I am so embarrassed about some things that have happened with us. I blame it all on menopause. I have been so grumpy and frustrated. I have so many papers to grade and I will frequently put it off and that just builds more tension. I have students who just plain and simple get on my nerves and that upsets me because it doesn't fit into my plans of the perfect teacher or at least a concerned and good teacher. I eat too much sometimes. Some days I can eat all the right things and others I want to eat everything in sight. I have some serious issues and I wonder why God would do this to you. Why connect you with me. I am not perfect nor am I even the runner up for perfect. I am so messed up, tied up and tangled up in junk and stuff that I don't even know what to do sometimes. I am about to be 49 years old and that just messes with my head sometimes. I live in a multi generational house which is truly crazy sometimes. I work in a below poverty environment and I am feeling like I am fighting a losing battle. What was God thinking. Then there is you. I think you are very special. I believe that you have sacrificed so much and you have been straddled with me. We have something that is not going away and something that is not in our control. I know that for sure. I ask God what is it that I should do. What do I need to let go of. What is it that I am holding on to? What must I do to survive this thing that is happening and the answer is always something related to love and trust. Love and Trust. It always sounds so simple but its the hardest thing to do. Love and Trust. Let God be in Control. Trust God to do the right thing for you. I pray that you have a good night and that you love and trust someone, today. Good Night.
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