Recognizing Authority

Everything seems so clear when I am with you. You make it simple and direct. The options are there, the focus is clear. You know when I have the baggage of the world and need to just put it down. Just recognize authority and submit. I wonder what it is that keeps us going like this. I haven't mentioned love and being in love lately, but it doesn't mean I'm not. I'm wondering why things seem to be the way they are , but then I try not to wonder. I want to respect authority. I believe its important to recognize and honor authority. I want to be with you. I say that and then feel like a hypocrite for all the "stuff as usual" behavior. I just stopped saying it. I have to take authority over this. I blamed the stress of this job, the demands of my family and my inability to make a connection with you for the distance we seem to be having. I thought if I could improve the in person behavior then I wouldn't have to have an entry to communicate with you. Obviously, I seem to think I am in control of this and I am not. I just have to let go and let God.