Congratulations, Again

I'm so proud of you for your service and commitment to doing what is right.

You deserve that and more. You have paid a dear price for all of your service and you are never forgotten. I will never leave you alone. You do so much for the community and we all know you don't have to do it. You could have walked away many times but you sacrificed your freedom in order to make a better life for those that need someone like you the most. You make a difference in the lives of everyone you are around and you are good with the kids. People who have not had champions that could and would fight for and with them are blessed to have you. Thank you. 

I don't know what it is that I want. I know I don't like wrestling with 90 students, below level, trying to teach them something that some want to learn and some don't. I don't like working with limited resources, putting in long hours and they still don't get it, won't do their homework, unprepared students, and the expectation that they will succeed on the same level as those with unlimited resources. I don't like having to deal with children who constantly battle with each other verbally and physically and don't mind pushing the limit with me being disrespectful constantly. I don't like having to train children that should have been trained at home to respect teachers and others. I like teaching and learning, its just the rest of the stuff that goes along with it. I thank God for hearing my prayers and sending me help. I have parents in the classroom and that has made it better in regards to classroom behavior.Now that the behavior is under control I can actually teach. I like children. I care about their future. I want them to succeed and do better. I care about them. I wouldn't still be there if I didn't care about them. I'm not heartless. I'm just trying to fit in where I thought I wanted to be. But it looks like where I thought I wanted to be was not making me happy. Now that I have help I am not as stressed as before. Now maybe I can correct papers more and get lesson plans done on time. Get focused on my purpose and role and not feel like I'm drowning in stuff. I think about changing jobs but what if I don't like that one. So I stick with it and continue to tweak my problems. I know its hard, I know it doesn't just happen over night. I remember being a little girl and wanting to be a teacher. I chose to go a different path because they don't pay enough. Finally I decided, after twenty years of being in other closely related careers to actually go for the teaching elementary students. I thought about high school and maybe I will transition to that arena one day. I like the fact that middle schoolers  are still trainable and influenced by positive things. Its still education. Well, I wanted to get some things off my mind, let you know I missed you, I was thinking of you and I love you.