The Pursuit of God

The Pursuit of God-A.W. Tozer

I wanted this book after you told us about it in bible study. I finally got it today. I plan on reading it tonight. At least starting it. As the deer pants after the water, so my soul pants after you O God. Psalm 42

I wish you wouldn't look away when our eyes meet. Sometimes its important to make a connection. I pray that I am not the cause of discomfort for you. I say that and I know that this situation, if I believe its real, and I do, I realize that it must be uncomfortable for you. Its confusing and uncomfortable for me. I am sincere in my pursuit of God. I want what God wants for me. I know that together we can make a difference. I want you as my husband, my mate, my spouse. I want you to guide me and love me. Keep me on the straight and narrow path to God.

I pray for you daily. I pray that your heart, mind and spirit keep your body balanced and healthy. I know that you are a man of God and God loves you and so do I.

I will make it a point to be a better steward of this journal. I know I have some decisions to make. I have to prioritize my time and place this, which I believe is something God wants me to do right now back on the top of my list. I know that another day is not promised. I try to live this life as if I will do my best today and today is the only day that matters. If God has silenced me, how do I obey his commands to enhance my future husband's chances of getting a new and improved spouse. If I am impeding my future, how do I get out of the way. All of this requires God to step in, mix things up and for me to let go and let it happen. I feel as if I have been sent on a whirlwind ride and I'm still on it. I believe God is working in my life and I have faith that he has not left me, nor has he forsaken me. I need you to need me and I need to need you. I need to let my self need you and trust you, which I do. I just have to keep moving in that direction. Keep moving on.

Reconciliation. This is when couples have a quiet dinner together and make promises and long talks together. This is when we bond. We spend some we time together. We believe in each other and believe that we are going to get through this. I don't even know what this is. I don't understand but I know that it will get better. I believe it will get better. Well, enough of this confusing talk, prepare for your travels tomorrow. I will pray for you tonight, tomorrow morning, afternoon and evening. You have a good heart.