I had all white friends. It was before children and marriage and real life. Now it's praying to God for my surgery, which is going to be fine😔
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Fleetwood Mac
I love you and hope all is well. I am listening to their Rumors album. This is an album I wore out in 1978-79. I was alone in London. Had just arrived and fell in love with this album . I know the words to every song, I was unhappy then, but it worked out.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Nehimiah 1 Commentary and reply
Bible Gateway Commentary , Matthew Henry's Commentary on Nehimiah 1
2. He pleads the relation wherein of old they stood to God: “These are thy servants and thy people (Neh. 1:10), whom thou hast set apart for thyself, and taken into covenant with thee. Wilt thou suffer thy sworn enemies to trample upon and oppress thy sworn servants? If thou wilt not appear for thy people, whom wilt thou appear for?” See Isa. 63:19. As an evidence of their being God’s servants he gives them this character (Neh. 1:11): “They desire to fear thy name; they are not only called by thy name, but really have a reverence for thy name; they now worship thee, and thee only, according to thy will, and have an awe of all the discoveries thou art pleased to make of thyself; this they have a desire to do,” which denotes, (1.) Their good will to it. “It is their constant care and endeavour to be found in the way of their duty, and they aim at it, though in many instances they come short.” (2.) Their complacency in it. “They take pleasure to fear thy name (so it may be read), not only do their duty, but do it with delight.” Those shall graciously be accepted of God that truly desire to fear his name; for such a desire is his own work.
Now we have a scoreboard: legal documentation
Whites 2. Blacks 1 ( we still have President Barack Obama. I'm sure it's a slap in the face for most of the whites, but thank God he got in, helped HealthCare, Immigrarion, and got Bin Laden. He's a Constitutional Lawyer and very smart. I pray for his leadership and guidance for our country. He has had to work with evil for many years. He knows it when he sees it. Good white people exist and good people in general exist, but just like the good exist, don't forget evil exist. Notice that the black men who make it in this world are the ones that don't scare white people, and men of authority, like the ones who come face to face with poor people everyday and forget they have rights too. Everyone could or should have been alert to the coaching done to the cop. Not to even indict for the least cause says so much. You work on our time schedule, we release the info when we want, and we control your every movement. His word against a multitude of witnesses, but all the witnesses are black, and we know their word can't be trusted. They lie and steal. He just stole cigarillos, I saw them in his hand. He scared me and he was stronger than me, even though we are about the same size, he's a big black man and I was scared of him. He stole and I killed him and I got married and feel just fine. Dear God, Dear God, Dear God. Lord if not now, when?
Depending on God
Nehemiah 1:1-11
Nehemiah 1 New International Reader's Version (NIRV)
Nehemiah Prays to the Lord
1 These are the words of Nehemiah. He was the son of Hacaliah.
I was in the safest place in Susa. I was there in the 20th year that Artaxerxes was king. It was in the month of Kislev. 2 At that time Hanani came from Judah with some other men. He was one of my brothers. I asked him and the other men about the Jews who were left alive in Judah. They had returned from Babylonia. I also asked him about Jerusalem.
3 He and the men who were with him said to me, “Some of the people who returned are still alive. They are back in the land of Judah. But they are having a hard time. People are making fun of them. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down. Its gates have been burned with fire.”
4 When I heard about those things, I sat down and sobbed. For several days I was very sad. I didn’t eat any food. And I prayed to the God of heaven. 5 I said,
“Lord, you are the God of heaven. You are a great and wonderful God. You keep the covenant you made with those who love you and obey your commands. You show them your love.
6 “Please pay careful attention to my prayer. See how your people are suffering. Please listen to me. I’m praying to you day and night. I’m praying for the people of Israel. We Israelites have committed sins against you. All of us admit it. I and my family have also sinned against you. 7 We’ve done some very evil things. We haven’t obeyed the commands, rules and laws you gave your servant Moses.
8 “Remember what you told him. You said, ‘If you people are not faithful, I will scatter you among the nations. 9 But if you return to me, I will bring you back. If you obey my commands, I will gather you together again. I will bring you back from the farthest places on earth. I will bring you to the special place where I have chosen to put my Name.’
10 “Lord, they are your people. They serve you. You used your great strength and mighty hand to set them free from Egypt. 11 Lord, please pay careful attention to my prayer. Listen to the prayers of all of us. We take delight in bringing honor to your name. Give me success today. Help King Artaxerxes show me his favor.”
I was the king’s wine taster.
New International Reader's Version (NIRV)
Copyright © 1996, 1998 by Biblica
The truth has been decided by one man and we are to believe his story because the grand jury hasn't indicted him. They have had months to coach him and his story is convincing again that the big black man overpowers him and it was self defense. None of the witnesses were white so their account of the story is skewed. He was in danger, he's calm and cool now and totally convinced that color makes no difference. Cool, calm, and collected. I did my job that day. I am and the there is remorse. He did his job, followed his training, he had never fired his gun before. Had he worked in black neighborhoods before. Had he taken him down like that cop at the Renanassince festival then maybe he would be alive.
We have to ask The Lord for Discernment. Discernment allows us to sit quietly,and breathe deeply, and allow myself to to become relaxed and peaceful. I ask God to give me discernment as I begin to study the book of Nehemiah.
ABC News has the exclusive with George Stephanopulus of the officers version. Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu were able to find forgiveness and peace with the police and with the authority.
In bible it says to pray for our leadership and people of authority. Their decisions should be accepted even if we feel the decision is an unjust. So, the story now us big black man, suspected of just robbing a convience store, scared cop the cop with his "Hulk" strength. So we just have to accept, non violence is the way. Use the law and the facts. It's not making me comfortable. Nehemiah says depend on God. I have been drawn to this and I know God needs people who care about justice. How ever long it takes.
Household Income And Demographics
Racial and Ethnic groups
Despite advances minorities have made to exit poverty, there is still an uneven racial distribution among the income quintiles. While White Americans made up roughly 75.1% of all persons in 2000,[47] 87.93% of all households in the top 5% were headed by a person who identified as being White alone. Only 4.75% of all household in the top 5% were headed by someone who identified him or herself as being Hispanic or Latino of any race,[48] versus 12.5% of persons identifying themselves as Hispanic or Latino in the general population.[47]
Overall, 86.01% of all households in the top two quintiles with upper-middle range incomes of over $55,331 were headed by a head of household who identified him or herself as White alone, while only 7.21% were being headed by someone who identified as being Hispanic and 7.37% by someone who identified as being African American or Black.[48] Overall, households headed by Hispanics and African Americans were underrepresented in the top two quintiles and overrepresented in the bottom two quintiles. Households headed by persons who identified as being Asian alone, on the other hand, were overrepresented among the top two quintiles. In the top five percent the percentage of Asians was nearly twice as high as the percentage of Asians among the general population. Whites were relatively even distributed throughout the quintiles only being underrepresented in the lowest quintile and slightly overrepresented in the top quintile and the top five percent.[48]
In terms of race in 2010 data, Asian American households had the highest median household income of $57,518, European-American households ranked second with $48,977, Hispanic or Latino households ranked third with $34,241. African-American or Black households had the lowest median household income of all races with $30,134.[49]
SOURCE: US Census Bureau, 2004[48]
Education and gender
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Our Value and Worth, we are the Bride of God
Ezekiel 16:1-19
When I read this it reminds me of my people. Black and brown, we are just thrown aside. Thank God God Loves us. we are Special to Him. We are thankful that we are forgiven daily. New mercies every day. Our desires control our actions. Doctor's Order supersede the wonderful and soulful worship. what will come of this. Treyvon Martin, Michael Brown, and thousands more. We need your help for justice Lord. We are thankful for your forgiveness. Forgive us Lord that every time a white man is scared or irritated by a black teen he shoots them and that seems to be OK in our society. Where is the value of life. The psychological aspect of human value and worth has to be reassessed and value must be given to our children's lives. Value the education, value the living conditions, value the teachers, value the parents, give them a living wage so they can take care of their family. Value us . Take the time to care. we are valuable. I am valuable. God died for me. ME. With all my sins, God died for me. God still sent his only son, Jesus to save me.
Thanks for loving me. I love you.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Nothing Shall Separate Us
My Love you have touched my heart and soul. My God is with me daily. I am thankful for everything. I give thanks for the troubles, cause grandma says, trouble don't last always. I will continue to thank The Lord for everything. The Lord Is my Shepard. You give me Joy when I trust in you for my healing. Blind obedience is a spiritual act. No matter what it looks like, Trust in God. I love You.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Where are We? What's really Going On?
Ezekiel 18-19
The Soul Who Sins Shall Die
The word of the Lord came to me: “What do you mean by repeating this proverb concerning the land of Israel, The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge’? As I live, declares the Lord God, this proverb shall no more be used by you in Israel. Behold, all souls are mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is mine: the soul who sins shall die.
Warning Against Worldliness
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep.
I am praying tha God hears my prayers. I love you and I lone The Lord. I have missed you. It's not the same on the internet, but at least I have some connection to you. Take care of yourself.
I have so much going on in my life right now. My Lord and please send my guardian angel of protection. I have messed up my life so badly. To just mention a few things. Like an idiot, I didn't get a lawyer when I had that claim against CPS so it expired. Even though it was 100 disability for the knee at the time. I didn't have the surgery done then because the doctor told me I was too young. Now I have missed it by a year with my claim. So, life goes on. December 1 I will have a total knee replacement. I have used it so much the leg is turning out. All the walking I have don on it. Now it's complete and total bed rest and I am following orders.
That's another thing, don't they know when a person's workers comp claim as a certain time limit. I'm just not happy with both of them right now. Then it's three-five days in the hospital, alone. Yes alone because let's not forget Dad is at home on hospice, basically we are on the death watch. My mother hates it when I say that but that's what it is. Tend to his needs, turn him every four hours, crush mess, etc. we have help in so far three times a week but when I have my surgery, I won't be much help then. Of course it takes time to find someone, and I want them as honest as possible. The last one stole and that just wasn't honest. You let these people in and you have to trust to a certain degree. Doctors, nurses, social workers, CNA, aides, I don't even want to think of the amount of work involved with what they do. They are remarkable at this end stage period. Very patient.
I wanted he and my mom to marry. She's been taking care of him for the past eight years. I asked him and he said he would. He asked her and she said she would. Now she wants to back out and say wait. Wait for what? Contacted the clerk and they need both their signatures, so we have to get him there. First they were going to come to us now we have to come to them. How am I suppose to do that? Then we need a judge to marry them. Of course that's too much trouble for her so lets not do that. Let's just wait. I say do it now, as soon as possible while he is cognitive and lucid. But what do I know, I'm an idiot.
Now to top it off, I know when the operation happens, everything will be fine but I'm apprehensive. No one willbe there with me. Life is perculiar. I am doing a genealogy search of my family tree again. I had done some work years ago and then stopped. Now I have picked it back up and this time I ordered a DNA kit. I'm going to use it on my father. My mother is upset that I'm doing this. She's just mad because she thinks I will find out she was married before my dad and my brother is by that man, who was killed/died in the military shortly after they got married. I could care less. We knew, my brother and, for al long time, one of my mom's closest friend told us when we were young.
I just love the Skip Gates show'Finding Your Roots' on PBS. I just need to be occupied in this recuperation period. I contacted the union to tell them tat teacher's should not have to be on ladders and stuff to hang things on the wall. I bet I'm not the only teacher to fall putting up print support. They just don't care about the teachers. Blame us for everything, pay us low wages, and make us handle 5-6 professional roles with each of our underprivileged students already. The system is set up to the fail for us. We are obviously disposable.
The gap between middle class and poverty is like a brook drying up. The gap between middle class and wealthy is like the Grand Canyon. I pray that this immigration move will help the country. I back the president. He did what he could do with the forces against him. The rich will have to just give to the people for their tax breaks. They don't even want to raise minimum wage. They have blinders on. People are struggling out here very badly.
The middle class that can't get the private or government assistance. I remember they just sent every American a check for a couple hundred dollars. They need to find a plan to pay the people . Increase the level of survival for our people. The wages haven't really changed for over thirty years. My young junior achievement leader told the class she makes over 100,000 a year. First off, I don't make that much and I bet I work way harder than she does. I have experience, degrees, I speak well, look ok, why can't I be more successful. I keep making the wrong choices in my life. That's why I need God. I can't do this without him and it looks like it's going to be he and I until the end. I'm feeling pretty low right now, have been for a while. I've been on bed rest since the 7th of November, but it's been cleaning up and taking care of my dad. Lord can something good happen in my life. Anything Lord.
I don't know what to write anymore. It all seems to be complaints. Lord help me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Have a blessed evening, I love you.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
End Stage Renal Disease
Dear Lord, you have allowed my father to come home to die. Hospice care at home. I wonder if you knew I would need this time off and that is why my surgery is scheduled for this Tim. Of course you did. How will this work for me? Right now I am just going through the motions. It could be weeks, months or years. Doctor prognosis, weeks. Glory to you nam Almighty God. In your hands I leave this situation.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Internet
OK, so its been awhile since I saw the broadcast live. Well, some things have changed and some are different. Drayton's mike is on the whole time. We hear him and the violinist talking about music matters. The children were awesome. The girls were very involved. That young man was an awesome reader.
The Levees are flowing over
I just seem to have a lot of talk in me. This might just keep going all morning. I validate myself with a voice. My opinions matter. I count. I cast my early vote on Thursday. I'm a Chicago voter now. CPS is just so annoying. But I have a choice. I chose them and now ten years down the road and we are fighting. I made the decision to return, I don't think we ever stopped fighting. How is it that every thing is a struggle. Relax, I find myself slowing down. I take the elevator at school more. I'm just slowing down. If I didn't have God in my life, what would I do. Praise God.
Volleyball
That's the girl sport that you need to promoted for women, girls. Volleyball. They need something now. I would coach. Do you have cancer? Did my mother hear that right, so long ago?
Whatever.i knew the brain tumor but was that cancerous? Now my mind is on cancer.
Father God, now I know that my prayers are heard. Today's devotion says, your weakness does not repel me. On the contrary, it attracts My Power, which is always available to flow into a yielded heart. Do not condemn yourself for your constant need of help. Instead, come to Me with your gaping neediness; let the Light of My Love fill you.
Psalm 116:5-7
Ephesians 5:20
Isaiah 30:15
I know The Lord loves me.
My thoughts
Women, I just watched the PBS special, Makers, Women in Business and I think I am feeling a need to voice my opinions to the world, or at least you. Where do I start. I left my beautiful purple outfit at the cleaners.
I I was totally exhausted from the Halloween day at school. Up and down the stairs. That is a big,huge, old building. We had a parade and went on every floor to show off costumes. Every child had a costume. I had two students who did not participate, but, for the most part everyone, including teachers and some staff wore costumes. All day celebration. I know the children were excited because the weather had indicated it would be windy, cold, snowy, rainy and just plain horrible.
Then the knee begins to just throb. Driving is the worst. I will not miss the driving. My anticipation with this operation is crazy. December 1, my journey begins. I tried to watch a you tube video of the operation, it was an hour or more and I just made it for maybe five minutes. I think I want to know, but the scar is going to be huge. This is workers comp and CPS is not responding. They paid for the other operation and will pay for this too. I have to get a lawyer involved.
I can't believe I am the first teacher to fall while putting up print support. It's could be a civil suit. That's probably why they aren't responding.
They demand that we put it up, but don't seem to guarantee our safety in high places. These old buildings have high ceilings. You can look at older pictures and see no print support. Things need to be placed responsibly. Enough said on that because I am the one it affects and I may seem like a complainer but it's the truth. I have also been nauseated with the medicine I have been taking. That's not been any fun.
The classroom is so hot, I open the window and the building engineer is up to my room because he can see the flap moving more or something to do with the boiler, but he won't stop the heat from coming to my room. Turn it off. I am hot in that classroom. I tell him to turn off the heat. Turn the thermostats down. He won't do it. Because I have opened the window, something flies in my eyes, again, and I have an allergic reaction, again. I am truly allergic to that building. I get allergy shots each week. I will bring in a doctors note. I need the air conditioner on. That is so frustrating having to fight over a comfortable and safe work environment.
Then, yeah, you are getting it all, one of my fourth graders is sexually assaulted. A boy he is in class with enticed him into the girls bathroom and there was a girl hiding in there who heard the boy say to freak him and freak her. My kid was shocked. Screaming to get out and the boy locked/wouldn't let him pass. Finally he let him out. He told the counselor, the boy does het two days. This involved a six, fifth, and fourth grader. I hate that these children have to fear for their luves in the school. No child should have to live with that betrayal. I think I will get involved with that more. My student is planning on transferring. The boy is back, with a one on one, female, so she has to make sure bathrooms are clear first, before he can go. First of all, somebody did something to him. This six grader has a serious problem. He's a serial predatator. He's done stuff to teachers too.
My memory seems to be going too. Organization is so important to make this a smooth transition for my fourth graders. You only get to go through fourth grade once, you make a connection with the students and they make a connection with you. Father God protect those babies. I got another one, his mother beating him upside the head every chance she gets, it's the slave mentality. Brutality. We have got to stop hitting and hurting our young. When we stop hitting them, they will stop killing each other. I have to tell my child that she has to stop hitting my grandson. You did it, she will say. I tell her, I was wrong. I was beat and I did the only thing I knew to raise a child. Beating our children has to stop. Stop the negative behavior, respect them. Here it is going to be youth Sunday and I don't think I will come. I have nothing to wear. I love you.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Romans 8:33-35
Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died – more than that, who was raised – who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword (Romans 8:33 - 8:35 ESV)
Isaiah 7:4
And the Lord said to Isaiah, “Go out to meet Ahaz, you and Shear-jashub your son, at the end of the conduit of the upper pool on the highway to the Washer’s Field. And say to him, ’Be careful, be quiet, do not fear, and do not let your heart be faint because of these two smoldering stumps of firebrands, at the fierce anger of Rezin and Syria and the son of Remaliah (Isaiah 7:3 - 7:4 ESV)
Pray that we will not lose heart
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