I Am A New Creature

I continue to hope.

I am mad at God. He hasnt done what I asked him to do. I just continue to do what I believe is the right thing. Pray, pray, pray. I continue to believe and have faith. Faith the size of a mustard seed. But none the less faith. Each day I wake with hope of something new and different in this relationship.

I continue to come to church, continue to pray everyday, continue to read the bible everyday. I'm not so much concentrating on speaking to you, that will come naturally, I know that, I'm wondering about the us, the me and you, the togetherness. I wonder if this is all there is for us, no more or no less. Just this.

I wonder if this is all we will ever have. Am I destined to only love you from afar? I think that this will never change.  But yet, I walk by faith and not by sight. I can do all things through Christ.....

I stand on his word. Born again. Each day renewing my relationship with God, my Lord, my King. I believe that good things are in store for me. I believe.

I will embrace my journal because its my communication to you. God has allowed this so I will embrace it and continue to let you get to know me.

I'm sorry for using the "_-hole" when referring to my ex, but I was a sailor and I used every word available to talk to him and describe him at one time. I imagine God wants me to heal this relationship and that's what I'm going to do. He's suppose to arrive tomorrow and I don't know yet if he is even coming. I want him to come for the girls sake since he told them he would but I could just as well do without him.

We went out after church to celebrate Toni's birthday. We went to a Cuban restaurant on the North Side.  Yesterday we celebrated Felice's birthday. She had an open house for her birthday party. I am so glad this week is over. Tomorrow I have to go back to my handyman routine. Over to my dad's then I have a class that starts at 5:30. It will be that way for 10 weeks. I'm at the Naperville campus, Lincoln Park. I plan to start back at Women's Workout World. My friend and I go. She's at Sylvan also. We go M W F mornings. By  having a buddy it makes me more accountable. I'm not very consistent if I have to do it by my self.