Just Thinking

Because I have some time on my hands and I am suppose to be working on my portfolio, doing some writing but I'm not, I thought about the dream. I know its important. I challenge myself daily not to be drawn into the "drama of chose me over the church" But the dream is not chose me over God because that's not whats being asked of you. Its chose religion or me. Its a new job, a different boss, but yet and still the same boss. My big thing was I would be so guilty because I know how much the church means to you. I know the relationship has been strained at times but it was something your family and your mother inparticular wanted for you so I know honoring her and staying with it was very important. I respect that and honor you for your continual commitment to the church. You have done great things in your desire to live a christian life. I often ask myself if this is something you really want. Why should you have to chose one or the other, why cant you have both. And when you chose do you have to hate one and love the other. Which will I become, the loved or the hated. Will you be sorry that you had to give it up? I just wonder. That's what was asked of you years ago and your choice was religion. It helped you develop a stronger relationship with God. The storefront that you found God in was a means to the King, The Lord of Lords. The peacefulness allows me to feel secure in your decision. That it is your decision. I have not coerced or bribed you. I have said nothing. Its your decision. Is God in that choice. I believe he is. What does that storefront on 79th have to do with it? What does Provence have to do with it? Are these symbols that we know have meaning in our lives? Where do we go from here? What does it mean, if anything. Its a mystery yet it makes sense. There are connections. It has begun a fire in me and gave me something to write about.