Something that always happens to me is that I am in need of a prayer. I pray in this journal for God to remember me, to help me and to love me. Religion is not on my mind. That was a tool to help me find God. Without my faith in God, I cannot and will not make it. I will not be able to pray my hate away for those who have oppressed me. I will not be able to pray my hate at those who make the one I love unhappy. I will not be able to pray my hate away for those who hate me and what I stand for.
I am at the end of my road. I am chasing a relationship that seems unreachable. I am just a woman. A regular, middle aged woman. A woman who is in love. Have I placed you on a pedestal? Do I believe you are great and wonderful and above all men. God I hope so because I cannot and will not have a man that I cannot look up to. Is that too much for you to handle. I don't know. Do I believe that you are a veritable man, one capable of mistakes and very human, I do believe you are a man. One who is sensitive and loving and who is being treated very unfairly right now. You have given the will to love again and I believe that you are sincere. How do we move forward. That's my dilemma? So Psalm 137 is what I have been reading. I love you.
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