Waiting and Trusting

I know that waiting is hard. I am the worst. I can't wait for Christmas to come. I want to open the present up as soon s I see it. I have learned to wait to open the present because if I don't then I don't have anything for Christmas that's new and wonderful. I cant do this without you. I know I am suppose to stay strong but I get weak, sometimes my faith and trust aren't strong, sometimes. Sometimes I need to know you need me, you love me and yo<SPAN id=sp-10 title=" want, wants, unwanted, wan, quaint, quanta, walnut" style="BACKGROUND: url(undefinedimages/bg_spellingErr.gif) yellow repeat-x left bottom; PADDING-BOTTOM: 2px; COLOR: #000" _backupTitle="null"> me. Sometimes I need to know that I am not just believing in something that is a big dream. We are the only two that know this dream and can make it come true. Sometimes I don't believe this dream. Sometimes I just want to say to you slow down, notice me, take a minute for me and you, then go back to saving the world. Take a minute just for me and you, but then it sounds selfish. I have to share you, I come last. its not about me. I have to step up and get what I need. Just wait, just wait.So I wait. Now is not the right time. Just wait. it will be all right. My plan, again, my plan, is to pay my bills (credit cards) and to just have my mortgage and living expenses so that I can come and work for you. Work at the school. I wanted to talk to Helen about the assistant minister of education position. I didn't see her today. I didn't want to tell you, but then I thought today was very emotional and there needed to be some indication that I am trying to move to a closer position. Maybe a day to day experience would make a difference. Something has to make a difference. I'm trying to change the situation. I don't really know what else to do. I just keep waiting. No one can make this work but us.