A Prayer of Despair

Feeling defeated, without hope, wanting to give up. Despair is a time when darkness seems to have become our closest friend. When we experience a series of losses. Not just one or two, but a series of losses, we seem to feel defeated. We think that we can't get back up again. We can't continue hoping for anything good to happen in our lives. We give up on the dream. On the possibility of someday making it come true.

 Psalm 88:1-5
Oh Lord, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you.

May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry.
For my soul is full of trouble and my life draws near the grave.

I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am like a man without strength. I am set apart with the dead ...

God the thought of despair being the last thing I believe in is very disheartening.  I have to jump to Psalm 91 and remind myself that I have angels before me and around me. I am loved by The Lord Almighty and that You Lord sent your only Son to take on my sins long before I even knew I had sins. You save me from myself long before I knew I needed saving.

Psalm 91:1-7
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.

Surely he will save you from the fowler's  snare and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand,  but it will not come near you.

Father God I wonder when, I wonder if, I seem to have mor doubt that faith. I see myself in the same situation and wonder if this is how its suppose to be or have I missed my chance. Do I stay in this or am I suppose to realize that things have changed. What is going on? What is it that I am suppose to do? Let it happen Lord.

Psalm 90:12
 Teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Lord don't let everything out of me be such doom and gloom. I pray for peace and happiness. Comfort and love. Let that be a decree on my life, how ever long it may be.

Fishing

What is really important to you? What makes you feel important? How much money is enough for you? How much success is enough? Where does your recognition end? Are we as a people only concerned with what is important to other people? Can we remember that Jesus' teaching had little to do with any of those things. Jesus learned how to be great by being small here on earth. He had many followers but he was not impressed with the fame and fortune that went with it. I think we are fishing. Trying to find that balance that allows us to keep our minds and hearts on Jesus and also balance our interaction with the world to clothe and feed and provide for our daily needs. We do this every day, wondering if we have balanced it well enough. Did the scales tip too far over to the world this time? Are we totally involved with Jesus that we forget to help those right in front of us? Harden not our hearts Lord. Help us to love and forgive and give from our hearts to each other. Keep us in love. If you do nothing else, keep us in love with each other. I thank you for that Lord because we have very little else to hold on to at this stage of the relationship. Be blessed tonight and be a blessing to someone. I love you.

Always trying something new.

Always Trying Something New. Will this work or not, lets see. I found a new way to enter my posts, my heart felt desires, my dreams, my wishes. I am constantly trying to make my blog look more stylish and up to date. I really don't spend a lot of time on the design aspect, but I would like to spend more time making it look better. Its so weak and plain in its design. Its Spring and I need a change. Summer is actually here and I know that this is going to be a very different summer for me. I plan on making it different. The problem is that I don't know how I got here so I don't know how to get back to this point.

Thank You

Thank you for such a thoughtful and truthful bible study. I know that we have a lot to do to reach out and teach our youth. Their anger, their frustration at not being able to do the things that others seem to do with ease, all of these obstacles are a daily challenge. I agree that too much has been allowed to go under the radar. We have allowed them to be more disrespectful and allowed them to do so poorly in school. Sit down with your child, even your teenager, and find out what they are doing in school and help them. I thank you for caring so much. You are a good man and you have a good heart. Your intentions are in the right place. You keep me wishing you were in my life more than you are right now. I refuse to believe that God has taken me this far to just stop right here. I know there is more to this story.


Good night, God Bless you, I love you.

Good Morning and God Bless You Today

Thank You Lord for your blessings today. I am awake, in my right mind, able to dress myself, process information and follow through on responsibilities.
Oh I just remembered, I have to email that lesson plan. Grade level meeting today. Staff meeting in the am. Formal Observation this week. Lord I thank you that I have responsibilities. Keep me focused and on target this week. Let my mind stay on you.

Anger

You seemed angry today. If you know what people are going to do, why are you surprised when they do it? Sometimes too much knowledge isn't good for you. Leave some mystery to the situation. If I knew for sure you were going to be some place I would make a real effort to be there. Too many times I have attended events and you weren't there. I though you would be out with some of your friends enjoying your day, not at the young adults event. I had decided to attend then I changed my mind. I couldn't find anything I wanted to wear. Why am I explaining this to you. I don't know. I want to attend as many events as possible. The summer line up looks good. I plan on attending as many as possible. I don't know if there is a connection or a reason but I am still writing. I wonder what to get the man who doesn't want anything in particular. Let us never lose focus on why we are here. Good Night and God Bless You' I pray that you have a peaceful sleep. Be blessed and  be a blessing, I love you.

Clarity

The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

 ¹When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. ²Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. ³They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. ⁴All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues^[a] as the Spirit enabled them.  ⁵Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. ⁶When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard them speaking in his own language. ⁷Utterly amazed, they asked: "Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? ⁸Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language? ⁹Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, ¹⁰Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome ¹¹ (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs-we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!" ¹²Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, "What does this mean?"
 ¹³Some, however, made fun of them and said, "They have had too much wine.



When I read this text I think of clarity. How is it that you can now understand someone or something that you didnt understand before? What made it clear? Clarity, transparency, Freedom from ambiguity. What do we really mean? What are we really trying to say? Make it clear. Crystal Clear. Clarity, an understanding that is free from confusion and ambiguity. Lucid, distinct, appropriate. There is an understanding of the message. Make it clear, no confusion. Clarity. I want to understand what I hear so that there is no confusion. God sent the Holy Spirit to rest upon us and it provided clarity, an understanding of each other, even when there was none before. Clarity. 

Happy Birthday to You!

Praise the Lord you have seen another year.
God bless you today. I'm very proud of you.
I pray that you have many more to celebrate.
Imagine that you have all that you could ever hope
for today. Today you are allowed to be without bitterness,
bad temper, spite, resentment and ill will. This is your day
today. Your birthday. Imagine that whatever you wish for today,
It will come true. You can have whatever you wish for today.
Its your Birthday! Make this your special day. Walk in love today.

Already

I look at the time and its already 10 o'clock. I finished the ribbon pinning ceremony at 7'o'clock or round about then and I was on my way home straight away. After just arriving a little past 8pm and then finding my way to some dinner and rest I find that its now 10:15. Just like that, its 10:15pm.
Good Lord now its 10 pm and I am feeling that its late and I should know better. How did I let the time slip away from me? What happened? What shall I do?
Our ceremony went well tonight. The eighth graders performed well. Seventh grade, as usual, lacked the enthusiasm. None the less, the students were drawn to tears and their parents were elated to see their young ones preparing for the time honored ceremony of ribbon pinning. Thank God we are done with this part. Practice was such a bother. They never once got it right during practice. Thank God they were able to do it right when it mattered. Its amazing how they are able to do what is necessary when the time comes for them to do it right.

Anyway, I just finished Sherlock Holmes. I saw it in the theatre, but now I have it with Netflix. There is not much to do after the ceremony. I am ready to call it a day and start over tomorrow. Good Night. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone. God bless you and I love you.

Peaceful Sleep

Father God I ask you to bring every thought, every imagination, and every dream into the captivity and obedience of Jesus Christ. I thank you that even as I sleep tonight my heart will counsel me and reveal to me your purpose and your plan. Thank you for the sweet and restoring sleep that I will receive tonight. I cast all of my cares, my doubts and my fears on you. I hear your promise that I am your beloved and that I will have sweet sleep. Therefore my heart is glad, and my spirit rejoices. My body and soul are at rest and I am confident in the Lord. Be Blessed tonight and be a blessing to someone. I love you.
Proverbs 3:1-6
My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,

2 for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you prosperity.

3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.

4 Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

The Daily Peck

Since you are feeling like this is a peck on the cheek as we head on out of the door, I shall send my peck on to you with much love and kindness. If I were sending you on for the day to tackle all the elements that shall come to you that day I would not just give you a peck. It would have to be a long drawn out hug, kiss and then a peck. As a teacher you must understand that you have great wisdom and intelligence that continues to need nurturing. You have to assume a great responsibility and accountability for what happens in your daily coming and goings. You are judged by a higher standard and with greater severity than other people. I thank you for taking on that role. Its hard. Its challenging. That's why you can never leave the house with just a peck. You have to be prayed up, loved up, encouraged, and comforted because when you get out that door, there will be many slings and arrows that will try to defeat you and distract and discourage you but if you are well loved and encouraged then they will not harm you in any way. So take this peck and everything else that comes with it. With much love and blessings. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone. Good Night. I love you.

Reconnect

It is so important to remember that they are children that are learning how to be responsible or irresponsible citizens in our community. I have really made an effort not to be so mean to them. We have four weeks left and I do not plan on having a breakdown before then. We are preparing for the ribbon pinning on Friday and its absolutely insane. I didn't call the kids insane, just the procedures and their actions. I have to check myself daily, hourly, every minute when I am thinking about how I interact with these children. I don't want to be a hindrance to their well being. I know if I continue to be aware of my actions I will continue to check myself. I though about giving you a beautiful night gown to say good night, but then I think you already have a good visual going now. Good Night. Be Blessed.

Brevity

Lord, how do I become a ministry partner? How do I become a partner in this relationship so that I am able to grow and be a positive instead of a negative. I must renew my fellowship. Father God, I have to perform, believe and confess that I am a disciple of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I do know more word and have more faith than I admit to knowing. Lord, I pray that I never take a single moment for granted. I pray that I never allow life to get so busy that I miss out on life. Lord let me not waste your time or energy on nonsense. I have to think on this some more. There's a change happening and I want to know what it is and to be a part of your life whatever role I play. God Bless You today and I pray that you will always be blessed and be a blessing to someone. I love you.

Sunday

Now this is really bad. I was already in bed. Had to get up to get thism done.

Saturday

Fifteen minutes before the day is over.
I made a commitment to post every day and I will post every day in May. I may have been challenged these past few days but I have not been defeated. I will do what I have to do to make sure that I am writing.

Brevity

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

My new source of information is allowing me to be much calmer with the children. We are preparing for the ribbon pinning on Friday. Another year has gone by. I cant wait until June 18th.

I know I have kept it short for the past two days but I am blessed that I have not gone to sleep and didnt write anything. So good night and be blessed.

My Identity

Who am I in Christ Jesus? God knows who I am. He called me and my name is written in his book.
I am a loving and caring child of God. God says to me I knew you all along. I knew you were mine.
I am loved and I know it. Thank You Lord for loving me. I love you. I love you. I love you. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

EVERYDAY

I said I would write every day, no matter what. I was just about to turn off the light and go to bed when I saw the computer with the My Trinity blog up. I had to do something today that was not very pleasant. I took on the landlord role and evicted someone. Now its time to go to court. How is it that someone can live in the apartment for 6 months and not pay anything and then want to call me wrong for putting their stuff out. Im not the storage unit for them. I'm not related to them. This is truly not working. I cant wait to sell this property. Sweet Baby Jesus lets finish what we started with this place. Good Night and God bless. I love you.

Rebuild

Rebuild the family, rebuild the home. The key to our culture is the family. The family is key to our very existence. Families determine the future. Through the family, the Earth will be blessed. I liked your music tonight. You were very much on target with your message. God Bless You tonight and I still say I love you and pray for you daily.

Taste and see that the Lord is good.

I'm exhausted. 15 hr days are getting the best of me, even if its once a week.
Good Night.

Honor The Lord

Honor the Lord, Our God. Father God deliver us from habits that are detrimental to us. From being late. From trying to handle too much stuff in a small amount of time. I take this time to write and honor you but I know that I am rushing to get out of here too. I know that time is important in my daily challenges. Lord help me to better manage my time so that I am not anxious about the things that must be done and that I have planned better and as a result, I am not dealing with this spirit of late all the time. Help me to plan better. Thank You God. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone today. I love you.kiel

Ezekiel 21

Happy Mothering Day

Thank You God for allowing us to have another day. We have to nurture each other. We have to validate each other. Its only valid if we both are losing something to gain something. We must value each others' presence. Dont take anything for granted. Swallow our pride and jump in head first.
I am on day ten of my daily commitment to my journal. How am I doing so far. One day at a time. One day at a time.
God bless you. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone. I love you.

Rebellious Teenagers

Father God I ask you to change the hearts of the rebellious and disobedient teenagers. Let them come freely and quickly to turn in their weapons. Let them come to free themselves from the bondage of their slavery. Let them develop a free spirit that honors and values their family and community. Father God forgive us for the mistakes that we have made out of our own unresolved hurts and selfishness. Bind up and heal the broken hearts that continue to hurt and cause hurt. Help us to forgive and understand one another. Help us to hear one another. Help us to feel for one another. We ask for new mercies daily. Help us Father God to find them through you. God help us to reconcile with people in need, basically , all of us. We all have struggles. We have to teach each other how to do things. How to live socially with out fighting about everything, all the time. So Lord, forgive our children, watch over them, protect them, show them the right way, make it work for them, let them see a future with promise. God Bless You today. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special. I love you.

God's Love for All Creatures

Thank you God for loving me. We have to do a new thing.
Everything must change. The old ways are gone and the new things are here.

Psalm 67
1 May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make his face shine upon us,
Selah

2 that your ways may be known on earth,
your salvation among all nations.

3 May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.

4 May the nations be glad and sing for joy,
for you rule the peoples justly
and guide the nations of the earth.
Selah

5 May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.

6 Then the land will yield its harvest,
and God, our God, will bless us.

7 God will bless us,
and all the ends of the earth will fear him.

May God Bless you today. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone. I love you.

How has the Lord brought Light into our little corner of the World?

Isiah 8:11-17
11 The LORD spoke to me with his strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people. He said:

12 "Do not call conspiracy
everything that these people call conspiracy [a] ;
do not fear what they fear,
and do not dread it.

13 The LORD Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy,
he is the one you are to fear,
he is the one you are to dread,

14 and he will be a sanctuary;
but for both houses of Israel he will be
a stone that causes men to stumble
and a rock that makes them fall.
And for the people of Jerusalem he will be
a trap and a snare.

15 Many of them will stumble;
they will fall and be broken,
they will be snared and captured."

16 Bind up the testimony
and seal up the law among my disciples.

17 I will wait for the LORD,
who is hiding his face from the house of Jacob.
I will put my trust in him.


Father God we struggle with the harsh realities of the truth every day. We are challenged with making sure that the children are cared for and protected. Lord today I'm not screaming at them. I pray that I can keep that promise. I know the struggles that they face and I am part of the problem as well as part of the solution. Allow me to not get caught up in this easy blame game. Its not their fault. So I take one cause today. Their PE time. Illinois has mandated that they have gym and we do not have gym at our school. So Lord as teachers we have taken time from our other classes to provide them with some time, once a week to play ball, jump rope, and just relax. How did this become so important? We know the importance of exercise, especially after having some of these lunches, so why cut the PE budget of all things? Lord I don't even know why I am taking this on. For the last two years our kids have not had gym. Well Lord we bring it all to you. Our children are frustrated in the classroom. It makes it difficult for me if I have nothing to offer them as an incentive. We have to help them focus and expel some energy. So I will continue to give them time in the school day to do just that. Its like we are just keeping the kids in holding cells.Lord knows they get on my nerves sometimes but I do understand the constraints associated with them. Lord don't let me miss the big picture, what's really important. This seems like a small problem but it affects the focus and productivity of the student. When they don't release the energy in a positive way they will release it in a negative way. Thank You Lord for allowing me to just release that. Thank You Lord. God Bless You today. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone. I love you.

Having a Spirit Controlled Life

My life is not to be controlled by the flesh. All of the thoughts rushing through my mind right now can side track me from my purpose. I have to think about them but they do not control or own me. My job, the millions of cuts that are coming due to budget constraints. My homelife, my dad's building and his health concerns. My own personal life, health and happiness. All of these thoughts can consume me and get me off focus of a life that is lived in the Spirit. I am a conqueror and I gain victory through Christ Jesus. I will not let myself be overcome wby evil, but I will overcome evil with good. All things of God are good. I will put on the full armor of God today. The light of His light will shine in me. His tongue shall be my words and His clothes will comfort and protect me. I make no provisions for myself, God will provide. I will be free of worries and doubt. Unwavering in my love of Christ and my desire to do His will. Thank You Jesus for loving me and continuing to walk with me on my journey.
God bless you today. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone. I love you.

Having a Discerning Heart

Father God thank you for creating within me a wise and discerning heart, so that I can distinguish between right and wrong. I continue to ask you to guide me and show me the way. Lord you have given me insight into how to choose the right way. God's way. Lord I pray that I am able to grow more in love to discern what is best and pure and blameless. Father God I trust in you with all my heart and I do not lean unto my own understanding. Your ways are not my ways. I acknowledge you and know that you make my path straight. Your word is a lamp unto my feet. You will guide me and cause me to find favor at my place of employment, at home, or wherever I may be. I will be blessed going in and blessed going out. I will walk with God and know that God's way is the right way. I pray that I am filled with the knowledge of your will Lord. I pray for spiritual wisdom and understanding and discernment. I know that your thoughts are not my thoughts and that I am not privy to the big picture but Lord I pray that I have a sense of calm assurance that your way is the right way. You know all things and I believe and have faith that in all things, they work together for the good of those that love the Lord. Thank You Lord for your new mercies each and every day. I love you Lord and I will continue to seek you daily and desire to grow closer and closer to you. Your thoughts, your will, your way. I seek that for my life. I pray that I will be ready. Thank you God for loving me and caring about me. I am prepared to walk in love, to give my all to whatever the journey requires. I know that it will not be easy but with you God my burden is light. I listen to your Lord. When you are ready God I will be ready. God bless you today. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone. I love you.

Luke 21:25-33
25"There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. 26Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. 27At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. 28When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near."

29He told them this parable: "Look at the fig tree and all the trees. 30When they sprout leaves, you can see for yourselves and know that summer is near. 31Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that the kingdom of God is near.

32"I tell you the truth, this generation[a] will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. 33Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

God

Reconciliation and Repentance

Nehemiah 9:5-6

And the Levites—Jeshua, Kadmiel, Bani, Hashabneiah, Sherebiah, Hodiah, Shebaniah and Pethahiah—said: "Stand up and praise the LORD your God, who is from everlasting to everlasting. [a]"Blessed be your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise. 6 You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you.

All of Nehemiah 9 touched my heart and mind today. I have prayed to God to ask for forgiveness. How have I changed my focus to become farther away? I pray that the sins that have be in mu family are forgiven.I seek forgiveness individually and collectively. I define my sins individually, each and every one of them. I pray that I am able to seek forgiveness and receive it. God did not desert his people. When they were in the desert and sinned, he showed great compassion. After rewarding them with kingdoms and nations they were disobedient and rebelled. Our Lord showed great compassion again. Once they were at rest again they begin to sin again. Repeatedly, over and over and over again Lord, you heard their cries and you showed compassion. Lord this is how I know that you can show compassion to our church, our family our lives, my life. We repent of our sins. I repent of my sins. The sins that so easily entangle me. The sin that I have identified. I want to be closer to you. How is it that I can move from repentance to celebration of God's forgiveness? If I do not move from repentance to forgiveness then I am not able to see a loving, compassionate and all knowing God that can save me.
Lord I will work on one thing I want you to reconcile me with this week. One thing. I will pray on it daily and act on it daily. I will commit to following through on the commitment this week. I will seek your forgiveness and look forward to your joy and compassion. I make this request in Jesus name.
Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone. I love you.

Saturday

When I search my heart and mind for something to write, I allow God to direct me. He directs me to those living in nursing homes, those involved in court cases. What does it mean. How do I relay this to my life? God I need you to help me learn and understand. I need you to guide me and make sense of so much.