Howdy

What a week. Thank God for the week. How I miss you. There is so much I want to say and yet I keep quiet. How do you feel?

 As I sit here thinking about what my surgeon said this week, I just think how did I agree to this? Now it seems I may need a second surgery, if I don't get my knee to bend 90 degrees. He feels at this point, almost six weeks down, that I should be able to do that. 

I go back to him on the 27th and if I am not at 90 degrees then it back in surgery to remove scar tissue. The therapist that I see three times a week feels like it's her personal mission to torture me at each visit and to push my leg to 90 degrees weather I am ready or not. I leave there in tears every time. This has been a horrible week. Two more weeks. With the torturer before I see the doctor again.

 God be with me. I want 90 degrees so I can drive and stuff. I just hate the process to get there. I don't want a limp. I want to be the best I can be. Dear Lord, fix me now. I don't know if I can stand the pain. Especially now that I am off the real pain pills. Don't want to become addicted. They give you the regular pain meds and they are crap. God is good and I know I can get through this whole and without a limp. No limp for me. I can do this. 

The pain is excruciating but I know it's for my own good. Beàr the pain.be strong, you can do it. I hear all the encouraging words and phrases, but when you are going through it, sometimes it's minute by minute to just get through. Enough of my sorrows. I had to get it out and now I have. Day by day, it will get better, just not this day. 

I keep my mind on other things, like getting the presidential library on the south side, finding better support to defeat the nra, thinking of all the students who will benefit from two years of college paid for. Those things keep me hopeful. 

I researched the church for the 2016 celebration and found out the architect is the same one who built my grammar school. Same year too. We have so much in common. I'm focusing on something else besides me. I like to think about you. You played my favorite song on Sunday. I love it when you play.

I love you, be blessed.