School's In

Well I'm back.

No more of this lounging and taking care of myself. Its back to the grind. Nose to the grindstone and attitude firm and direct. Keep a cool face and never show your feelings.

What a day! Children come back on Monday and already we have two new initiatives to implement in addition to our own specific area classes. Its great to be back! I am happy to be back.

I need to be committed to the fullest extent. I will walk that road together. Do what I know needs to be done. Take the chance. Continue to try. Keep sending out the message, just like sending the resumes for a job. You send out a hundred (I have never actually sent out a hundred) but you keep trying until you get it right. Until you get the interview. Then you commit yourself to the position. Maybe you dont get the first one but you are now one step closer. I want to be one step closer. I need to be one step closer to you. I want to feel like I have sent out the hundred resumes and now I am in the interview stages. I need to know that I have been successful at this forever, long process. I believe you find comfort, somewhat, in it and I do love the fact that I know I can connect with you mono y mono. But its just not enough and I cannot continue to say one thing and do another. Its like I am lying and I dont want to be a liar. I dont want to be a failure. I dont want to lose. I dont want to give up.