Trust

                         

                                               

                                             

 

"A Good Marriage is that in which each appoints the other

the guardian of their soul."

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Letters, 1892-1926

" A joyful heart is the normal result of a heart burning with love."

Mother Teresa

" One thing Jesus asks of me: that I lean on Him; that in Him and only in Him I put complete trust; that I surrender myself to Him unreservedly...Even if we feel like a boat without a compass on the high seas, we are to commit ourselves fully to Him, without trying to control His actions."

Mother Teresa

 

Two years, twenty years, I'm in it for the long haul. Its been six years already and I'm still here.  I was not surprised by the coincidences when you  read bible passages that I had just read at home on multiple occasions and I know there was no way you would have know what I was reading. God wanted me to take notice then and now. I don't know why this is the only voice that you hear from me but then I thank God that you are hearing something. I dont know if the message will be the same, if the openness will continue, if the thoughts are able to flow freely again. I will try to treat this as if it is unknown. But if I call for intimacy, soul mating, trust and companionship then don't I need to let you in my mind, heart, and soul? Don't you need to know some of these things? Will this be a good beginning? Was this too overwelming? Answer but don't answer. Respond but don't respond. Trust is what I must develop. Trust is important here. Is it alright that this is to the world and you are a part of that world? I can't control the actions of the world.

Trust I must and trust I will. I live day by day and if I must learn to trust you with my heart then that is what I have to do, come what may. Why is it that God knows exactly what the obstacles are and cuts to the chase. Trust, do I trust  you? Do you trust me? Why is it that everytime I am around you guys just seem to come out of the woodwork. Before I couldnt catch a cold now I just seem to attract people. I don try to and I never lead them on in anyway. This girl is taken. I know that many women are in love with you in some capacity. I thought I was in love in the savior kind of way but then I believe it changed for me. I know that women fall for their psychologist, preacher and any male mentor who makes them feel worthy.

Why is it all the moments you try to put together I screw them up? The wonderful Temptations song, "My Girl", the evening last year at the sunset event at the point I run the other way when you try to hold a conversation. I think that we are preparing for something very special. I have to believe that there is a future but also I will not become preoccupied with the future, there is no reason, God is in the present and the future and I know God is with me. My God shall supply all of my needs. Waiting is a luxury. To be able to know that your  wait is not in vain is glorious. What will be will be. Wait on the Lord. I notice these things.