Its important to be dependable. to have someone know they can rely on you. To trust you and you trust them. Be honest with yourself. Turn your fears over to God and let him comfort you.
Consider it pure joy when you face trials. According to James 1 testing of our faith will develop persevere. Maturity helps to develop us. "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial"
Blessed is the man.
Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.
Hi
Today was my first day back in the system.
I had PD in the morning then a math classin the afternoon from 1-4.
We took a test that was the craziest thing. Praise God I dont have to teach that, but it gives me an idea of what my students go through when they get a test and they dont know as much as they think. I remembered some of it but it was a long time ago. I guess I'll learn how to do algebra again. Lord knows I think I forgot it for a reason, I dont use it and probably wont us it. Havent had to us it this long and I dont see a big rush for it later on in my life. Ten days of this stuff and I am already counting down.
I watered the grass today and feed it lawn food. I spent an hour out there this evening. I was trying to soak the grass so that it wouldnt become too dry. Somebody had to do it.
I plan to attend all of the activities this week.Praise God for worship. Early morning, at night, whenever we can, let us worship. I'm tirednow, my first day and I am regretting the heck out of my vaction is over and I didnt travel like I wanted. Oh well.
Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.
Hi. I am sorry I couldnt go down stairs. My little charge was very cranky and tired so I just took him to the car and headed home. I could only take so much.
Wonderful sermon today. I was blessed. I felt overwhelmed, challenged in many ways. I dont like to complain, I just keep on going.I have to let God fight my battles.
I'll have to listen to the sermon again. I am a victor and not a victim. The devil will not steal my blessing. This may be taking a long time but I I sure that favor and blessings are coming my way. I just keep praising and praising. I am not too busy for God. I will not lose my praise. Daily and continually I will praise him. Thank you Jesus. I dont forget, you are never too far from my heart and mind. Daily I praise God's goodness in my life. Be blessed and be a wonderful blessing to someone.
We keep moving closer and closer. Who would have thought it would be this difficult. What did you do today, participate in a panel discussion?
You have a busy day tomorrow. I pray for a huge turnout.
I'm staying committed, make this happen.
Lord I have been trying to enter an entry for the past hour.
The first one refused to save.
Sometimes when that happens I think that maybe I wasnt suppose to say that.
Lord knows I wonder what to say and struggle to say appropriate and thoughtful things. If I cant touch your heart and mind then I need not say anything at all.Maybe I am taking too long so I will just say good night and God Bless you. Be a blessing to someone.
Thank You Lord for everything.
I have so much to be thankful for.
Thank You for all that I am.
Thank you for today.
I feel rushed somewhat because this is my last week of vacation.
I have this to do list and I am trying to get things done as soon as possible.
How are you doing? What are you thinking about? This has been quite a summer for you so far. 2008 will definitely be a year to remember. Good and bad.
I have watched the Rikers Island High School. The Bloods and Crips Gang. Freedom Writers. Douglass High. anything that relates to high school children, young people in the big cities and how they are coping or not coping. One young boy said "its like the devil is just sitting on your shoulder every day" its so oppressive for them. They smoke all day, drink most of the day and just shoot for the heck of it. It gives them power.
The big thing now is that the older generation, us, we dont understand. Hasnt it been like that all the time. Every generation says that. There's the divide of the tweens and teens, the twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, and on and on. The gap continues to widen.
Overcoming weariness is a big thing. Be blessed tonight and try to be a blessing,.
I am so glad that I have not given up. I will not give up.
I don't say what I expect to happen. I love what ever happens now.
I am open to new and great.
I loved today. I was eager to see you and to hug you.
I'm excited about being around you.
I know that it cannot do anything be get better. I am expecting better.
Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.
Praise the Lord. Put His Word continually on my lips.
Praise the Lord and Faith will rise up inside of me.
I speak of me and my spirit.
Great things happen when I continually praise the Lord. I honor my God, my Lord.
I am so sorry about all the wrong things that I have said or not said.
All the things that I have done or not done.
You are so use to people leaving, you expect it most of the time. I don't blame you, I usually expect the worst. But that is not true anymore. Don't believe in the negative stuff that may have happened before. Believe that something good is going to happen. Constantly reach for the highest expectations in every situation to happen to me each and every day. Believe in myself and believe in others. Don't believe that I will leave you because I wont. I'm like the devoted puppy unfortunately. As long as you show me attention, I'm there. So I will go through the line, I'll wait, I'll hug and I'll kiss because that's about all I have to look forward to right now. I have to make physical contact, I have to talk to you. No pressure. Just do it. Life is good.
How can you give up without even having a kiss? A real kiss. How can you know without a kiss.
How is it that disobedience is related to a hardening of the heart.
Obey God. Obey God. Do what God says to do.
Why wont I just let this go? I cant just keep wasting time. What makes this so different?
I just think it is horrible what happened to that little girl.
I just cant believe she left the house with out someone prompting her. I believe it was another child. That girl was not a regular in that neighborhood and some children are very jealous. I believe a child enticed her out and maybe wanted revenge or something on this little girl. I think it was another child. She would not leave the house if she didnt know the person. Someone from the neighborhood. Somebody knows something and that somebody is a young person.
Now you have to get people to talk. Snitching. The code of the street is not to snitch. This is the hardest thing to break. That's why so many crimes go unsolved.
This is like a magnet now. Its like two polar opposites that attract..
Go away, go away, go away. come here, come here, come here.
Whats going on here. Just cant let it go.
Working for good.
Standing up for what's right.
Making peace with myself and the world.
Knowing my strengths and weaknesses.
I just listened to yesterday's sermon and I made wonderful comments about it as I took notes on the sermon. None of that is here now. The sermon was inspirational, it was good.
I pushed the save button and vamos, it was gone. Just like that.
Words that can not be replaced in the same format and thoughts that are not the same.
I could listen again but not now.
Speak the words and have the faith to back them up.
Be radical enough to expect and demand something to happen. Dont just expect it to happen to you , make it happen.
Be the change that you want to see in the world. See yourself strong.
God will do what he said he will do. I believe in the promises that God has given me and I believe that he is able and willing. I'm not settling for junk in my life. Fakes and replacements will not do. I want the real thing.
Good Night and God Bless.
What a relief it must be for you to free yourself of that dreadful future. Who wants a horrible life of nagging about you not being at home or not having enough money. You are so blessed to be able to sell that story to your doting women. I pray that the meals don't stop because of that. You have the best of being married. You have your meals cooked for you, your clothes taken care of (if you want, I would imagine) I think its great. You don't have to deal with pouty attitudes. You have the freedom to do what ever you want, when ever you want. What a life, and who wouldn't want it. You tried very hard to reassure everyone that you were OK. You did a good job. I am thoroughly convinced that you are content and you desire to be left alone. Totally and completely. You desire no female companionship. God hasn't guided you along that course and you have no inclination to go down the marriage road. Interesting that your new found sense of freedom comes now. You have many years ahead of you and many more goals to achieve. I find it interesting that you are content. Satisfied. At Peace. I guess you won't be references to me and my journal anymore because you are not thinking about me. I prayed to God to allow me to have that same detachment. I hope it comes soon.
Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.
I'm sure your father would have been very proud and thankful that you kept it sincere and simple. Thank God for for that.
I pray that you are safe. I know you have a lot to do this week and your responsibilitites are still not over.
God loves you and so do I. I am thankful that you have some family with you, find comfort and solace with them.
I feel your heart is heavy. I dont know what to say but know that I pray for you every night and day. I think about you and pray for comfort in your life.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I think its so important for you to think about keeping your trip. God knows you need to bond with men who are like you and of the same mind. Able to challenge each other and keep the brain sharp. You are truly in need of some rest and rejuvenation, now more than ever. God loves you and I believe every aspect of your life is occurring for a reason. I'm sure you have all the plans ready for this day. You have know it would happen sooner than later. I dont want to be one of the ones to offer empty words that offer no comfort. Do what is best for yourself. Your father loves you and knows the struggles you have had and I'm sure he is watching over you.
I love the fact that you have reached out through your music and words. I pray the armourbearers keep you safe and comfortable. The heaviness around you is apparent. I have not had a parent leave me so I can't begin to understand your pain., But I do know sorrow for a lost loved one. All of my grandparents are gone now and I loved them so much. I spent more time with them than my parents. I spent most of the 90's caring for my father's father, while losing my other set of grandparents during that time also. Losses can be devastating. We do things we didn't think we would ever do. Making simple plans seem almost impossible. The hurt is almost unbearable. I wondered if it would ever stop. Time does heal all wounds. God is there with us through it all. I believe he cries too. Its necessary.
Let me be at peace with the concerns of today. Internallyand externally.
I am off to swimming with my father. Then more babysitting. I want to get my nails done today too. I have until the 30th of this month and then we go back. Professional Development almost every day until then. They schedule these things thinking we are all off for the month of August and we aren't. I have to prepare an eight week plan for science and reading. Go in early and prepare my lab as well as my homeroom. I also have to prepare my portfolio for the National Boards. July is a busy month.
I don't assume my things of importance are your things of importance but since this is my journal I can only speak of things that I know about, my things. I wonder if I give up trying and just let God do it, will it change anything.
When someone hurts us, our natural reaction is to strike back. To just pray to God to strike them down with a vengeance. When I think about the time someone did me wrong and I wanted to fight back, I knew my spiritual eyes needed to be more attuned to the situation at hand. When things seem to come up after you thought they were laid to rest its just not right. Where is this old junk stuff coming from? I have some happiness come today and then some sadness. What am I suppose to do, just do what they say, give up, I don't think so. I feel like I was kicked in the gut. Knocked down and dragged through the mud. Everything is a struggle. One step forward and two steps back. Sometimes I just don't know what to say so I just don't say anything at all. Where is my heart? What does it feel right now? Knowing something is coming and knowing something is here is two different things.
I'm watching "A Raisin in the Sun" right now. What happens when a dream is deferred? Today I got a large sum of money. We received our deferred pay since we are starting back early in August. I have less than a month before school starts back. This time next month I will be back in school. I am already counting down the days until our next break at the end of September. Tomorrow we will go to the ribfest and enjoy ourselves. What is the problem? I have to think about thiws attack on me right now. Something that's coming from the past that's not even my original problem. Am I the sole responsible person here? Do I have to pay for everything? Is this my responsibility to pay? I truly dont think so. Lord help me find the answer.
What a day. I was ready to help paint the first floor of school. I found out that we were really going to paint the third floor, my floor. My room was painted and I found out I will have a lab after all. What a blessing. I was prepared to really give of my self for another group and low and behold I was rewarded. Thank You Lord.
My lab is in the process of having the asbestos removed (yeah) unfortunately the children have been using that room, at least for the year I was there, for their Spanish classes (boo). Do we wonder about any long term effects for the teacher or the students. I guess not.
I see myself strong in this situation. I can be bold and courageous in my endeavors. We use words to call those things that be not as though they were. Words are meant to encourage, and reinforce our belief in our self and others. We believe in ourselves and others. I speak from my spirit instead of my mind. My mouth, my tongue, and my heart must fall in line. I believe in you and me. I have the faith to back that up.
Be blessed tonight and be a blessing to someone.
Stand up on God's Word and fight for your life. Don't just sit there and give in.
Get mad at Satan and let him know that you are mad. Do not give up or give in. Don't just sit there make something happen.
We can't even say what the problem is. What is the reason for the discourse. It is many things and it is nothing. But none the less it is there. Fight for the relationship. Fight for your health and happiness. Fight for your life. Fight for our children. Fight for a better life. Fight for peace on earth. Fight for what you believe in.
I will be volunteering to paint tomorrow from 12-5 at my school so I don't think I will be at the word in the park. I'm sorry I have to miss it. I know it will be a powerful word for the youth.
Take Care of yourself. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone special.
