Tangible Elements of Life

Dear Lord, what am I trying to do? Tangible proof that you love me? Residency, how interesting that I went through residency verification. I now am an official resident of the city. First I was hired because I was qualified in an area where there was a deficit. Ten years had a waiver, now all the schools get closed and there is a surplus of teachers. I'm no longer special. I'm just ordinary. I needed to have my principal sign a document stating that I would be in the same role for three years. Well, new principal and I don't get along so I felt it was better not too have her be the deciding factor on whether I keep my job. I did what I had to do. I am the bread winner in this family. Daddy didn't leave us anything so far that is worthwhile. I have to keep working for nine more years. We are going to see if we can backtrack on this workers comp. my decision making on whether I have make up or a wig is very irrelevant right now. I have to go back to surgery, day surgery, on February 23. Should be a piece of cake. I remember when I worked at Northwestern Hospital as a unit secretary on the oncology floor, Man and woman check in, done this many times, this time, some small thing happened and she was dead. Probably one out of a thousand, or even hundred thousand, but she was that one. I keep thinking about me everytime I go in for some surgery. I know God has me in his hands and that I am loved and cherished. I worship my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know to pray. Tangible, real, hugs and whispers in my ears that everything will be alright. People lives are at stake. People love each other. At least that's the image portrayed. Reality, for me anyway, is that I will be alone. Šomeone will go with me at 6am and we should be done and on our way home in two hours. Love me, need me, want me.