When did I become a prude?

Lord I am just being hit over the head with realization this week. I need to keep myself spiritually strong but I have to remember that for all my thinking of how something should have been or should be, it is the way it is right now. So I know God wants me to seek this out. I should not be in a situation that is making me unhappy. This job, I'm leaving it, finding one that will make me happy. I am not doing anybody any favors by being in that position knowing that I hate it. The children are not being blessed by me with the attitude that I have for them right now. I have no joy going to work, preparing lessons or even in my colleagues. We already feel one term Emanuel wants us to strike and if that becomes reality then what. This financial budgeting class is right on time for my situation. Then what about my love? I have kept myself from the man I love because I Thought it was wrong and didn't want to sin, but who's to say we are sinners? I have faith that this is truly an uncompromising love that is God enforced and if I understand that there is nothing wrong with God's wishes, then man can decide for himself. Has it really taken me this long to break this way of thinking? Was that what I needed to face, that I am not sinning? God forgives a multitude of sins. Again, and again and again. If we confess our sins and we are faithful then we are forgiven. Who am I to say what is a sin. I judge myself more harshly than anyone. I just pray that you can love me and know that I have and will continue to love you and work towards encouraging, strengthening and loving you each and every day. Be blessed and be a blessing to me. I love you.