I embrace. Lord if you give someone else a job or duty that I would like to have, help me to have the character of David. When he found out that he wouldn't be building God's temple, he admitted to his officials that God had chosen another to build his house. David supported God's decision. David encouraged the officials to embrace Solomon. David gave the plans and the materials. David gave generously. Lord, David was your servant, he fought for you and secured your kingdom here on earth. But he couldn't build your temple. His hands were covered with blood. His humility was felt and he rose to the occasion magnificently. He gave him everything he would need to build the temple and he praised God through it all. Lord help my attitude to be one of humility. Lord give me the energy to serve you in the places that you have called me to be. Lord where I am over possessive in a area in my life, help me to loosen my grip. Let me give generously and with joy. I enjoy giving to God. Let my time, my talents and my treasures be acceptable to God. Be strong and courageous to do the work that needs to be done. Lord everything I have is yours. Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Lord show me how to be an excellent example of humility. I shall praise the Lord day and night. I shall give of my time, my treasures and my talents with joy. I shall seek God's desire.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Good MOrning

Good Morning Lord. Yesterday we went to church. I have been playing relationship journal now for over tow years. I started an online journal about my feelings to God and it became one about my feelings toward him. He found out about it. He found me saying stupid things, acting silly and sometimes being very reflective and endearing. Most of the time he found an insecure person obsessive over the most minute matters of life.

Yesterday I heard the usual you don't think you're good enough, you are pretty, and its all up to you sermon. Its up to you not me. I agree with all of that and cherish the fact that he can read me so clearly at times, in what he thinks is wrong with me. What needs to be fixed in me. I'd love to have some real one to one counseling to really open myself up to his questions and concerns. Will he ask the questions that need to be asked, will I answer with the words that need to be said? Who knows.

What I do find intolerable and hurtful is the constant and mindful way of how he doesn't even acknowledge me. He walks on the other side of the fountain to avoid me. He will stand right in front of me and look as if I am not even there. He prefers the situation as it is to some extent. If I don't get in line I have no contact what so ever. I am ignored by him and he is ignored by me.

I am sure about one thing and that is that our communication is not real. How can I continue with the journal, its phony. I'm not talking to him and he is not responding to me. He is not my sweetheart, my love or anything else. I can't continue this farce with myself. We don't have a relationship, we don't even have a friendship. We have nothing but words. Never to each other, never direct and purposeful.

I am not in his circle of friends. I'm not someone he feels comfortable talking to. We have nothing but a journal and sound bites in a sermon to respond to each other. It is not real. Is it real when we are together and don't even speak to each other? Is it real when we don't even look at each other eye to eye? Is this journal real? Are my feelings real? Are his feelings real? Can feelings even be considered real? Is the present the only reality? What is our reality? Are we living in a false sense of reality each day with this journal?

 WE DON'T TALK TO EACH OTHER. WE ACT AS IF THE OTHER DOESN'T EXIST WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER. WE DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE EACHOTHER'S EXISTENCE OR PRESENCE.

This journal is like a broken telephone. A message goes out but the intention is lost. Some things need to be clarified and explained and that is never done. These aren't letters to you, they are rambling thoughts that are released in my fantasy world that we actually have a relationship when in reality we don't even know each other.

It was just my imagination, once again, running away with me. It was just my imagination, running away with me.

You are quite content in your world and I am working towards that same contentment in mine. The reality is there will never be that perfect moment for us, or a perfect anything for us. Just like the real plant, we will have issues always. I will not be in the perfect state of mind and body that I long for. I will continue to search for some sense of peace and probably not find it. I know that love is more about the willingness to want to be a couple than it is about all the negative things associated with that. For all the negative there are ten positives for each one.

Professionally I can handle whatever comes my way. Emotionally I am unable to acquire a suitable mate. Spiritually, I seek God to make me over, renew my mind and my heart and soul. I know that without God none of the professional and emotional is possible. I ask God to take out of me that which is blocking my emotional stability.

Can I survive without emotional stability? Many exist that way now. Is it ideal? Of course not. Do I want an emotionally stable relationship? Of course I do. It is hard and difficult to have and maintain but I am open to that challenge. I don't even know what I am looking for that is blocking me from this one man. A man who I claim to love, but obviously that is a farce. I don't even know him. I don't know the real man.

What I do know is that there is a link between my fulfillment and purpose and my commitment to this church. Have I blurred the lines? Have I crossed over a sacred boundary?

This journal has become more of a crutch than a help for me. Instead of advancing, I've regressed. Have I reached the peak with this journal? Is it time for you to get out of my head? Daily I give you my thoughts? But the thoughts have become selective. I care what you think about what I say. I sometimes try to monitor and control what I say. Daily I give you my thoughts and for what? Am I through wondering about me? I hope not?

I have decided to keepa paper journal again. If I keep on doing the same thing I will continue to get the same results. For me to change there must be change. I need my words to be real irregardless of you, not because of you.

My commitment is to God My journal is to God. I must return it to God. My online journal will return to God. I will remove you from my online journal. I must listen and pay attention to God. Give God the Glory. Give glory to the Lord your God before he brings the darkness. Giving glory to God puts the focus back on him and puts us in our proper place.

Give glory to God for yourself, your family, your work, and your whole course of life. Give glory to God. Take pride in your relationship with God. I write this journal to God and for God. That is where my focus will be.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for waking me up today. Lord you said that those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow wea, they will walk and not be faint. Lord I'm drowning in the babysitting thing. Days I don't think I will, I do. Everyday. Everyday. Lord I don't want to be a complainer but I do want to understand my role in this.Lord I want to be more focused on my relationship, not this. Me, me, me. Lord forgive me for my selfishness. I believe I have sown a seed in the baby's daddy life. He claims he has a job as a result of my doing a resume and posting it online. I want him to be successful so that he can help the baby. My daughter is depressed and overwhelmed. I try to help out as much as possible. My other daughter is depressed. She wants a job now. Mom is in her own world. Dad is in his own world. I just want to be in my own world. Working on my relationship with my love. I don't want to take on their problems.

Hello My Love, yesterday was a very busy day. You did a wonderful thing.Your works and your words constantly reflect God. Parents are going to be parents no matter what. You know in your heart and in your mind your words and actions were pure. God loves you and so do I. I have to get ready now, I'm coming with the baby. I love you.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Good Morning

If it were not for hope, the heart would break.  —Thomas Fuller

If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. —Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for loving me. I continue to have hope.

I call with all my heart; answer me, O Lord, and I will obey your decrees.

I call out to you; save me and I will keep your statutes.

I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word. Psalm119:145-147

Save me for I am yours, your word is a lamp unto my feet, I stand in awe of your laws O Lord. Lord I I put my hope in you whether you save me or not. I know you are worthy. I don't make deals with you, I honor you Lord.

Lord step by step I know that you lovingly care for me.You encourage me, you understand me, you hold me close when needed and you allow me room for growth. You know the things I need and are ready for. You know your plans for me. You are patient with me. You are my delight.

Good Morning Sweetheart. How are you today? I think you are wonderful for what you are doing today.  I usually just donate supplies and let this day be the responsibility of someone else but this year, I'm involved too.You are compassionate and caring. Thank you for understanding the needs of the children. Have a wonderful day today and be blessed. I love you.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Today you have awaken me to Love. This morning I am grateful and thankful that I have someone to love. I am in my right mind and I am in love. The Songs of Songs Ch 1-3. Lord I ask you to help me better show my love to the one I care about. Lord you are the lover of my soul. I praise you for being altogether lovely. Altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me. Lord help me to show my love to the one I love. I must be patient. My lover is mine and I am his. Thank you Lord for showing me this today.

Good Morning Sweetheart. The language of love is special. A love relationship is special. I pray that the Lord will help me show my love to the one I care about. Let him know that I love him very much. Have a wonderful day today my love and be a blessing to someone very special today. I love you.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Hi

Well today was a good day. All in all.

Baby girl went on a job interview and it looks promising.

The baby was seen at the good doctor's office and the medicine is starting to work.

Baby's daddy has two job interviews tomorrow, pray that something comes of that.

I dont have to babysit tonight or tomorrow.

My day is going very well right now.

Tomorrow is looking pretty good too.

Learn to trust again. The key to love you can count on.

Jsut thinking out loud.

Well good night and sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite.  :-)

 

Good MOrning

Good MOrning Lord. Thank you for your blessings and thank you for your favor. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am renewed and restored. I Praise you Lord for you are King of Kings and Lord of Lords. You are worthy to be praised. Lord guard our travels today. Protect our family. Keep us safe and under your hedge of protection.

Good Morning Sweetheart. I pray that today is a good day for you and if not at least you know that you walk with Jesus in all that you do and say. Have a blessed day today. I love you.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Good Night

I'm tired. It has been a long two days. We packed 240 book bags today. I'm going to try and come in on Friday otherwise I will be back on Saturday, I hope. I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. Tomorrow we have to take the baby to the doctor in the morning. Lizzie has a job interview in the afternoon. Anna has an appointment in the afternoon. I  just know I am going to have the baby.Young mothers.

So where do we go from here? You tell me.

Have a good night and know that you are loved.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you Lord for Your Son. Thank you for your love. Thank you this morning for another day. Thank you for renewing my soul and guiding my steps. Yea though I walk through the valley of  death, thou art with me. I love the King James version. My walk is difficult but God is with me. Lord I do not want this generational curse passed down to my family. Your word says we are over comers by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. In the name of Jesus I commit my life to you Lord, to obey you, to follow you, to trust you. Lord you bind up all heartache and you heal all pain. I am a conqueror. I don't want to be identified as heart broken and unable to heal. A wounded dog lying in the corner licking my wounds. I walk with Jesus and my faith allows me to receive healing and to forgive those who have harmed me. Lord your word helps me to heal and forgive. I thank you for walking with me Lord. You said you would never leave me nor forsake me. I am not promised a carefree life, but I am promised not to go through life alone. Thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Teach me to guard my heart and to grow in grace with the knowledge of you Lord. To develop trust the trust I need to walk closer to you. Thank you Lord for loving me and believing in me. Search my heart and know the truth. Know the truth Lord. Search my heart.

Good MOrning Sweetheart. What a busy day. We are all so busy around here. We barely have a chance to say hello to each other. Hello, just in case I don't see you or get a chance to talk to you later. You have a blessed day today and be a blessing to someone very special. I love you.

 

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for allowing me to have another day to get things right. Thank you for letting me have a little sleep and then I can see things in a different light. Lord I am a complainer. I want to stop. I want to get my focus back on taking care of myself and getting my health up to par. Life has put a baby in my path and I have to deal with that. I am more involved than I thought I would be but I have to understand that is where I to be right now.

...We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. Romans 8:26-30

God is with me. In that simple statement, a calm comes over me. God is with me. I don't walk alone. God is with me. I don't stumble and make mistakes alone. God is with me.

Good Morning Sweetheart. Today I go back to my little place of reality. It begins again. The new school year. But that's OK, God is with me. I wonder about so many things. Well I have to get ready. Have a blessed day and be a blessing to someone very special.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Good Night

Well, I wasnt suppose to see the baby. I wasnt suppose to keep the baby for any amount of time today. The whole baby family came over around2pm. I did get my hedges trimmed by baby daddy. Then they all decide to go to the mall to find an interview outfit for Lizzie. They leave me with the baby around 6:30 and return around 9pm. I'm looking forward to being unavailable for two days. I wont get too excited about it. When they left fo Idaho I was too excited and they didnt leave on time. This just seems to consume my world. Everyday its baby, baby, baby.

I hope that it will get better. How was your day today? Have you been ministering to nursing homes? How are the elderly?You are a good man. Have a good night and enjoy your evening. I love you.

Good Morning

Good MOrning Lord. Thank you Lord for waking me up today. Today I am seeking the ability to be straightforward in my communication. I desire to be direct, honest, and I want the power to express my feelings and desires honestly. Jesus is always unbiased, straightforward, objective, free from doubt and unwavering. Lord there is not one ounce of insecurity in Jesus. He is perfect. I strive for honesty and impartiality. I want the truth to be my sheild Lord I want to united and in full agreement with your will and your word. I want my yes to be yes and my no to be no. Lord I want the truth to be told. I understand that every good thing I have is of Christ. My prayer is that my conversation will be full of grace, seasoned with salt so that I will know how to answer everyone.I am aware and content with my own reality. I understand the state I am in and I honestly speak the truth about the situation. I don't want lies or false truths. I seek to feel safe and calm in God's presence. I want to speak the truth, deal with the truth and live with the truth. I want to meet my self in truth and in love. I must love myself to love others. I must feel God's love, and I do. I know very little but I know that God loves me.  I walk in perfect harmony with that. God Loves Me.

Good MOrning Sweetheart. This morning I just couldnt get started. My grandson didnt leave until almost 2am. He was good for the most part. Just the occasional waking up, feeding and diaper changing. NO BaBy Today! I love him but I need a break. Talk to me, what's going on with you. Something is on your mind. Sometimes I wish I could just hold you and say everything's going to be all right. Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone. I love you.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Hi

Well as you can see, I had the baby. I have him now. He's in my arms, on my lap sleeping. I just gave him a bath, fed him and rocked him to sleep. I am exhausted.

God's presence in my life is so important. The good thing is that I need you to keep me grounded. When I'm feeling used, remember that I am useful. When I am feeling like I am unloved, remember that God loves me. When I think that nothing is going to go right in my life, remember that God has a plan and try not to get in the way of the plan. Try not to mess up my own blessing.  My attitude has changed a lot. Thank you. I am so willing to jump in that ocean, come what may. I am patient, and willing.

This week I have a professional development on Tues and Wed. I will be coming to the church each of those days when I get done. I will help with the book bag filling. We are done by 3pm so I figure I can help out for a few hours after that. This will be my first year with this.

Well, Austin and I are tired. He's already asleep, thank God, and I am going to get in the bed now. Maybe I can get a little nap before he wakes. Take Care and be blessed. I love.you.

Good Morning

Good MOrning Lord. I am so thankful that you woke me up this morning. Lord I am in need of your guidance and strength. Let my decision be your decision in this matter. I am concerned about my daughter and her baby. I know I cant make the decisions for them, I can only guide and suggest. Lord I cant take him to church this morning. I will pick him up after church and I want to be fine with that. I have a life too, let his daddy play a role in his life. Let him babysit sometimes. Let her allow him to keep the child sometimes. I cant do it this morning and let me be OK with that decision. Lord I desire to please you and I seek you out to be my guide and strength.

Good Morning Sweetheart. How is it that I have become primary babysitter number one? I know how it is, I let it happen.Well, I'm trying to let it un happen. I'm reading this morning, I have to be there early and she is just going to have to take the baby with her to this hair show that she is in at McCormick. I will pick him up after church or pick him up from his home if his daddy watches him. That's the best I can do. I don't want to feel guilty for saying no.I usually say yes whenever she needs a sitter.I have to get ready.See you soon, I love you.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Good MOrning

Good MOrning Lord. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I thank you for giving me another day. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your mercy. My prayers are to you Lord. Some of the simplest and smallest things you make important. Lord I pray for understanding and faith. Lord I pray for wisdom. Help me to pray Lord. I give you all the glory and the honor and the praise. You are amazing Lord. You are worthy to be praised.

Good Morning Sweetheart. Today is a day of babysitting. 10am - 6pm. I wont have him tomorrow though. I have to read. We might go to the village jubilee today. Something to do outside the house. What's on your agenda? Be blessed today and I will keep you near and dear to my heart. I love you.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Hi

We were rained out tonight.

I was ready for tonight but its better not to be in the rain.

Well my child has turned her ugly face on. She can be so snotty.

My car is back and there is no smell of gas.

Well, good night sweetheart and have a blessed evening.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for your blessings. Help me to speak words of grace. Let my mouth speak the right things.Help me to speak words that comfort, encourage and strengthen. Lord help me to honor you with my words. Let my lips open for the right words. Keep watch over my words and let me have patience when I think that I have no more.Lord you are my Comforter, Counselor and Advocate. Strengthen me to consider my words and to find no fault in anyone. Let me see from your eyes. Let me hear that which you want me to hear. You know my heart Lord. Search my heart, let the truth come out.

Good Morning Sweetheart.Today I will pray for sunshine and blue skies. My goal is to be at jazz in the park tonight. I have to go turn in my car and pray that it will be ready around noon like they said. Be blessed today and know that I love you.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Something is just not feeling right

Today we went to the museum. We being my mother and myself. My daughters were suppose to go but that didnt happen. First Lizzie decided she wasnt going to go. Then When I talked to Anna she said, OK. So as we lazily began the day she called and asked if her boyfriend/baby''s daddy could go also. My mom said no. She was not going to go if he went. He was intruding on her space. NO NO NO. I felt horrified. Here he was the horrible boyfriend trying to interact with the family and mom says no way will she be seen in public with this leech. I told my daughter to tell him that we changed plans and we werent going anymore. We LIED. Now the boy is going to know for sure that we dont like him. Should we include him in a family outing just because he knocked up my daughter and is now her baby's daddy? I felt bad. I probably would have let him come had it not been for my mother. We will have other instances when he will want to interact with the family, what am I suppose to do then? Of course now my daughter doesnt want to come over which is fine with me right now anyway. She will be moving back soon enough and she needs a babysitter tomorrow. I'm not babysitting, my other daughter is. Children. What drama.

How was your day today? How are your boys? Family life is a trip.

Well I will sign off for tonight. I wrote an article for the praise report but now I think it might be too opinionated. Lets see if it gets printed. Tomorrow I drop my car off at the nazi pirate shop. I think they will do a good job its just annoying that the repair is so much. Take care and have a good evening. Good Night.

Good Morning

Names of Christ Art Print

Good Morning Lord. You are Holy, Holy, Holy Lord. Thank you for your love Lord. You are good and your mercy endures forever. You warn us and we are responsible for our actions and our choices. Who ever will listen, let him listen, whoever refuses let him refuse. Lord let your Spirit come unto me and lift me up. Let my ears hear your decrees.Let me walk your path Lord.

Good Morning Sweetheart. Today is a good day. Today we are doing our museum visit.Family outing. We get to have the baby tryout his new stroller. This week is just flying by. This is my last full week off. Next week we have three days of workshops. Then the next week we go back. Then the next week the children come back. Summer vacation will be over. Have a blessed day today and remember that I love you. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Car Pirates

I have now returned from the car pirates or auto mechanics as they currently like to be called and I am told I need a new gas tank. Cant replace the part, car too old. Must order a brand new gas tank. Lucky me! Then they want to charge me 360.00 for putting it on. All of this nonsense will take place Friday morning which they assure me will only take a couple of hours. I'm sure I'm paying for somebody's vacation this weekend. For sure its not mine.

Other than that everything is fine. I got the registration. I have to call the insurance company still. No oil change or anything. They said my car is a danger! Get it out of here! We cant work on it! It has a gas leak! Needless to say with that hype I immediately went to the mechanic next door and was given the good news. Oh well. It will be fixed and I'll be ready for the next problem. What are you going to do when your car is 16 years old.

OK so back to me not being arrogant. I realize that because I keep talking about it I must be arrogant to some extent or it wouldnt bother me and someone wouldnt have said that to me. I'm working on not being arrogant. I want to be more humble. I'm working on it. Also on glorifying you. I worry about when I say really good things about you that it sounds like idolization. Its not. I do have three pictures of you near my bed, I will admit to that. I use to sleep with one picture in the bed but not anymore. I put it under the pillow. It was a picture of you and me together. I dont have posters or anything on the wall. I'm not a child. Nor am I obsessed.As I say this I think "thou doest protest too much"...Needless to say I need to just stop while I am still making sense. All is well and I am preparing to babysit around 4pm, which means I'm going to take a nap. Ciao.

Trust

I just felt an overwhelming sense of need to say that I am not arrogant. I have been told that before and I am sensitive to that. I just have an overwehlming sense of awe whenever I'm around you. I'm humbled that you still want to catch my attention, to give me a wink, to maybe talk to me or just even know that I am in the room. That I make a difference in your world is amazing to me. I am not glorifying you or giving you super powers, I'm just in awe. I know you are a man and thats fine by me. I'm just impressed that you have stuck with me this long through the craziness. I'm impressed everyday that you might be reading something I wrote. That you care what I think about. That I make a difference in your life. Its really quite amazing if you think about it. Just a note to let you know what I am thinking. Now I must get ready to go get this stuff done to my car. Bye.

Good MOrning

Good MOrning Lord. I am humbled this morning. I am blessed that you think enough of me to want me to spend another day on this earth doing your will and working towardsbringing others to Christ. I am convicted with the need to bring others to Christ. To welcome others, to speak the good news to others. I shy away from that because I feel I am not the one to do that. I have such a messed up life who am I to tell others what to do. I am reminded that it is not for me to judge but for God. My story is to help others and I am a witness of God's grace and mercy and his lovingkindness. The things that could have come upon me and didnt I thank God for. Lord I am convicted today in my reading to be a witness to someone. I dont know who but you will let that happen.What you want me to say I dont know but I am ready. Thank you Lord for loving me and having something for me to do in your kingdom here on earth. Thank you for needing me.

Good Morning Sweetheart. I am destined for a humble day today. I will spend time getting my car up to par. Brakes, oil change, muffler maybe. Car registration, insurance. I'm trying to make sure I am prepared for the fall. I pray for my pastor and his congregation today. I pray for their love and development in knowledge and keen insight. Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone special. I love you.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Fun

Today was just so much fun. We got there around 8:45 We had to park a mile and a half away. It took us thirty minutes to walk to the place. We got in line at 9:15 and then we were in line until around 2:30. It was so hot. We talked to the people around us and that helped make time go faster. One of the people in our little group in line was picked to go for the interview. The test were very specific. You either knew the answer or you didnt. They didnt tell you  the correct answer or tell you what you needed to pass. Out of our group of about 300 people only 10 people passed the movie quiz and about 20 -passed the general quiz. Even though I didnt pass I enjoyed the experience. We must have walked about four miles or more today. I would do it again, it was so much fun.

I'm sorry I sound so arrogant. I am humbled more than anythnig with you. I dont feel superior or in control of anything. I'm not trying to be arrogant. I'm dont want that to be your persona of me. I am in awe. I have found my self and my strength because of your counseling. You have guided me and keep me close. You believe in me and I believe you know that good in in our future. These are all words. Words, words, words. Actions speak louder than words. Have a good night and be blessed. I love.you.

Good Morning

Good MOrning Lord. Thank you for your blessings. Thank you for everything in my life. Thank you for giving me the knowledge that your peace declares me an overcomer over any situation. I submit to self control. Thank you Lord for teaching me self control. Your will be done in my life. Lord you know the things that I need and what I desire. Lord you know my heart and my mind. You know that I pray for peace of mind. Thank you Lord for teaching me how to pray and to be at peace.Stay close today Lord. Help me to handle any stressful situations that may arise. Remove any torment and worry and replace it with peace. Put my mind at ease Lord. Thank you for being my friend Lord. I love you Lord.

Good Morning Sweetheart. Today's the day! We go out to have fun today. Whatever happens, happens. I'm so excited!I pray for peace of mind today. I pray for focus too.  I also was thinking how faithful you have been. As I complained about two years and no improvement. I have to remember that its been two years and you are still there, still trying, still tolerant of me. You are an amazing man. Many would have walked away by now for sure, but you are still here. You have been faithful. I love you. Have a blessed day today and be a blessing to someone special.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Good NIght

Well today is over.

Tomorrow I will be trying out for the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Show in Schaumburg. Lizzie and I are going in the morning. We'll just see what happens. We are both off and we are trivia fans. Who knows what will happen. I may have to use you as one of my life lines.

Well I have to get to bed now. We have been studying Trival Pursuit and The Millionaire Game all day.

How was your day today? Did things go well? Are you feeling well? I hope you are and I hope everything is better. Take care and have a good night. I love you.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Psalm 3. Lord you are the lifter up of my head. You are a shield for me. I will not fear those that come against me. Thank you for lifting me up Lord. Thank you  for loving me Lord. Thank you Lord.

Good Morning Sweetheart. Thank you for being a part of my life. You are a blessing to me. You brighten my day. You are handsome. You mean so much to me. You are important. You are valuable, you are a precious jewel. I believe in you and I love you. God loves you and so do I. You are an overcomer today. There is nothing to difficult for you today. Have a blessed day today and be a blessing to someone special. I love you.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Maturity

Your sermon was very good.

It touched on many many areas that I need to work on.

We went out to Mi Tierra's afterwards to celebrate Gary and Judy's return. It was about 25 -30 people. It was fun. I hadnt been out in so long. I have been chained to babysitting and working. Then I was sick and chained to the house for a week.

This was a very good day for me.

Flirting. Whispering sweet nothings in one's ear.  Making someone feel loved.  MMMmmmmm.

Now I wait until Friday. I count down the days.

Have a good night. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special.

Good Morning

Whatever you call me to do you equip me with all that I need to do it. Thank You Lord for knowing what I need, what I am capable of doing and for stretching me out of my comfort zone. You know me Lord and you know what I can do. You wouldnt have me do something that you didnt think I could do. I am willing to accomplish whatever you have called me to do. Your will is my desire. I love you Lord.

Good Morning Sweetheart. We are blessed today in more ways than I can imagine. I look forward to seeing you soon. No baby and my own car. What a glorious day.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Beautiful Sunrise

Today was beautiful. The sunrise was gorgeous. The wind was chilly. The last time I was out there was two years ago. I was preparing to student teach and go to London.

When I think about our "relationship" I am struck by the similarity. When I think about where we were two years ago its really at the same spot. There seemed to be strides taken, then nothing. Are we closer, are we the same, are we farther apart. I would like to say we are different yet the same. I'm confused. All I know right now is that I have to trust God. If I trust and believe in God then what is to be will be, what I am to do I will do. Trust in God. Have a good night and I will see you in the morning. I have to start practicing, I'm reading next week. I love you.

Friday, August 11, 2006

I Should Be sleeping

Hello again.

Its been twelve days since I last saw you and I think I'm a little excited. Its going to be between 55-65 degrees this morning. I will be layered.

I dont have much to day except I am excited to see you.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. I am up early. I like how that feels. Thank you for waking me up today. Thank you Lord for showing me the way. My day feels purposeful. I keep praying and I am often relieved that God is wiser than my prayers. I know that new locations are in the future and I am excited about my future. Each day is a gift from God. I cherish that. Thank you God for loving me. Thank you Lord for doing a new thing with me. Lord you know my heart of heart.

Good MOrning Sweetheart. I'm up early again. I'm excited about that. I have to get my car checked out today. Errands to run. I'm going to watch the sunrise in the a.m. so I need to get to bed early so that I can get up early. I think I like sunrise better than sunset. New possibilities, a new day is forming, anything is possible. What a lovely day its suppose to be also. No rain in sight, not to hot, I'm excited about my future. Take Care today and have a wonderful day today. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special. I love you.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you Lord for your grace. You have given me another day to get things right. To worship you and to love you. Thank you Lord. You are worthy to be praised. Worthy, worthy, worthy. Again Lord I am at Jeremiah 33. The sure and certain promise. It is for me, for everyone, to know that you can, and you are able, and you keep your promises. Your word is true. Lord I am also concerned about those in nursing homes and confined to their homes. Lord I reach out to them with prayer, encouragement and hugs. Let them know they are useful. Thank you Lord for all that you do for me today and everyday.

Good Morning Sweetheart. Today I am wondering why I have gotten into this routine of staying up late and sleeping late. I didn't get up until 8:30. I believe its because I was sick and just slept as much as I could. Now I am recovering and my usual habit of getting up when the alarm goes off at 5:15 is gone. I still keep the alarm set but I so easily just turn and turn it off. Then I don't wake again until 8 or so.  I'm trying to be on a schedule of 9 and 9. Have a little patience with me. This has been a rough week for me. I will continue to work on that schedule. I wont give up, no not never, ever, ever. I hope you have a blessed day today. Love somebody today. Show extra kindness today. Be that candle in a dark place for someone today. I love you.

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Hobbies

What are your hobbies? What do you like to do, when you have time to do something that you like to do? Do you paint, play chess, play cards, put together model airplanes? Maybe you like fishing, camping, the rugged outdoors? Do you have a collection of things? What is it that occupies your spare time? What interest you? What motivates you? Do you collect clocks, trucks, cars, ships, boats, shoes, belts, cuff links? What is it that you like? Do you do crossword puzzles, sudoku, anagrams, cryptograms? Is trivia your thing? What is it that you like? I wonder, I wonder, I wonder. I know gardening is a passion but what else. What do you like, what do you like? Its just one of the small things in life that keep us together.

Well on that note it is time to bid good night. Sweet Dreams until we meet again in the A.M. I love you.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you Lord for all that you do for me. Thank you for waking me up this morning. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy another day in your presence. Lord help me to stay focused on the big picture. I have many things pulling for my attention. Things I want to do and things others want me to do. Through perseverance in my prayer life I seek guidance from you towards the direction I should go in each situation. Lord guide me and direct me. I give you the control and I trust your judgment. Keep me close Lord. You are worthy to be praised and I worship you daily. Your will be done in my life Lord. There is no other greater than you.

'Good Morning Sweetheart. I am so happy to be here today. As I try to plan out the rest of my month, I have so many things to do. My to do list just seems to keep getting longer and longer. My girls, who I had dreaded the thought of them returning, have actually be a tremendous help. They have cleaned out their rooms and half of the garage. They are proving to be a big help in getting the house in order. What was once two selfish self centered girls, they have gone off into the world and come back as two young ladies, helpful and considerate. Pinch me, I must be dreaming. I will enjoy this for as long as it lasts. Life's experiences have a way of humbling us all. Today my goal is to get the extra keys made. I put the trunk key in the lock and it broke off. Now I cant get into my trunk. I need extra keys. I know, I should have done it sooner but I didn't. Today is the day. On that note I am off to get ready. I think I know where the locksmith is in my area, I just have to check on the hours. Have a blessed day. Try to enjoy yourself today. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone very special. I love you.

Tuesday, August 8, 2006

Hi

Oh it feels so good to feel better.

I was thinking about you today. Especially when you were trying to start a conversation during the baptism classes. That was so cute. Good thoughts of you flowed through my head today. Good thoughts of me flowed today. What are we to do?

TRust in God

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for your blessings this morning. I am better each day. I thank you for loving me and knowing that I love you. I realize that I must take better care of myself if I am to be of any good to anyone else. Before I can love others I must love myself. I am your workmanship and I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

" Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

I must take responsibility for myself and allow others to take responsibility for themselves. I can't be responsible for the whole world or even my family. I can't rescue them from everything. Lord help me to make healthy choices. Give me the courage and strength to say no when it is in my best interest and its according to your will.  I try to fix it all, I try to make it better, I find that I am the one that winds up lost and broke. Help me Lord to help myself. That seems so selfish, but if I don't take care of myself then I'm not going to be able to help anyone. I keep my confidence in you Lord.

Good Morning Sweetheart. How are you feeling this morning? Do you have a lot to accomplish today? What's on the agenda? I hope that all of your plans are successful and that today is a wonderfully blessed and satisfying day. Each day I feel a little bit better. When you get better, you forget how bad you felt the day before and look forward to feeling better and better. Have a blessed day and be a blessing to someone very special. I love you.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

    -George Burns

Monday, August 7, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. thank you for today. Each day I feel a little better the the last. I'm not there yet but I'm not where I was. Lord I know that you r know me and you know my heart. Others cannot really know me unless I  choose to share myself- If I choose to share my thoughts, my ideas and my feelings. I am who and what I am. My life is a mixture of my choices, wants and desires. I don't have the usual habits, drinking, gambling, drugs, cigarettes, sexual activity. I don't have them now. I have other things not as obvious. Right now I'm concentrating on my health. I'm no good to anybody if I an unhealthy. I don't know a lot of things but there are some things that I do know.  Lord I ask you, what is it you want me to do. I don't want to be a phony. I don't want others to think of me as a phony. I struggle to do your will and to keep your word in my life. I may not be perfect but I'm better than I was. Search my heart Lord and continue to challenge me. Keep me hungry for your word and your will. Build your home within me. Keep me close to you Lord.

Good Morning Sweetheart. Today is one day closer to full recovery. Each day I'm a little better. Please forgive me and not be intolerant. I know people always like to judge just how ill someone is and what they can and cannot do. Please don't. God uses us all to help build his community in different ways. You are on my heart and my mind. Have a blessed day today and be a blessing to someone. I love you.

Sunday, August 6, 2006

I Just Want to Be There

I listened to today's sermon/worship this evening. I tried this morning but it still wasnt on by 10:30 so I went back to bed. I had gotten up like at 10 so I wouldnt miss it, but I guess it wasnt for me to hear right then. I spent the day in bed. I feel somewhat better. I so sorry that I missed church. Its not just the service its the whole experience. Sometimes you just need to be there to get the full impact.

No, I dont smoke. I gave it up for the last time in 2000. Havent smoked simce. Even then I probably smoked a pack a week. I figured why keep smoking if I am just smoking to be smoking. I had a CT scan of my sinuses. Truth be told I never returned for the results. I scheduled the appointment but I didnt go. I was hoping to have them removed because I seem to get a seroius infection about four times a year. Whenever the seasons start to change. I seem to break down when I complete a project too. I think I hold it together until the end then I just collapse. I'm going to call and get the appointment to find out about the CT scan.

My other daughter came home yesterday. What a crazy thing that was. Next month her sister will be home. I had an empty nest for a while, now they are back. With one extra, Austin Michael.

Well I am going back to bed. I had a shower, washed the sick off of me. The fever is gone, the rest will improve as time goes by. Be blessed and have a good evening. I love. you.

 

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. I pray for deliverance from this virus. I feel horrible. My balance is off,  My head is stuffy, my ears, my throat, all are off balance.

Good Morning Sweetheart. I will not be driving today. I will be listening. I will miss you.Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special today. I love you.

Saturday, August 5, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Perserverance in Prayer. That is what I am doing. I will continue to expect the best, I know that I will feel better. This is jsut temporary. This sinus, ear, nose,  infection, virus, whatever it is.I'm relying on you Lord to see me through.

Good Morning Sweetheart. I'm sick. Flu, cold, something. Drink lots of fluids and I will get well.Be blessed. I love you.

Friday, August 4, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. I thank you for all that you do for me. I thank you Lord for sending your ministering spirits out to help and assist us in our lives. Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to talk about things that needed to be discussed. I brought up the moneythey owed me in a very businesslike manner. We set some terms out and I for one feel better about it. Thank you Lord. Today my family will be flying. Lord watch over the skies, protect them on their journey.Let no weapon formed against them prosper. Keep them in the shadow of your glory. We love you Lord. You are worthy to be praised and worshipped.

Good MOrning Sweetheart. Today is the day. It's finally here.I look forward to a smooth morning. Be blessed and have a wonderful day. I love you.

Thursday, August 3, 2006

Its a Sad Evening

I just heard today that the funeral was tonight.

She was a good woman.

I know its hard for her family. I will pray for comfort and the opportunity to go through the mourning process.

Life often gives us challenges that we think we can't handle, but, live another day and the challenge isnt the same.

Have a blessed evening and sleep well.

Good MOrning

Good MOrning Lord. Thank you Lord for your vision. You are renewing me everyday. I thank you for your strength and support. You have given me another day to get things right. Lord my vision is too small because of my pain. I've focused on my lack, lack of power, lack of unity, lack of an army, lack of a nation. Your words to me this morning is that my vision is too small. I need to Enlarge my vision. Isaiah 54:4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.

Expand my tent pegs out. My tents are too comfortable. Expand. I believe I can fly.

My heart has been calmed. As I read on from Isaiah 54:5-8 I am restored. I find a new breeze of strength. Thank you Lord for loving me.

Good Morning Sweetheart. Today is the last full day of the academy. Yeah. I think I have an ear infection, whatever it is I feel yucky. Of course we have rain today to help my travels this morning. The parents are coming today. Have a blessed day today. I love you.

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Good Night

Good Night

I hear a lot of scare tacticts from

target, the mayor and retail association on the news. Why is it such a fearful thing to do the right thing by poor people? Now they are scaring the people with property tax increases. Businesses like the big retailers better realize they must make amends with the cnsumers and their workers. Its so sad to see fear being sold and bought by the bucket.

I think I'm coming down with a sinus infection. I am going to drink some tea and get some rest. Good Night. I love you.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord.Thank you for your grace and your mercy. Thank you for everything you have done in my life. Thank you for allowing me to praise and worship you. Today Lord I am looking forward to spending time with the youth. I know some are rebellious but your work continues to help me forgive one another and to understand that I may be the cause of some of their anxiety. Teach me how to speak so that they hear and to commit myself to train and teach in the way that is necessary for them to understand. Don't let me be rebellious. Bring peace to our situation. Thank you Lord for bringing a healthy relationship into this situation. I will not be hard on them, I will not be discouraging, I will not make them feel inferior and frustrated. I will not break their spirit. Father help me to to stand in the gap for the wrong decisions they have made and to encourage and wait until they come to their senses and escape from the enemy. Reconcile my heart to the rebellious child. Thank you Lord for watching over me and my children. Thank You Lord.

Good Morning Sweetheart. May God bless you this morning and give you a kiss. This morning was about sending out the disciples and praying for a rebellious teen. Discipleship Cost. What am I to do.God is good and his mercy endures forever. Have a blessed day and be a blessing to someone very special. I love you.

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Hi

What a day. It is so hot outside. I tried my air conditioner and it worked, somewhat. I was able to drive home in partial comfort. Its not perfect but I wasn't dripping wet either. Today was my last Tuesday. Three more days. I have been looking for a vacation online. I want to go somewhere cool. Both girls have had a vacation this summer. I was thinking of taking one by myself. I know I definitely need a break and I will get away before school starts.  I am torn between the vacation or the membership at the health club. I like the idea of the health club because its year round while the vacation is just a temporary thing. I'm really leaning towards the health club.

I have looked at the itinerary for the events for August and I can tell you now.

No for this Saturday. I have to babysit while they go and pick up my daughter in Campaign.

Yes for Sunday Church. Unity Sunday.

Yes for Jazz in the Park. Now that my other daughter will be here she can babysit if the weather is too bad. Yes for Early Morning Sunrise Worship. I have already signed up for the bus.

Maybe yes for Jesus in the Park. I have never been so this would be my first time but I'm thinking of going away that weekend, if I do decide to go somewhere. I might go Labor Day weekend though.

I just finished watching Bishop Sheen. He comes on Tuesdays so I don't get to see him that often. He is a very down to earth, tell it like it is type of man. I am very impressed.

I am going to wash a few loads, towels and stuff, then I am off to bed. I was up early and I am exhausted. The heat is so cumulative. Day after day we have this oppressive heat. Thank God for air conditioning.

Well have a blessed evening and remember that God loves you and so do I.

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you Lord. Thank You Lord. Thank You Lord. I just want to thank you Lord. You have been so good. You've been so good. You've been so good. I just want to thank you Lord. You led me to my keys. I didnt even put them there but you led me to my keys. Lord does this woman hate me so much that she would sabotage me like that. Why would she put the keys in the mail pile? Lord, I dont want  to believe that it was deliberate. I would like to think that it was a mistake. Thank you Lord for waking me up at 4am to think about paying a certain bill. As I looked through the pile, near the bottom were my keys. I know I didnt put them there. I rarely go in that pile. I ask why Lord and I realize as I ask that there is no answer coming. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers.

Good Morning Sweetheart. I found my keys. Of course today I will definately make it my business to get a second set. I was so upset over that. Thank God I had my brother's car to drive. That has just released so much tension. I found them around 4:30 this morning. I went to sleep last night frustrated. God woke me at 4am and put it on my mind to pay this certain bill I had put off for a while. I got up looking for the bill. I kept going through the pile and couldnt find the bill. As I neared the bottom of the pile I lifted an envelope and there on top of a magazine were my keys. I was so excited. I know my mother put it there with her obssessive need to keep the counter clean. She probably didnt notice that they were there. I have to say that because I dont want to believe it was deliberate. I'm happy today and that's all that matters to me. I'm off to complete my last Tuesday with this program. Lord let this week fly by. Be blessed today. I love you.

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