Intercession

When someone hurts us, our natural reaction is to strike back. To just pray to God to strike them down with a vengeance. When I think about the time someone did me wrong and I wanted to fight back, I knew my spiritual eyes needed to be more attuned to the situation at hand. When things seem to come up after you thought they were laid to rest its just not right. Where is this old junk stuff coming from? I have some happiness come today and then some sadness. What am I suppose to do, just do what they say, give up, I don't think so. I feel like I was kicked in the gut. Knocked down and dragged through the mud. Everything is a struggle.  One step forward and two steps back. Sometimes I just don't know what to say so I just don't say anything at all. Where is my heart? What does it feel right now?  Knowing something is coming and knowing something is here is two different things.

I'm watching "A Raisin in the Sun" right now. What happens when a dream is deferred?  Today I got a large sum of money. We received our deferred pay since we are starting back early in August. I have less than a month before school starts back. This time next month I will be back in school. I am already counting down the days until our next break at the end of September. Tomorrow we will go to the ribfest and enjoy ourselves. What is the problem? I have to think about thiws attack on me right now. Something that's coming from the past that's not even my original problem. Am I the sole responsible person here? Do I have to pay for everything? Is this my responsibility to pay? I truly dont think so. Lord help me find the answer.