Psalm 8:6-14
Arise, Lord, in your anger;
rise up against the rage of my enemies.
Awake, my God; decree justice.
7 Let the assembled peoples gather around you,
while you sit enthroned over them on high.
8 Let the Lord judge the peoples.
Vindicate me, Lord, according to my righteousness,
according to my integrity, O Most High.
9 Bring to an end the violence of the wicked
and make the righteous secure—
you, the righteous God
who probes minds and hearts.
rise up against the rage of my enemies.
Awake, my God; decree justice.
7 Let the assembled peoples gather around you,
while you sit enthroned over them on high.
8 Let the Lord judge the peoples.
Vindicate me, Lord, according to my righteousness,
according to my integrity, O Most High.
9 Bring to an end the violence of the wicked
and make the righteous secure—
you, the righteous God
who probes minds and hearts.
10 My shield is God Most High,
who saves the upright in heart.
11 God is a righteous judge,
a God who displays his wrath every day.
12 If he does not relent,
he will sharpen his sword;
he will bend and string his bow.
13 He has prepared his deadly weapons;
he makes ready his flaming arrows.
who saves the upright in heart.
11 God is a righteous judge,
a God who displays his wrath every day.
12 If he does not relent,
he will sharpen his sword;
he will bend and string his bow.
13 He has prepared his deadly weapons;
he makes ready his flaming arrows.
14 Whoever is pregnant with evil
And conceives trouble gives birth to disillusionment.
15 Whoever digs a hole and scoops it out
falls into the pit they have made.
16 The trouble they cause recoils on them;
their violence comes down on their own heads.
falls into the pit they have made.
16 The trouble they cause recoils on them;
their violence comes down on their own heads.
17 I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness;
I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High.
I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High.
Father God, help me to explain the thoughts in my head in a very clear and mindful manner. I love you so much. I'm unhappy that we are apart.
It's all my fault. I see you at events and church and I barely get a look from you, barely a nod, a hello, sometimes nothing. Where do I fit in your life?
Am I loved by you or am I just another groupie? Do you see me at all anymore? I start to doubt your love and then remind myself that it's my fault. My fault for not wanting to ruin your reputation and legacy. I think you are the greatest.
I'm infatuated by you, I had a near death experience and recovery lasted for months. I went to the dells with my family and now I'm leaving for a month. Peace be with me on my journey. If I were here I wouldn't be able to go on the Friday night walks, I can't keep up. I barely was able to walk at the dells.
I will be resting in Seattle, doing nothing else. I wonder when I post if I'm just talking to myself. I don't want to stress you out about my concerns because I know you have so many responsibilities and so many people who need you daily.
Who am I to even suggest that you can be in a relationship. I know you have wants and desires too. Comforting you, encouraging you, being there for you is important to me. How can I do that for you? How do I fit into your life? How can I make myself better for you?
We are human beings, we are not perfect, we all have our flaws. I'm coming back better than I was. Maybe if I don't have to chase the money every day, maybe if I don't have to hear the demands everyday, I might get better mentally and physically. I thank you for my job, my spiritual being, my love and trust in you has grown more and more.
The years don't diminish my love, it's steady. I'm packing now, getting ready to leave for four weeks with another daughter and her family unit. I have done nothing but put out fires between the son in law and my grandson and daughter. I pray for some kind of peace. I'll come back, and things will still be the same. I think I'm talking to myself when I write in my blog. I just want some security and that's not possible. It's hand to mouth. Non paycheck to non paycheck. God knows I messed up. Workers comp claim I messed up, didn't get more insurance for my dad, stopped my heart insurance two months before the attack, I just don't seem to make right decisions for myself. This is probably not a good decision too. I just have to stop making decisions for a while. The fact of the matter is I'm trying to make some good decisions and to be a supportive, loving person. I don't want to even post this, it sounds so whiny. I know something always happens. Who knows what's next. I know I want a future with you, I just don't know how to do it. I turn it over to God, do I want it to happen, yes, Lord, yes, do I know how to make it happen, no. So I will end this long and drawn out explanation, excuse, wish, dream, desire, and hope. Staying hopeful keeps me going. Be Blessed and be a blessing to someone. I love you. Think of me sometime.
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