Hi

Sometimes I think that you have given up on me and our dream, sometimes I think that you have embraced the dream of you and me more than I have. Sometimes I think that we are just too much, and the actual relationship is never to be. Sometimes I think that we are just right and this is where we are suppose to be right now doing exactly what we are doing right now. Today I feel like we are where we are suppose to be right now.

So now I will tell you what I am doing and what makes me feel the way I feel. I am watching Coretta Scott King's Funeral  (she always used her maiden name). I am now watching the speech of Attallah Shabazz. She came after the Clintons who I respect and treasure. The term "frozen chosen" will always be cherished in my memory of G. Bush Sr. My ultimate reason for watching of course is to see you. I treasure the the fact that CSpan can show three hours, back to back. I hate the fact that BET will only show two hours as if its so long they can only captivate their audience for two hours on a historic moment in history. I made my children watch it in school on the internet. I have printed off the program for use in our black history program at the end of the month. I have given my children an assignment to find a biographical sketch of 6 famous writers and have included Coretta Scott King as an extra credit assignment. If we don't make it important, who will? The intimatcy is necessary to relate to the Mother of the Civil Rights Movement. We must not forget, ever what their sacrafice and devotion to the movement of advancement of colored people, Negro people and Black people was.

Tomorrow , we will have a very prolific speaker speak on the needs, desires and dreams of my people. He has given us a very educated, and profound message. Will his message today be a message of power or of love. Do we need to push forward or do we need to love? Will we have the strength to endure the message and just say thus sayeth the Lord and move forward? What will the the prohetic voice be? I pray that it will be a new and challenging voice that reaches our very core and challenges us to rise up and speak the truth. The collective truth has always been the voice of reason. God's word does not go in vain. It will be spoken, and it will prevail.

I pray that we are united one day in the union that God wants for us. I look forward to that day. Everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord for he is worthy to be praised. His will be done in my life. I praise the Lord and I continue to seek God and ask HIM to guide the destiny for me and for you to come into fruition at HIS perfect time. I know that when and how the Father wants things to be done it will be done. Not my will but thy will be done.

I gbreive over the time that I have not spent on this journal knowing that this is my only true connection to you. My only true connection to you. I know that one on one we meet. I may shy over the public display that occurs weekly but I don't have any less the private display that I love you. Do not take those words lightly. I do not bestow them regularly. I do not tell everyone that I love them. I want you to know that you are special in my Life and that God has led me to you and that we are meant to be. I do not treat this union lightly. I do not  toss you off as an aquaitance. You are so special to me that words cannot express how I feel about you. No matter what happens, you are definately important in my life. You are a defining entinity that makes a difference in my daily comings and goings. Now , do I read the paper each day or watch the  TV each day to see what they have to say about you, NO. I don't do that. I don't read the paper or watch TV.  Usually when I hear about something in the paper or on TV you have told me or someone else has told me. My thoughts about will never change. There is nothing I can read or hear about you that will make me think bad about you. I know that you are good and that what you do is for the good of man and for God's purpose.

I didn't know that Coretta had ovarian cancer. I didn't know. I don't know everything. I know that I don't know everything. God must be with us at all times so that we are with God.

I have taken up too much of your time, and I know that you have many people who demand your time but I am so glad that sometime during the day you take the time and read some of the words that I write. I love you for that. If nothing else, I know that you care about me. You read what I write in this journal. This journal that I sometimes think is stupid and arrogant. Its so much about me that I feel that it's ridiculous. But I know that you read it. I would like to think that you read it everyday and

 I         love                       you                  for                     that

Every day I am in your life, that means so much to  me.

God said this was important and I continued to write. I pray that it is important to you. 

I love you and I pray that you love me too.

I have bored you enough, its time for me to go, good night and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. My joy is to see you.

Be blessed and have a blessed evening.