for the evil man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out.
Proverbs 24:14
Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope
Where do I begin to thank you for this year. Thank you for every time you stepped in and blocked what could have been a disaster for me this year. Thank you for the time to reflect and learn about my choices that I have made and the consequences I have received because of them. There have been some really close calls in 2013 where I wasn't sure if the future would have a good outcome. I thank you Lord for being there and stepping in to make a difference in my life. I couldn't have done it without you. Sometimes I didn't make a wise choice. Sometimes I didn't know the right thing to do. Sometimes I just didn't know what I was doing and why I was doing it. Thank You Lord for guiding me even when I couldn't guide myself. I am encouraged to know that you are there for me. Though I don't know why you are not very supportive of me with this love thing. I have not had one positive thing happen in that area. Its like I have shut myself out of any chance at a relationship. I know nothing. I need so much help in this area. If I had to grade myself, It would be a big fat F. I think you have left me alone in that area. Where are you Lord? I need you to show up and show out in that area. I'm just not making a fuss about it. I don't know what to make a fuss about. I know wanting someone to be supportive and being supportive of someone is very important. Being there is very important. I'm too far away. Travel is just becoming a big problem. I did cancel the class I was taking on Tuesdays. I can now be at bible study so hopefully I'll learn something about myself. I want to treat people better. I want to be a plus in this world. Nothing good has happened in this love arena. You are with me through the good and the bad. This year began with me out of sorts. No, classroom, but still working, like a sub, but on two week assignments. It was crazy. I was recovering from a really bad flu and I began the first two months really disconnected from my job. I took a lot of sick days. Then I started to like a few of my assignments and I liked the idea of not having to put up with some of the mess from principals and assistant principals and the knowledge that I would be leaving soon. Then, I wanted someplace to call my own. I knew with the school closings at the end of the year it would be hard to find someplace likable. I stayed too long at one place and couldn't wait to leave, then finished at a pretty decent school. Being a teacher is a very demanding job, emotionally and academically. I was glad I didn't have to pack up rooms, finalize grades, put in reports. That was good. Walk away clean. Then the summer hits and half way through I began to realize the fact that I need a position, a school, some place to call my own. Plus there was the wedding. Then the nursing/rehabilitation home for daddy. The responsibility was too much. I need him to be more interested in his life. After too many applications and resumes I was blessed to get a call out of the blue for a job. Thank you Lord for that one. I really needed some stability. I am at a new school, a welcoming school, combined with the K-3 and 4-8 to make a K-8 school. New principal, New teachers, New structures, We all had to come together and make this work. The challenges are many, but I would like to believe that its worth it. We need more unity with the staff and administration. Administration has to be supportive of the teachers. I am staying late almost every night. I have six classes and tons of papers to grade. Labs to prepare. Then there was the breast cancer scare. Thank God nothing came of that. Now its back to making resolutions and promises to keep. I'm looking forward for 2014 to be better. I'm thankful to be here to welcome in another year. Why does the weather have to be so bad? Come what may, I am ready to see the end of 2013 and can't wait for 2014 to get here. Well, here's another one of my too long, rambling, unfocused, posts. I think I wanted to shed everything from 2013 and start fresh. Release the old, and grasp the new. I'm excited about 2014. I'm hopeful. It has to be better. I have faith.
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