Another Day

                 

...Rekindle the fire of who we are. We have been called to greatness. Let's build the infrastructure. Church means a body or a called out people. Called out or set apart. Chosen. A group of believers brought together by a spirit entrusted by a shepard or pastor...(Bible Study, Pastor, 1/18/05)

Remember who we are and what it is that we need to continue to do. The battle is sometimes the toughest. The foe is often times seen as the enemy we can change. Sometimes that enemy is not changed. Sometimes their hearts have been hardened and ther is nothing we can do but move forward. Our lives become intertwined with that foe until we begin to humiliate each other. We bite down like a pitbull defying the other to let go first. We destroy relationships in the process and lose sight of the vision.

I am no superwoman, I don't have a woman's cause to fight, my only war is conquering your heart.

I am not an obsessed, possessed, try to please everybody woman, all I really want to do is occupy myself with you.

I don't need a lot of outside interests and classes to be happy, I just need your love.

I'm needy needy, moody and infantile when I'm really impatient, frustrated and lonely (and still probably needy, moody and infantile).

I think you think I get mad easily, I'm overly sensitive, and I'm immature. I'm not all of that at the same time, every day.

I think you want me to do, the one thing in your mind, that will cement in your mind and heart, that I am ready and you are ready, and I don't know what that one thing is.

I think you are hiding your gift/talent that was given to you and God wants more. My spirit tells me that you need me to be with you to do this, and I don't even know what it is you need to do.  I might not know all of the foibles and levels butI am willing to face them.

I think you think I am some icon queen because of the pictures, I'm not. I don't have one in my house. I think sometimes you can be judgemental and self righteous but that's necessary in your line of work. I think ultimately that you care/love me and that maybe you believe that I care/love you.

I look forward to being your housewife, making you breakfast, doing your laundry and sitting on the bench rooting my husband on in whatever endeavour he decides to to preach. His role is a major character builder in my life and whether we have sixty minutes alone or the rest of our life I will treasure it and look forward to it.

My spirit seems to need to get this out to you and I hope you receive it in the right way.  I'm not psychic or trying to predict anything this just what God had put on my heart and its that your talent is being buried. You need to work for him now and to go to the places he needs you to go (where obviously you are refusing to go) you need me. And I don't say that to be arrogant or anything else, this is what God has put in my heart. I began this long letter and I was just going to keep it and not say anything else about it but no, I had to say something. I have said it so there.

Its like, the bible verse where they are given the talents and one does nothing and its taken away, another does a little and it grows and the third does a lot and it grows. You must be at a point where you need to grow about something.