Give Me Wisdom

What to do, what to do. My world has changed overnight. Woke up yesterday to my father gasping and gurgling, eyes rolled back and in a diabetic coma. Call 911, they come quickly, they give him a dextrose bolus and he begins to return to normal. What the heck is going on!!!! Why am I the one checking his blood all the time? Why doesn't he take any interest in his health? Why is he so distant about his health? So I think I am OK, I go to work. I get through the morning and I stop to tell my Asst. Principal that I will be out for two days and suddenly I break down and just start crying uncontrollably. Where is this coming from?  My principal comes in and gives me the hard talk, death, nursing home, power of attorney. She's been through this with her own mother.  He'll be mad but he will get over it. I don't want to have guilt racking me day and night on what I should have done, but didn't. Take Charge Carthan. Now I'm really bawling. No one ever mentioned death. I knew it was imminent, but I didn't think of it. So I am sent home for the rest of the week. Handle my business are my instructions. How do I mention nursing home? Long term health? I can't do it 24/7. What do I do? What are the cost? Can he hold out until November for me to change his insurance and get the long term health insurance? Should I make a decision even if he doesn't want to do it? How do I even start the conversation? Remember, I don't want to have been able to do something and not have done it. How do I do what I need to do? God help me. Give me knowledge and wisdom.

2 Chronicles 1

Solomon Asks for Wisdom

 ¹ Solomon son of David established himself firmly over his kingdom, for the LORD his God was with him and made him exceedingly great.  ² Then Solomon spoke to all Israel—to the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds, to the judges and to all the leaders in Israel, the heads of families- ³ and Solomon and the whole assembly went to the high place at Gibeon, for God's Tent of Meeting was there, which Moses the LORD's servant had made in the desert. ⁴ Now David had brought up the ark of God from Kiriath Jearim to the place he had prepared for it, because he had pitched a tent for it in Jerusalem. ⁵ But the bronze altar that Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, had made was in Gibeon in front of the tabernacle of the LORD; so Solomon and the assembly inquired of him there. ⁶ Solomon went up to the bronze altar before the LORD in the Tent of Meeting and offered a thousand burnt offerings on it.
 ⁷ That night God appeared to Solomon and said to him, "Ask for whatever you want me to give you."
 ⁸ Solomon answered God, "You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me king in his place. ⁹ Now, LORD God, let your promise to my father David be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. ¹⁰ Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?"
 ¹¹ God said to Solomon, "Since this is your heart's desire and you have not asked for wealth, riches or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, ¹² therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you. And I will also give you wealth, riches and honor, such as no king who was before you ever had and none after you will have."
 ¹³ Then Solomon went to Jerusalem from the high place at Gibeon, from before the Tent of Meeting. And he reigned over Israel.
 ¹⁴ Solomon accumulated chariots and horses; he had fourteen hundred chariots and twelve thousand horses, ^[a] which he kept in the chariot cities and also with him in Jerusalem. ¹⁵ The king made silver and gold as common in Jerusalem as stones, and cedar as plentiful as sycamore-fig trees in the foothills. ¹⁶ Solomon's horses were imported from Egypt ^[b] and from Kue ^[c]—the royal merchants purchased them from Kue. ¹⁷ They imported a chariot from Egypt for six hundred shekels ^[d] of silver, and a horse for a hundred and fifty. ^[e] They also exported them to all the kings of the Hittites and of the Arameans.