Too Heady

I heard you say that one day, and I just let it go. I thought, about back when I first began this journal and how you had said something about how it was too sexy. I don't want this to turn into soft porn, but I also want you to know that there is some heat here.

I didn't like the inuendo that women teach their daughters to hate men if they have had a bad relationship. I for one, and I can only speak of myself, have always taught my daughters to love their father. They have continually had relationships with men, and they were raised with men (my grandfather, we lived with him for 10 years when I returned to this city) my father was always an integral part of our life, my brother was important to them and they also spent the summers each year with their father. I'm not a man hater. What I will not do is applaud or accept a man who has treated my daughters badly. One how has beat her, held a knife to her and kicked her and beat her about the head. I don't like him now, I didn't like him when I met him and I quite frankly don't see me liking him in the future. I'll pray for God's forgiveness. We all have something we need forgiveness for. I'm not a frigid woman who doesn't like to get hot and heavy with my man and steam up the windows and let him know that I am wanting him. I know how to treat a man like a king and let him know that he is the only person alive in any room with me. I know how to make him blush and let him know that he alone is the only man for me. He warms my heart and my soul. I whisper in his ear and he hears nothing but me. I know how to love a man. I am not frigid or cold. I love men and I know how to love a man. But you don't know that. You don't jknow that side of me. Is that the thing you have been wanting to see? The me that desires nothing but you and can't control herself. The me that is wrapped around you. Is that what you need to see?

I thought about this for a while and realized that you aren't feeling that love. I'm not showing you you that love. You hear/read it when I say it and that don't mean a dag gone thing to you. Show me the money!!! You are in a very important role in my life. You hold two important positions and you are the first to do that. I don't want to embarass you, myself or do anything to embarrass you. I don't want any gossip or talk to hurt you in any way. I want to keep on your good side. Sunday and Tuesday, of course its not enough. Everyday time is ticking and we just let it happen. We have the right time and that time is God's time. But that's what you need. You need to see the love. You need a little love in your life. You need to see and feel the love encompass you and melt you like an ice cube in the summer. That's where the work is. How to make that happen. Baby needs some love. Longer holds in the hugs, more looks and smiles, more kisses when given the chance and just love him. I'm not trying to script anything but I have to say this is not easy. Love, Love, Love. Love makes the world go round. Loving you is easy cause youre beautiful. Will you be my valentine? Say yes. Say we can be together. Say we can be lovers.

Say yes.

Good night.