Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
You are a magnet to my heart
I dont know why I am constantly thinking about you and wondering how we can make this better.
What is the attraction?
How is it that I feel we have so much to gain and that it would be a loss to lose you? You are in my soul, my mind and in my heart.
I want this to work and I want it to work with a true passion infinite and long lasting love. What the heck is going on? How do you love a man who spy's on you? Someone who doesn't trust you, someone who has done it for years and found nothing, nothing, nothing. Have you changed your mind, are you convinced this is wrong, what have you gained? How has this benefited you? What have you accomplished? I have know for so long but thought that at some point you would see there is nothing, I am boring and simple, what have you gained? Nothing. Nothing, Nothing.
What is the attraction?
How is it that I feel we have so much to gain and that it would be a loss to lose you? You are in my soul, my mind and in my heart.
I want this to work and I want it to work with a true passion infinite and long lasting love. What the heck is going on? How do you love a man who spy's on you? Someone who doesn't trust you, someone who has done it for years and found nothing, nothing, nothing. Have you changed your mind, are you convinced this is wrong, what have you gained? How has this benefited you? What have you accomplished? I have know for so long but thought that at some point you would see there is nothing, I am boring and simple, what have you gained? Nothing. Nothing, Nothing.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Options
Why did I come home yesterday and fill out an application for a job teaching overseas at a DOD school in 2011?
After I did it I realized that we are both seeking something more. We haven't found it yet. You are looking for assurances that this is the real deal, that its really from God, that I am going to stay forever. God is not going to show you that. Its going to require a leap of faith. I am looking for the same thing. It requires that same leap of faith. We have the same problem. Houston, we have a problem.
After I did it I realized that we are both seeking something more. We haven't found it yet. You are looking for assurances that this is the real deal, that its really from God, that I am going to stay forever. God is not going to show you that. Its going to require a leap of faith. I am looking for the same thing. It requires that same leap of faith. We have the same problem. Houston, we have a problem.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Love on a two way street
I cant believe you used that song.
You know its really a sad song.
I found Love on a two way street and lost it on a lonely highway.
I wonder did you find out anything useful. Did you realize something that you didn't already know or suspect? Did you decide if I was worth the chance? Did you find out anything strange or interesting about me?
You want confirmation that I wont leave you and I want confirmation that you wont leave me. Physically and emotionally.
I cant blame you too much, after all I wont talk to you and that causes a lot of distress, when you say you love someone but wont talk to them. So I give you some leeway with that. After all, we are not what you would call normal by any stretch of the definition, but we are who we are and no one is really "normal", whatever that is.
What is it you need to know, ask me. I am not that mysterious. As you have well found out, I can curse like a sailor, probably because I was one, I don't like to do a lot of cleaning, I have more exciting things to do like watch a movie or read something. What do you want to know. What is it?
What ministery is it that I should be dedicated to? Communication, Health, Eucharistic, Word these are all of the ministries I have been a part of at one time ora another.
Just tell me what you would like me to do. What, what is it? Stop the wondering and guessing, just say it.
You know its really a sad song.
I found Love on a two way street and lost it on a lonely highway.
I wonder did you find out anything useful. Did you realize something that you didn't already know or suspect? Did you decide if I was worth the chance? Did you find out anything strange or interesting about me?
You want confirmation that I wont leave you and I want confirmation that you wont leave me. Physically and emotionally.
I cant blame you too much, after all I wont talk to you and that causes a lot of distress, when you say you love someone but wont talk to them. So I give you some leeway with that. After all, we are not what you would call normal by any stretch of the definition, but we are who we are and no one is really "normal", whatever that is.
What is it you need to know, ask me. I am not that mysterious. As you have well found out, I can curse like a sailor, probably because I was one, I don't like to do a lot of cleaning, I have more exciting things to do like watch a movie or read something. What do you want to know. What is it?
What ministery is it that I should be dedicated to? Communication, Health, Eucharistic, Word these are all of the ministries I have been a part of at one time ora another.
Just tell me what you would like me to do. What, what is it? Stop the wondering and guessing, just say it.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Time
I wrote the entry on the first, I just didnt edit it when I wrote it. I was still under the influence of the National Board. I know I wrote it and I am willing to stand by my postings. Report card pick up was fine except for one parent. She totaly wanted to have a fight with me and I rescheduleded her for today. We met this morning with the asst prioncipal and she was consistently rude and disrespectful to me. Her son received a D and I showed proof that he should have received an F but I gave him a D. First the parent wanted to fight then I had to show her that her son was not doing what he was suppose to be doing then the tables turned on him.
I am so happy that we have two weeks off. This week is devoted to holy week and to my dad. Next it is Liz. I am going to Seattle. I cant wait. Then its back to school. God is good. I had a round trip ticket that I didnt use to go to New York, when my aunt died and now I get to use it to go to Seattle. During the summer I plan to go to London, again. That is my second home. I plan on taking my dad with me. We only have six weeks because our school starts early. I have to use my time wisely.
I am so happy that we have two weeks off. This week is devoted to holy week and to my dad. Next it is Liz. I am going to Seattle. I cant wait. Then its back to school. God is good. I had a round trip ticket that I didnt use to go to New York, when my aunt died and now I get to use it to go to Seattle. During the summer I plan to go to London, again. That is my second home. I plan on taking my dad with me. We only have six weeks because our school starts early. I have to use my time wisely.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
It is Done
I had to drive down to the post office in Chicago to make sure it was postmarked today. It was after 11pm but I have done it. Glory be to God. Its in the mail on its way to Texas. Now for the test in June, but thats June. Right now its done. Finished. Out of my hair, my house, my life. Thank you Jesus. I have not slept for two and a half days. I didnt sleep at all Sunday night. I just stayed up and wrote all night long then went to work. I wasnt even tired. Monday I come home and I cant even take a nap, I finally sleep for about four hours and then I am up again at 2am. Havent been to sleep since. My back hurts and I am just so ready to go on spring break for two weeks. Courage comes from faith. Now to get back to my life.
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