Faith

I have faith that God hears the prayers of his people. You know, I was worried when Rauner picked Meeks for Secretary of Education. I don't trust that man. I don't have one thing to pinpoint exactly, but he just seems shifty. I don't see any improvement at all for education for the poor and middle class black and brown students. He made a deal for himself, not for the people. What is in store for us with this new governor is lots of cuts. God you know my heart and what I can do, I want to be healthy fit you. You don't want somebody sick, I want to be confident and sure in you, I don't want to be insecure. God knows I need reassurance. I ask God to show me what he wants me to do. Do I keep loving and hoping or do I move on. Lord God you know what we need. I  need you Lord, I need you. Guide me, love me, keep me close. Hold me in your arms and keep me safe and secure. I love you.

Today is a Good Day

God is good and he hears the prayers of his people. The doctor har God and so so good news. We are going to wait two more weeks and then if no change, manipulation surgery.  He's going to prescribe a new torture machine for me to work on and we will see how that works. I can't go swimming or excercise in the pool because it's too slippery and I have to think safety first, which makes sense. I drove to his office, which is the farthest I've driven and that was a challenge, but I did it. Then I went to the library to pick up my library card which had been left there over a month. Then I went to the post office and mailed sympathy cards to everyone. I included one for you too because I love you. Well after that, I'm exhausted. I have been trying to increase my activity. We are going to work on balance more, so two more weeks. God is good. I trust you.

Today

You hold my hand and walk with me. You are faithful and loving and kind. I am yours and you are mine. Father God, let met know that this love is for real. I rely on you to bring me closer. I have to open my heart and trust in you. Today, I go back to the doctor. It will be a good appointment. We will not have to have another surgery. I am just a slow healer. His is just a bump in the road. Lord keep me balanced. I almost fell four times yesterday. Sloe me down. Help me to pay attention. We will not have any setbacks. I love you and pray that you are taking good care of yourself. If I could, I would make you a bowl of soup and some tea. Please take good care of yourself, I love you.

I Miss You

It's been almost three months since I have been at a Sunday church service. I watch every week. I pay my tithes. I pray with the church. I go into praise and worship with you because you have brought me to God and I never want to forget that. I love you. I don't like to hear that you don't feel well. Now you must take care of yourself. Drink plenty of fluids, get your rest, take whatever medicine that you are suppose to take. Wear your hat, scarf and gloves when you go out. Don't push yourself unnecessarily. Now I'm nagging. I don't want to nag. Just get some rest and really get some rest. I know you are an Alpha male and don't believe in slowing down, but please slow down. God is good and it will be alright soon, very soon. Take Çare of yourself, I love you.

God has a plan

Isaiah I  55:1 “Come, all you who are thirsty.Come and drink the water I offer to you.You who do not have any money, come.Buy and eat the grain I give you.Come and buy wine and milk.You will not have to pay anything for it.  Isaiah 55:2-13 Why spend money on what is not food?Why work for what does not satisfy you?Listen carefully to me.Then you will eat what is good.You will enjoy the richest food there is. Listen and come to me.Pay attention to me.Then you will live.I will make a covenant with you that will last forever.I will give you my faithful love.I promised it to David. I made him a witness to the nations.He became a ruler and commander over them. You too will send for nations you do not know.Even though you do not know them,they will come running to you.That is what I will do. I am the Lord your God.I am the Holy One of Israel.I have honored you.” Turn to the Lord before it’s too late.Call out to him while he’s still ready to help you. Let those who are evil stop doing evil things.And let them quit thinking evil thoughts.Let them turn to the Lord.The Lord will show them his tender love.Let them turn to our God.He is always ready to forgive. “My thoughts are not like your thoughts.And your ways are not like my ways,”announces the Lord. “The heavens are higher than the earth.And my ways are higher than your ways.My thoughts are higher than your thoughts. The rain and the snowcome down from the sky.They do not return to it without watering the earth.They make plants come up and grow.The plants produce seeds for farmers.They also produce food for people to eat. The words I speak are like that.They will not return to me without producing results.They will accomplish what I want them to.They will do exactly what I sent them to do. “My people, you will go out of Babylon with joy.You will be led out of it in peace.The mountains and hillswill burst into song as you go.And all the trees in the fieldswill clap their hands. Juniper trees will grow where there used to be bushes that had thorns on them.And myrtle trees will grow where there used to be thorns.That will bring me great fame.It will be a lasting reminder of what I can do.It will stand forever.” 

Trust in Him

Jeremiah 33:14-16 “The days are coming,” announces the Lord. “At that time I will fulfill my good promise to my people. I made it to the people of Israel and Judah. “Here is what I will do in those days and at that time.I will make a godly Branch grow from David’s royal line.He will do what is fair and right in the land. In those days Judah will be saved.Jerusalem will live in safety.And it will be calledThe Lord Who Makes Us Right With Himself.” 

Trust in the Lord. Father God I praise you and believe in you. Why do I always think that I have the answers? I have to trust in you Lord. You can do all things. Lord I know you can hear the prayers of your people, please do not let them fall on deaf ears. We worry when we shouldn't. We place our trust in the wrong things. We just don't have the confidence to keep our mind on you. Lord you remind us to relax in you, keep our mind on your Holy Presence. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Have Faith in God Will. Trust in Him to see me through this. Trust GOD TO BE MY HERO, MY CHAMPION. I love you still. God Bless You today and always.

Howdy

What a week. Thank God for the week. How I miss you. There is so much I want to say and yet I keep quiet. How do you feel?

 As I sit here thinking about what my surgeon said this week, I just think how did I agree to this? Now it seems I may need a second surgery, if I don't get my knee to bend 90 degrees. He feels at this point, almost six weeks down, that I should be able to do that. 

I go back to him on the 27th and if I am not at 90 degrees then it back in surgery to remove scar tissue. The therapist that I see three times a week feels like it's her personal mission to torture me at each visit and to push my leg to 90 degrees weather I am ready or not. I leave there in tears every time. This has been a horrible week. Two more weeks. With the torturer before I see the doctor again.

 God be with me. I want 90 degrees so I can drive and stuff. I just hate the process to get there. I don't want a limp. I want to be the best I can be. Dear Lord, fix me now. I don't know if I can stand the pain. Especially now that I am off the real pain pills. Don't want to become addicted. They give you the regular pain meds and they are crap. God is good and I know I can get through this whole and without a limp. No limp for me. I can do this. 

The pain is excruciating but I know it's for my own good. Beàr the pain.be strong, you can do it. I hear all the encouraging words and phrases, but when you are going through it, sometimes it's minute by minute to just get through. Enough of my sorrows. I had to get it out and now I have. Day by day, it will get better, just not this day. 

I keep my mind on other things, like getting the presidential library on the south side, finding better support to defeat the nra, thinking of all the students who will benefit from two years of college paid for. Those things keep me hopeful. 

I researched the church for the 2016 celebration and found out the architect is the same one who built my grammar school. Same year too. We have so much in common. I'm focusing on something else besides me. I like to think about you. You played my favorite song on Sunday. I love it when you play.

I love you, be blessed.

The Plans You Have for Me

Micah 7:8

Do not rejoice over me, my enemy;

When I fall, I will arise; when I sit in darkness,

The Lord will be a light to me.

Lord you know the plans you have for me. Plans to heal and not harm. Plans that are for your divine purpose. I don't know what that purpose is. I have so many decisions to make Lord. I should consult you on every decision. 

Someone is always telling me what the best decision is for me. Advice is available for free. But I want your advice. I want to listen to you. The people around me seem to know what your will is for my life and theirs. Even though they have a different way of discerning it. Everybody has a different opinion. 

How can I be sure which method is right, which method is you Lord. How do I determine what your will is for me? I'm not wise and I don't know the bible very well. Other people are more qualified than me. They have studied your word and never seem to doubt their purpose. They know exactly what to do and say. I want to be more confident about my purpose. Guide me Lord to your specific will for me. Your glorious and perfect will for my life. 

Lord I am brushing the dust off the dreams within me and I am seeking to fulfill them.

In 2015 I will birth the vision and purpose that my dream has for me. Lord help me to find that perfect will for my life. Many voices try for my attention but let me hear your voice. Keep me close to you. Let me hear your voice. My path is different from someone else. We are here for a purpose. I will walk towards my purpose. Fear is not an option. I have to believe that God is with me and guiding me. God does answer prayers. He hears the prayers of his people. Lord search my heart. The dream that I had was a good one. You comforted me, and reassured me that you were still in love even when I was scared. I will brush the dust off. I'm like an archeologist. Sifting through the rubble of broken dreams and promises. Finding that special dream, the one that really matters, the important one, and bringing it to light. Opening up a hidden treasure. I can only hope that you are part of my dream. My purpose for God. Today is a good day. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone, I love you.

Happy New Year

Thank you God. I am so blessed. I loved being there. No fear for 2015. I will fight through the pain. That was the first time I had been in the city, and actually got out of the car, since November 7th. I had a dream about you. It was very strange. We were around a table with people, maybe for a meeting or something and you were holding my hand while still talking to the people at the table. You kissed my hand and you were just so loving and sweet and still conducting your meeting. You walked around and massaged my shoulders, you were so kind and loving to me. I remember feeling so loved and comforted by you. I wonder if that is an indicator of my future. I pray that it is. I love you.