My Ninevah

I know that my ninevah is that i have to go down that road of trusting you and loving you. I have to take that fall and believe, no matter what happens, I have to surrender myself to you. I have to stop crying and adjust.myself and know that I can trust, love and go down that road again and come what may, it will be good. My ninevah is to go through that line and believe that I mean something to you and that I can share or know that I mean something to you than your next cause. Where do I fit in? I hate that line. I am stressing now about going through that line. I always feel like you are looking at the next person in line and just waiting for the next person in line. I don't get your eyes, I don't get your undivided attention and my fear is that I am what you will get tired of soon and become bored with. But never the less, I have to go down the never ending assembly line of greeting the man I love. I am just a number in that line, one of many and not unique or important. That is my fear, that I become unimportant in your life. I'm not spiritual and holy, I am just honest, that's just me. That's just what is on my mind and what I am fearful of.