The Simple

We complicate our lives when we allow someone to love us.
The baggage that we have always presents a huge deterent to people.

We can't change the fact that exposing our imtimate secrets is the job of someone else who can make money off of that fact.

Trophy wife I am not. Fat, overweight, checkered past, my family has lots of secrets that I'm sure they don't want plastered over the internet, newspapers, etc.I don't think you will be impressed or feel flattered by any pictures of me on a beach. Super Model I am not. Willing to do the beauty routine, weight loss, make up daily, of course, anything for you, but is that going to be enough?

My body cannot handle in-depth HD pictures and stuff right now. They will not be pretty.
All of them are absolutely valid reasons to run, not walk the other way.

I think, maybe if I am in a relationship, I might stop smoking.

I truly know that I am experiencing a mini nervous breakdown. Physically, emotionally, financially, I am breaking down. But it doesnt make me weak. I have been at crossroads in my life before. I didn't get to be 52 without going through a little stuff. I'm tougher than you think, but hey , your imagination is always worser than you think, most of the time.

As God says, be as gentle as lambs but strong as lions. I was paraphrasing.

Am I willing to "pretty myself up" so that I am as lovely as the newscasters who are on TV day and night, the ones who are constantly in your face? Can I handle the castor oil truth about what they will say about me and you? I don't know. Can I stand you being around pretty women all the time and not be jealous? I don't know. Who does?

Is it easier for me to be with someone who doesn't require so much from me? But who knows what life like that will be like too.

All I know is that I am in desperate need of a relationship with someone who loves me or at least is willing to take that leap for love. No man is an island and I am tired of standing alone. I need someone who wants to take care of me, love me and spend the rest of their life with me. If it works out then great, if not then at least I know I tried again. I can't just sit here and do nothing feeling the way that I do right now.

I can't honestly say that I am not seduced by you. You intrigue me to no end.  I am in love.

But I can't go another year on my own.

I know you believe I am not ready for your world and life yet. I probably need to go through MLP boot camp, and I feel I have, truly. You know how horrible it has been for you and you don't want it for anyone else, especially someone you love. But just like you found a way to reduce the aggravation with the puppy, people find a way to deal with the distractions in their lives.

This world is real and the people in it are real too. I don't know how much time I have left on this earth. No one has given me a death sentence or anything but I have spent over 20 years alone, I am ready for a relationship, with someone who is ready for one with me.

You have so much going on in your life right now.You are needed by so many who rely on you.  I know this is a bad time for you. Who knew I would be in this emotional state. But then, I don't want you to feel any obligations, you have made no promises, you can continue your sacrifice, you have so much at stake.

I tried a dating service in 2000, yuck.

Havent tried the internet, and won't.

He was from my past, he still loves me enough to want to get married and retire in South Carolina. This I know is real. With you its always a guess,, a hope, a wonder. I know that when he returns to the states, he will come to Chicago, he will want to get together. I will be receptive to his marriage proposal which I know he plans to ask. He's a good man and I know he can provide adequately for me and my family. He is a good, solid man and he is ready, now, for a relationship. He has a good heart.

Proverbs 7

Warning Against the Adulterous Woman

 ¹ My son, keep my words
   and store up my commands within you.
² Keep my commands and you will live;
   guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.
³ Bind them on your fingers;
   write them on the tablet of your heart.
⁴ Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
   and to insight, “You are my relative.”
⁵ They will keep you from the adulterous woman,
   from the wayward woman with her seductive words.  ⁶ At the window of my house
   I looked down through the lattice.
⁷ I saw among the simple,
   I noticed among the young men,
   a youth who had no sense.
⁸ He was going down the street near her corner,
   walking along in the direction of her house
⁹ at twilight, as the day was fading,
   as the dark of night set in.
 ¹⁰ Then out came a woman to meet him,
   dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.
¹¹ (She is unruly and defiant,
   her feet never stay at home;
¹² now in the street, now in the squares,
   at every corner she lurks.)
¹³ She took hold of him and kissed him
   and with a brazen face she said:
 ¹⁴ “Today I fulfilled my vows,
   and I have food from my fellowship offering at home.
¹⁵ So I came out to meet you;
   I looked for you and have found you!
¹⁶ I have covered my bed
   with colored linens from Egypt.
¹⁷ I have perfumed my bed
   with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
¹⁸ Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning;
   let’s enjoy ourselves with love!
¹⁹ My husband is not at home;
   he has gone on a long journey.
²⁰ He took his purse filled with money
   and will not be home till full moon.”
 ²¹ With persuasive words she led him astray;
   she seduced him with her smooth talk.
²² All at once he followed her
   like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer^[a] stepping into a noose^[b]
 23 till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
   little knowing it will cost him his life.
 ²⁴ Now then, my sons, listen to me;
   pay attention to what I say.
²⁵ Do not let your heart turn to her ways
   or stray into her paths.
²⁶ Many are the victims she has brought down;
   her slain are a mighty throng.
²⁷ Her house is a highway to the grave,
   leading down to the chambers of death.