Second Chance

God has given me a second chance. I realize I want to have a husband. I need a companion, a friend, a lover. Someone who loves me. I am putting myself out there emotionally. I mean to say, I am ready and if you aren't, I will keep looking for someone else. 

I'm going to try to drive myself next week. I'm going to come in for my birthday. I meet a lot of people out here at the doctors office and hospitals. I have been in three hospitals since December. I don't have a lot of time and I am responsible for my own happiness. Now if you have moved on since the many years that you have proposed to me. You are faithful and energetic still, but I need someone who has time for me. I have been through hell. 

My faith is strengthen since God brought me through. I realized after researching the disease that I had 8 of the 18 symptoms. I never knew. G.E.R.D. What was to be a simple knee surgery has turned into life changing, learning curve, lifestyle, adjustments. I am in charge of my happiness. If God keep me quiet because I have felt jealous, then I will move on. My waiting for you might be in vain. You have many people who need you and I am in a needy position right now emotionally from my husband to be. I need to be together, see each other, comfort one oat her. I haven't found anyone because I kept waiting for you. I can't wait any longer. I am a creation of our Lord And Savior. I am meant to be happy. My happiness matter. I need a mate. I am looking for a husband.

This will be new ground for me, but I'm ready for the challenge. Can I find someone to love me before I leave this earth. Spiritually I am connected to you. I love you, but if this is not the right time for you then, I will move on to someone who has time for me. I was a caregiver for eight years. I teach urban city children in a town that the youth call Chiraq' , the idea of war is glamorous to them. Veterans and people out of the economic fray are in the front lines. 

I am a veteran of eight years overseas during the Iran hostage crisis. Our unit received a letter bomb even though I was in London, right across from the embassy. Life is unique. My life is different. Social status and anger is still paramount in how the youth act. It's always about respect. He didn't respect me. I haven't been in school since November but it is evident in my ten years that the parents are from the crack aged children who didn't care and did not mother and nurture their children who now have children. And don't know to mother them. Nurturing and discussion groups for them to share their thoughts are important. God is good. God is watching me. His eye is on the sparrow so I know he is watching me.