Thursday, November 30, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for waking me up today and thank you for showing me there is light while in my tunnel. Lord, Lord, Father, Father. The Great Almighty. Often I find my self just calling your name. Improve my communication skills. I said I would not go another day without placing an entry in my journal. I miss it. I know word are powerful. There is power in the tongue. Words can hurt and words can heal. Father help me to control my behavior and my speech.Teach me to speak the truth in love. Teach me to control my thoughts and my heart. Help me to understand and accept that others have a right to their ideas own opinions. Everyone has a right to express themselves and it will not always coincide with my ideas and opinions.Father God let me not react out of past hurt and unresolved anger. Let me not try to look better or act better than what I really am. Let me not twist things around to the point of unrighteousness. Holy Spirit guide my talk. Let the words come out that build character and develop healthy robust relationships.I submit to the wisdom for above. I lean not to my own understanding. When I don't understand, if I have discerned that it is God in my life then I submit. I give up my will, I allow God to take over. Break me Lord and make me what you need me to be. I submit to releasing my human anger and ask God to forgive me. I cannot change myself, but I am willing to let God change me in his wisdom, grace and loving kindness.My heart overflows with a sincere desire to please God. I know the Lord loves me as I am today, as I will be tomorrow and as I was yesterday.  I know that improving me does not mean that I am not good enough right now, its just that God wants me to be the best that I can be. I may not be perfect but I'm not what I used to be. I bind any selfishness and hatred. I move forward with mercy and kindness. The truth is what I seek, The truth is a double edged sword. Let the truth direct my conversation Lord. Let me walk in a reasonable and healthy day. Let me treat others with dignity and honor and be treated that way also. Love me for me Lord. It doesn't mean I dont need to improve, but I know God that today, right now as I write this, You Love Me Just as I am.Nothing may ever be good enough but today I am good enough and I am in the place I should be in and I have everything that I should have.  I guess that was in me.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Hi

How was your day? Sometimes when I write I like to think that you are answering. I like to think we are in conversation right now.

How was your day?

Mine was fine. I was not surprised to have my children ransack the classroom and take all of the candy I had. The broke all of the games I had. The library was a mess. All the books were just thrown around the room. I made them clean the room before they switched. The room was so bad even the janitor didnt come into the room to sweep, he emptied the garbage and left it just like they left it. They do things like that when I'm not there. I tried to hide stuff but the sub just let them go wild. Some children were like , where were you, you know they just went wild without you. Some times we need a break from the craziness. I needed a break from the craziness. I feel better. I'm tired now. I have papers to grade and I want to check out this new book. I also want to start my treadmill regime again. I can do it, I know I can. Well enough for tonight. Be blessed and be a huge blessing to some. Good Night.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Good Morning

Thank you Lord for today. I am blessed beyond measure. My life is complete I have grace and mercywith me all the days of my life. I walk with the knowledge of you loving me Lord.

"God will never let you be shaken or moved from your place near his heart." Joni Eareckson Tada

"Yur love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies... How priceless is your unfailing love!... Psalm 36:5-7

God, My God, My Lord, Father God Almighty. You sent your only begotten Son to save me. You are my Rock and my Salvation. In whom shall I fear. I keep you near me in my heart and my soul. I miss you. I love you and I want you to know that my heart is at peace. I find you to be the anchor in my life. I shall bless your name at all times and your praise shall continually be in my mouth. I will worship you and magnify your name.

Today I will get up the branches around the house, go to my dad's building, wash my clothes and prepare for tomorrow. I watched this movie yesterday, Lake House, It was good, reminded me of some things about waiting. Yesterday was my movie day. I watched, X Men, Ice Age 2, and Click. I was a movie watching fool. No shopping for me. Anna did manage to get a good deal on a digital camera and printer though. All for the baptism. Well off to begin my day.

Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone special.

Have

Friday, November 24, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Thank you for such a beautiful morning.

Make room for us in your hearts 2 Corinthians 7:2

Make room for me in your heart. Is there room for me in your heart?

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. 2 Corinthians 7:10-11

I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. 2 Corinthians 8:8

What is my relationship with God? How do I strengthen it? How do I pass the test?

For I am a great King says the Lord Almighty, and my name is to be feared among the nations. Malachi 1:14

Worship the Lord God Almighty and honor his name. Show that he is worthy to be praised.

My covenant was with him, a covenant of life and peace and I gave them to him; this called for reverence and he revered me and stood in awe of my name. True instruction was in his mouth and nothing false was found on his lips. He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and turned many from sin. Malachi 2:5-6

Am I revering the Lord God Almighty? Have I shown reverence? Am I offending God?

In my period of waiting, my in between period, I travel through the stages of waiting. I am initially edgy and restless, then I am irritated and finally I move on believing that what I am waiting for will not ever happen in my life time and I become disappointed. Not because of any particular thing that has happened but because the dynamics of waiting has taken a toll on my belief system. I am then injected with a new dose of faith and belief. Do I believe that "God Treasures Me", am I able to withstand the test? Can I fight the good fight of faith? I say Yes, I preserver, I tithe, I pray, I give, I serve, I press on, Not believing what I see, but knowing in my heart that God Loves Me. Yes, Me. God Loves Me. God Loves Me and he has plans for me which are good because HE LOVES ME. Plans to prosper and not to harm, God Loves Me and I am a servant of God. This is how I know that good is for me. I will fear no evil because God is with me and God loves me. So I may flounder with this relationship but I know my first relationship is with God and I have to build that relationship to the highest heights before I can even hope on any other relationship. Be blessed today and have the peace of God with you today. May your home, family and business be at peace. My heart is at peace. I can say I love you and be at peace with that too.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

What a year. This year is just about out of here. We have seen so many changes and we have been through a lot of different phases in our lives.

When I think about all the ups and downs I have been through, I am truly blessed to be here today. Blessed that my dad is still here, blessed that my mom is ok, blessed for so many things. Even my health is getting better because I am trying to be more conscious about who is the Boss in my life. My days wouldnt be the same without my God.

I think I have been demanding certain things that I should not have been. I want what God wants for me. I want to embrace what that is and I think I know what it is. I need to talk to God more about this. I'm not negotiating, I'm just clarifying.

I hope you have a wonderful day today. I knwo you will be fed, entertained and happy. You are going to have a wonderful day.  Be blessed today and know that you are loved.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Being Thankful

Yesterday was a beautiful service. It was very spiritual.I'm sorry I was late. You know my schedule is demanding. I had to take my dad for his doctors appointment and we didnt get back until 6:30. You know how traffic is. I did my best. I got there thirty minutes late.I still felt the spirit. I was moved. The service was really good. I am glad that you are back. I do miss you when you are gone. I am thankful for so many things this year. The best thing is that I get the opportunity to wake up to another day. I have a chance to make a difference in someone's life. I have to finish some things today and then I will be chained to the stove for the next 24 hours. Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone special.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. Life is good, life is good, life is good.

 I Am thankful for each and every day that I am here. My life just wouldnt be the same without God in it. I am blessed and I know it. Thank you Lord for all that you do for me. Waking me up this morning.

Be blessed today and have a wonderful day.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Good NIght

My day has been busy. My attitude has been much better though. I have taken the next two days off so when I went intoday, I just knew I would only be here for one day. I didnt let anything bother me. It has been nonstop all day though.

It was nice to see you today. Sometimes its the little things that remind you about whats important.

I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Good Night.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Fragrance of God

Lord I came home and prayed. I  needed to pray. I had to pray. I needed guidance from today.  When I went to my bible, your words sent me to 2 Corinthians 2:5. Forgiveness for the Sinner.

If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent-not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. i urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven- if there was anything to forgive-I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.

I must forgive and hope to be forgiven. I have to believe God's word and walk in faith with him. I know that that child has some very bad circumstances to deal with. I know that we are trying to place him in a residential home and that will be a plus for him.

For me the harmony of faith and suffering is a reality. God didn't promise me a rose garden but he did send me a savior to accept the consequences of sin. Lord forgive me for my sins today and forgive my student. He doesn't know any better sometimes and his leaders and examples are few.

Give me any opportunity to get not be so overwhelmed. Let me catch up. Let me feel balanced somehow. If this is my breaking and remaking the let it pass quickly. Even as I say that I know its not. The heart is amazing. It can be broken, repaired and mended and ready for the next adventure. I am not a constant broken heart. I mend. I repair. I move on. I trust. I believe. Do I say my words lightly? No. Do I believe that God is Faithful? Yes. God is Faithful. That I can rely on and I know that God is with me. He has delivered me and will continue to walk with me.

Take care tonight. Be blessed. I know I wont see you until Tuesday. Be safe and know that I am thinking of you daily.Be Blessed and Be a Blessing to Someone Special.

Thank You Lord

Thank You Lord that I am not at the Police Station, The Morgue, or any other place associated with those  My day was something else.Lord thank you for loving me. Thank you for giuding me and protecting me today because somebody was going to get hurt today and I was determined it was not going to be me. Lord what is going on? This student is so defiant. His mother and grandmother are both drug abusers. He respects no one. He is constantly defiant and aggressive. I am so thankful that I dont have him all the time. Only twice a week are his class and mine together but he constantly wants my attention and he will get it negatively or positively. The boy is too old for grammar school anyway. He knows the repercutions are few on the elementary level but I and the other teacher are pressing charges with the police now. He has pushed the line and we are fighting back with the resources that we have available. I was so upset. I cant go into details but it is enough to say the situation warranted the need for police.

I just needed to get it out. I am so overwhelmed. I left my desk a mess and just came home. I will write later. I just had to get this off my chest.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Good Night

Lord I have challenges in every area of my life. I dont want it but sometimes the hardest thing is to surrend. To humble yourself. I think I have humbled myself and I find I have to go further. I have a desire to please God. Its my passion, my goal, my desire. What is my life without God? I cannot choose betweenmy life and God. My desire and God. It must always be God. Everything else is secondary. I try to be the best I can be. I have to try to be the best for God, no matter what that is that he wants for me. I must find my place with God. This is no game for me, this is my life.I have been sick, over stressed, over worked and just tired. Why is this happening to me now? I dont know. Am I being refined and purged. Am I being prepared for the next hurdle. I dont know. I do know that Im in it and that I can just ask God for one day at a time. Sometimes its just one hour at a time.I dont give up. I press on and maybe I hit the mark. I dont know whats expected but I do have hig expectations.

Good Afternoon

Good Afternoon is about all I have time to say.

Maybe I'm still going through my process and let me say its not easy but I am willing to do what I have to do. I do it to be a petter person for God. Whether I am blessed or not I want to be a vessel for God to use as He sees fit.  I pray that I can accept the challenge and do what is needed. Sometimes it sounds like someone describing the water to you as you are drowning. When you are in the fire you dont particularly want to hear how hot the fire is. I'm in now, I'm dealing with it. If I come through better, great, if not oh well, I just have to keep trying. Its nice to see you again.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Good MOrning

Good MOrning Lord. This weekend has been a positive and a negative. Positive that I have had an opportunity to just sleep. Negative because I have missed a day of journal writing. I have to get ready for church today but I wanted to write something. My days are so full now. I dont know how to manage my time. I need to get more organized. I have my dad on a daily basis. My grandson has needs daily. My daughters, my mother, my brother, etc. Everybody needs something at one time or another. Then of course there is my classroom. A room full of needs. How do you meet their needs and your own needs? How is it that I keep getting sick? Where is the balance Lord. How do I balance all of this so that I am not overwhelmed and lost in the shuffle? I'm just telling the truth as I see it and I hope that you understand that there is nothing bad reflected on you. I dont have an attitude or anything, I'm just tired and overworked. I have to go now its time to leave.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Hi

It is  raining and thundering here. We have suddenly become much colder and there are threats of snow tonight.  I am not going anywhere tonight.

Where have I been? I seem to have no time to do anything now. My mom and daughter went to New Yourk yesterday. They will return on Sunday.

My other car is sick again

My eyes are bothering me again. When I went to the doctor on Oct 30 I told her I thought they were getting sick again and now Im right. I hate being right.

My day was so yucky at school. Thrree fights in my classroom, the hallway coming from lunch and the stairs. What the heck is going on? Its something in the air.

What are you doing right now? I always want to know what you are doing when you read my journal.

Well I have to prepare dinner for the remaining clan. We are having salmon and green beans.

Have a blessed evening tonight. I finally get to watch my show "Men in Trees". Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Good MOrning

Good Morning Lord. Good Morning. I have not been able to place a morning entry for a few days now. Thank you Lord for the opportunity today. You have been with me through out all of my ups and downs. Today is report card pick up day. I will have an opportunity to meet the parents of most of my students. My concern is that I wont have a big turn out. Whatever the case I will be there. Giving my best and doing everything I can to encourage them to be an integral part of their child's life.

I am so looking forward to this weekend. My mom and Lizzie are going to New York on Thursday and don't come back until Sunday. I don't have any plans at all and I plan to enjoy my time immensely. I have to start getting ready for today.  I have been listening to your sermons for October and the one with the sword came to mind as I looked for a photo. Say Yes. We need each other.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special today.

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

I'm So Sorry

I am so sorry.

I have been trying to place an entry for two days. I usually don't like excuses but please forgive me this time. With report cards, two afterschool programs, building problems and just trying to live I find time for me vanishing. I am up every morning with my bible and I read supportive and spiritualy mature things to help with my spiritual growth. I find it hard to get to that computer in the mornings. It doesnt mean I dont want to or that I am not thinking about you its just finding the time to actually sit down for ten to twenty minutes and do this.

How is your vacation? I hope you are enjoying yourself. Have a blessed day today and remember that I do love you.

Sunday, November 5, 2006

Hawaiian Monk Seals

Well, today I watched a documentary about the Hawaiian Monk Seal off the French Shoals. They mentioned that they were becoming extinct. Of course the only reason I watched it is because you are in Hawaii. I found it interesting though. My scientific mind began to wonder along with the scientist why they were becoming extinct. There are only three places where there are warm water seals. Hawaii, Caribeean (they are extinct now) and the Mediterrean. They strapped a camera on them and found that the seals werent feeding around the general local area.

That area was shark infested and it also had their other enemies there. The seals were diving hundreds of feet below the surface to distinct coral reef which they indicated wre aosis in the deep desert and the seals found food in the form of coral reefs and fish at this incredibly deep sea level. No predators.

Why am I watching anything about Hawaii. Because you are there and I want to connect with you no matter how vague it seems. I realize that you probably dont even go to this remote area but I know its close to you. Anything that will get me closer to you is important to me. Have a good night and be blessed.

Hello

Hi

How is your vacation going? Today's service was good. I wonder if you listen while you are away. I think you do. You would have to get up at 4am. You are probably up any way. I hope youare enjoying your vacation. Come back and tell us stories.Take lots of pictures. Read alot. I have to get that book you told us about in bible study. Dont do any of those thrill seeking adventures. No base jumping. Its thrilling enough just waking up the next day. Find a hobby on the ground that doesnt require dangerous chemicals and dangerous activities. Im sure you will be mindful of yourself and not do anything stupid.

I pray for you in the morning, afternoon and evening. I know that you are safe and happy. You are rexaxing, rejuvenating and restoring your mind, body and spirit. Continue to do so.  Have a wonderful day and be blessed. You are loved very much.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special.

 

Saturday, November 4, 2006

Good Morning

Good Morning Lord. I am here. I said I would be here and I am here. Breakfast is done for almost everyone in the house now. I even have to make a bottle sometimes. I cant stop thinking about the new baby message from yesterday. The Savior. I know how it is when you have a new baby and everyone wants to say how cute he is, can I hold him and just congratulate you on the baby. Imagine what Mary and Joseph must have felt when prophets and strangers began to say this child is the Messiah, the Christ, The Son of God. I imagine the awe and reverence was abundant.

We had a good Sisterhood session last night. Making ourselves Whole required an inward journey and we shared with each other. Some people really liked to share, and share and share. All in all it was good. I took the little man with me, he was very good.

This morning I have day two of the conference. The over to my dad to check on the building and the tenants. Then hopefully, back home to rest. I'm closing my door and not coming out until morning.

Enjoy yourself and rejuvenate. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special.

Friday, November 3, 2006

Good Morning Lord. This morning I read the Christmas Story but this time it was with reverance and awe that the knowledge of a Savior being born was given to the shepards and the two member in the synagogue. The awe and reverance that Mary and Joseph received for their child must have amazed them. What childis this...We seek to understand God and He continues to amaze us. Mary kept those things in her heart and pondered them. She knew he could turn water to wine at Cana, he probably did the same with juice or other things at home growing up. What a child to have at home, to supply your every need. To have wisdom and grace at such a young age. We complain now how our children are so uncooperative. What was it like to have baby Jesus at home for the early years? Blessed is the name of Jesus.

I am off to my conference today. I dont have to be there until 8"30 and its close to me so I can leave at 8.

Have a blessed day today and know that you are loved.

Thursday, November 2, 2006

Hello

Hi

Sorry about this morning. I have just not been able to do all that I used to do in the mornings. I still wake at 5:10am. I didnt even hit the snooze button this morning. I read my bible. I got up and took a shower. Then I started breakfast. Fed my dad, got dressed and it was 7:30. I tryto do the journal while fixing breakfast. I initially could do it with no problem but now its just almost impossible. I will not be defeated. I know one thing, I am flexible and I will get an entry in no matter what. Its almost impossible to find the time at school anymore. Enough of my excuses.

How are you?

Are you enjoying yourself?

Are you relaxing?

Please, Please, Please just take the time to do absolutely nothing

Tomorrow I have a conference to attend. Its in the burbs so I am happy about that. I hve to go on Saturday too, I'm not so happy about that but if it helps me help my students then I'm all for it.

Tonight of course I am babysitting. We have now worked out a deal. I babysit, she grades papers and becomes my teacher assistant. That works for me since I have been babysitting for free anyway. Report card pick up is on Wednesday so we definately have some work to do before then.

Well, take care, be blessed and know that you are loved and thought of each and every hour. I touch my heart and touch the screen. I send my love and nothing but good thoughts and blessings to you right this minute.

Wednesday, November 1, 2006

Good Night

Good NIght

I am so sorry that I have not had a chance to write sooner today. I actually didnt hit the snooze this morning but with all of my duties in the morning its becoming more and more difficult to actually sit down and write, but no matter what my goal is always to have an early morning entry and if possible an evening entry. I need to connect with you and I dont ever want a day to go by when I dont intentionally make the effort to connect. I hope you are enjoying your vacation. You are relaxing, walking and reflecting. Relaxing, Walking, REFLECTING. I know God is guiding you. Let HIM. Listen to HIM. SEEK HIM. I'm going to bed now. Tomorrow is Principal for a Day and we have three of them coming to our school. I have written three donorschoose proposals. I hope they will fund them.

Good NIght my love, be blessed and be a blessing to someone special.

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