I Am Lost Without You
My eyes are open and the storm is over.
Once again you are right. I don’t know why I don’t listen to you more. This morning I have spent the last three hours praying to God and asking him to help me and show me what he wants me to do. He directed me to Jonah. Right away I was like, OK, I know you want me to do this thing and I have run away but how do I get back. How do I embrace your will now. How do I make this happen? As I read I began to see how Jonah was told by God what to do. Go to these people who are wild and barbaric. He feared them because of what they do to their enemies and God had told Jonah to tell them they were wrong and Jonah felt they would do that to him, so he flees. While on the boat during the storm, he goes in the bottom and falls into a deep sleep. God is with him. They throw him over with much discernment and he is tossed into the wild sea but there is calm on the boat. After Jonah is picked up by the fish he prays and praises God immensely. He recognizes his power yet again and he is saved. He asks God again what to do and he tells him to go to Nineveh, again. He gets there and tells them what God has told him. They repent and God has compassion on them and saves them. Then Jonah is resentful. He feels God could have done this without him and the fact that he had compassion on them upset Jonah. God goes on to say even the ignorant need saving.
Now what does this have to do with my saving grace? Everything and nothing.
I began to pray to God continuously to help me, show me, guide me. I asked him to show me what I was fearful of. What was keeping from doing his will. I then began to forgive those that had hurt me. Those that had misused my trust. But this time I included people I hadn’t included before and I began to ask God to bless them, show favor in their lives, to allow them to feel comfort from him on this day. I asked God to forgive them for their sins and to forgive me for allowing this to take over my life. It was like a weight had been removed from my shoulders. A calmness came over me and I felt released. I no longer had the feelings of dread and fear. I remembered you telling me before to forgive my enemies and I thought I had but I had never blessed them and wished good things in their lives. I truly mean that too.
Where would I be without you. I don’t want to know.
1 comment:
it is hard to forgive whomever youre trying to forgive i'm sure. i have an ex husband that i had to put in prison for stalking charges. he was very abusive. i was very resentful. i like what you said about praying for others. i was told this as well, and prayed for 4 years before it was gone, but one day, poof, it was gone, and now, no resentment. then i realized, although the resentment was gone, the love was not there, and i believe god asks us to love our neighbor as ourselves, so to me, that's EVERYONE. i began to pray again, for god to let the love back into my heart. a week later i had a dream, then another.... and found that, although the relationship was over, the love inside me was rekindled, not in a romantic way, but in a spiritual way, as i am now remarried. there are so many things that god has healed me from. i was a drug addict and alchohalic for 10 years, and now have been sober 8 in febuary, and clean, too. i have total faith that god will lead me in the right way and heal my hurts and character defects, it's just that sometimes it seems like it's so much.... i write them down along with the good things about me whenever i'm in a funk and the pray that the good is better and that he removes the bad. i believe 100% that he does and will and has, but as a human in this world, sometimes it's hard to think of all the things to change, so for me i work on what hurts the worst and somehow, after prayer, the other things seem to fall in line, too. i believe that it works and know you do, too. it is good to pray for others, because they must hurt to hurt us, and likewise with us. god bless you. will pray with you that your prayers are anwered even more than they already have been!!!
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