Misunderstood

"One should expect to be misunderstood and surprised if you're not. You have to work at communication." Ed Wortz

Feeling as if we have really been heard and acknowledged is like a magical healing potion. It doesn't matter if when you are listening that you agree, I just feel validated that I have been heard. What I said really matters. When you are able to get to that place of validation in friendships and relationships then when we have something uncomfortable to say you are aware that peoples self-defense mechanisms will come out. When you tell them something that has upset you, they immediately say" that's not true" "that's not what I meant". I even do it myself, its automatic. But whether or not the thing is done or said in that manner we can and must be concerned enough to know that there is a problem since the matter has been brought up in the first place. We validate them by listening and not dismissing or patronizing them. When we do this, we are on the road to good communication. Something that is very rare in relationships and friendships. Remember that I validate your existence and your feelings and comments. I search for a new approach in communicating.
How do we move forward?