Good Morning

Father God, forgive me for not recognizing something was going on sooner. I blame myself for not noticing the signs sooner. I should have checked the medicine sooner. I would have noticed the date was May of 2005. I definitely should have come over more often. When I did come over I noticed some things and I just shrugged them off. Lord thank you that I did not have to find a body. I know that he is finding it difficult to be alone. Human contact is important and he has pushed so many people away that they find it hard to come back to him. I'm his daughter and I will take care of him better than I have. Lord help me to help him. I know his days are fewer before him than what is behind him. He has given up, shut down and basically was ready to die. At 70 years old he has lost his zest for life. I have a daunting task before me today. I have to pay his bills, take him in for lab work, get his car started again, he probably hasnt driven it in over six months, the battery is dead, get him cleaned up, clean up the apartment as best I can and let him know that he is loved. How do we miss the signs? Now things make sense to me about what I was seeing and not understanding. He stopped thriving. The will to live just left him and he was content to just die. He has lost 88 pounds since May of 2005. That is a big concern. He had so many medical problems before, high blood pressure, diabetes, prostrate problems, now we have to begin to assess where his body is now. Kidney Failure is a reality that might be real also. I just dont know. I have more unanswered questions than I do answered. My heart longs for you. I was the caregiver of my grandfather for 9 years when I came back from Idaho. Now I am about to be the caregiver for my father for as long as I have to. I am where I need to be right now. I should have seen the signs sooner. The weight loss was a big giveaway. I love you and I miss you.